Raising Children for the Lord Who Gave Them

God entrusts children to their parents as a stewardship, calling fathers and mothers to teach and live the faith before them within a church that stands with them, while he alone turns a child's knowledge into living trust.

Tell the Coming Generation

God built the handing on of faith into the life of his people from the start: “He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God” (Psalm 78:5–7).^[7] The aim of that teaching is hope in God, and the children who receive it belong first to him. At every child dedication at Providence, parents are asked, “Do you now dedicate your child to the Lord who gave them to you, surrendering all worldly claims upon their lives in the hope that they will belong wholly to Him?”^[13]

A father and mother who answer yes take up the work of stewards, and Chris has described what that stewardship includes: “All those families have the responsibility to steward their children well, to teach their children about God's truth, and to live for Him and to be an example and to educate their children in the ways of righteousness.”^[11] A steward answers to an owner for everything placed in his hands, which makes the work serious and also sets its limits.

The Goal Paul Named for Timothy

Paul wrote to a young pastor raised by a believing mother and grandmother, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14–15). Chris has called that verse the clearest statement of what Christian parents are aiming for, the hope of one day saying to a grown son or daughter, “continue in what you have learned and what you have sincerely believed.”^[9] He drew attention to the movement inside the verse: “It's not just that Timothy had learned these things, but that he himself had moved from simply knowing the truth of God's word into trusting God.”^[9]

Parents can carry a child a long way toward that trust and still find the last step outside their reach. Chris has taught that a mother and father can teach their children the Scriptures while conversion lies beyond their will, since new birth is God's work,^[9] and parents who accept that limit are freed to pour their energy into the part that belongs to them. Timothy's own faith, Paul said, “dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well” (2 Timothy 1:5), and Chris has pointed to what made such faith visible in a home: “A grateful, joyful heart is the key to a sincere faith. It's the expression of a sincere faith.”^[8]

The Curriculum Nobody Writes

Children learn most of what they learn from a parent between the lessons. Chris has put it to the church directly: “Fathers and mothers, your children are listening to you, watching you, learning from you. What are you teaching them? Intentionally and not so intentionally.”^[5] A father teaches what he trusts by what he reaches for when the bills come due, and a mother teaches what she treasures by what she celebrates at the dinner table.

Every parent wants children who behave well, and the desire is right, since Paul tells children to obey their parents “in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). The desire bends when a parent needs those children to make him look good, and Chris has named the idol underneath: “I want to look good by having successful, well-behaved children. Well, what am I worshiping there? Am I worshiping the Lord God? No. My worship of self is driving how I'm interacting with my kids.”^[4] A parent who worships himself will provoke his children sooner or later, which is why Paul pairs the command to children with a charge to fathers: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Chris traced both sides of the household to the same root, telling children, “If you worship the Lord and not yourself, you will be honorific towards your parents,”^[4] and a father whose worship is fixed on the Lord has the freedom to lead his children with patience.

A Subversive Household

Moses' mother hid her baby for three months while Pharaoh's order to drown Hebrew boys stood in force, and then she sealed a basket with bitumen and pitch and set him among the reeds of the Nile (Exodus 2:2–3). Hebrews says his parents “were not afraid of the king's edict” (Hebrews 11:23), and Chris, preaching that chapter, drew the line to Christian homes today: “Making and raising children into fear and admonition of the Lord is one of the most subversive things you can do in this current day.”^[3] A culture with its own plans for the next generation will shape children by default, so a household that forms them in the fear of the Lord has to do it on purpose.

Allies for the Long Game

The daily demands of raising children crowd out the years ahead, and Chris has pressed parents to look past them: “Parents, you have a ton of immediate demands in raising children. I want to encourage you as soberly as I can, not to neglect the long game.” He named what the long game requires: “While you are raising your children, you also need to raise up allies. Trust me, the day will come when you need a whole community of faith to help stand guard over your child's life and doctrine. The friendships you build in the church today will become gatekeepers for your child's heart tomorrow.”^[2]

Chris has described children around a dinner table being asked, “Who do you know that is a servant? Who do you know is faithful? Who do you know is generous?” and answering at once with the names of adults they have watched up close in the church.^[7] Those people become part of what a child learns about the faith, and Chris has urged families to make room for them: “Pick a church, stick with it, if possible put down roots, plant relational seeds, become known, and get to know others. So that when your children get older, they will be surrounded by people who know them, who love them, and who can do their little part in helping launch your child…”^[8]

Children Who Belong to Him

Christian parents do their work under a Father who knows every one of their children better than they do, and Chris has described him as one who “knows his sons and daughters intimately, and he knows everything we need, and he cares enough about us to make sure that we have it.”^[10] That Father “did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all” (Romans 8:32), and it is into his household, purchased by that gift, that parents pray their sons and daughters will be gathered, to belong to him wholly and forever.