The Power to Submit

6 · Acknowledges the contemporary cultural moment—stories of abuse dominating headlines—and the pastoral difficulty of preaching submission when authority is being so visibly abused, validating the congregation's legitimate concerns about the topic

There are plenty of people who will abuse your weakness. There are plenty of people who love to abuse their power. We're seeing it in the headlines every day. The truth is, this today and last week is a terrible time to talk about submission. When you're seeing in the news repeatedly instances of powerful people using their power to abuse people underneath them.

7 · Establishes that despite abuse, marriage remains God's institution with an authority structure reflecting the Godhead, and defines submission not as token gestures but as genuinely walking in the husband's God-given calling—acknowledging this is hard to hear

But the truth is, marriage is an institution created by God. Just like any institution that God has created, it has an authority structure. And human beings love to hijack authority structures. Any institution God has created will have a hierarchy. Because He's patterning them off of His order within the Godhead. And every institution that has an authority structure will sooner or later be hijacked by sinful people who want to abuse that authority structure. You know, it's also really hard to do this. It's really hard, wives, to submit to your husbands because the word submit means submit in a very extensive way. It doesn't mean pretend submission. It doesn't mean I'll let you pick the restaurant. It means to walk with your husband in the calling he's received from God. It means to do that first. It means to pursue that first. And that's hard to do. That's hard to hear.

8 · Pivots from the problem of difficult commands to the solution by introducing the sermon's core methodology: when facing hard biblical texts, look to Jesus to see how He fulfilled the command and how He empowers our obedience

So what do we do when we hit something hard in the Bible? What do we do in life when we're called to do something difficult? Well, I will give you the, I guess I've been a Christian for 35 years or so, the 35-year Christian answer to that that's really simple. When you hit something hard, look to Jesus. When you see a difficult text, look to Christ and ask this question: How did He fulfill this? How did He obey this? And how did He empower my obedience? How did He obey this passage? And how did He empower my obedience? If you really want to obey God, that's the place you have to look— Jesus Christ.

9 · Establishes the theological foundation that Jesus perfectly models both leadership and submission, making Him the only adequate pattern for obedience

Now, when we look to Jesus, and this is what we're doing in this series we're calling the Cross-Centered Marriage, when we look to Jesus, it is amazing how we see Jesus fulfilling all of the roles that He would call us to in Scripture. We tend to think of Jesus in the Ephesians 5 passage, Jesus is presented primarily as the One laying down His life and leading the bride, the church. But the truth is that if you're here today and you're called to submit to someone, and everybody in this room, by the way, is called to submit to someone. Or if you're here today and you're called to lead someone, everybody in this room is called to lead people. If you're called to lead or you're called to submit, You can look to Jesus and see the perfect expression of both leadership and submission. In fact, you can't find the perfect expression of leadership or the perfect expression of submission anywhere else but Jesus. Jesus is the place to go if you want to figure out how to obey the hard text and how His obedience brings about your obedience. So that's what we're doing when we're looking at Jesus. In Luke chapter 22, specifically verse 42, where Jesus says to the Father, "Father, if You're willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done." That's submission. That's submission. "Nevertheless, not My will, but Your will be done." You know what's really interesting is what separates a lot of people who who like some association with the whole Jesus thing, from those who are following Jesus, is when they get to the parts of the Bible that make it hard for them to be happy, they keep obeying. They try to obey. They say very openly, perhaps, to their friends and the church, to God Himself, "This is hard. This doesn't fit my personality. This doesn't fit my position." This is going to cost me something, but nevertheless, not my will be done, but your will be done. We're going to unpack that phrase a lot more, but I just find it interesting that really when you look at what's the core of a true follower of Jesus, what, you know, how do you know He's really changed you? How do you know it's really changed you? Oh man, there's these moments in life where you try to explain why you're still with Him when what He's calling you to is so hard and so contrary to what you want. And you dig and you dig and you dig and you dig and you find this little thing buried deep inside your heart that is saying to God, "I don't want to do this, but not my will, but Your will be done." And you excavate that and you discover, that's not me. That's alien righteousness, as the theologians would say. That's a righteousness not from me. And you see that it's the Jesus righteousness that He describes, that He is speaking in verse 42. "Father, if You're willing, remove this cup from Me." I don't want to do this. This is difficult. This is profoundly terrifying, in fact. 'But nevertheless, not my will but your will be done.' Jesus amazes me that he is such a perfect submitter when I routinely think of him as the perfect leader.

10 · Refutes the objection that Jesus' submission is exceptional and inapplicable to believers by expounding 1 Peter 2 and Philippians 2, which explicitly present Christ's submission as the pattern for Christian obedience and promise that His submissive mind is available to believers

You know, I'm subject to all of the world's misinformation and indoctrination just like everybody else. And the world in every area of life plays a zero-sum game. If someone's wealthy, that means someone has to be poor. If someone's important, that means someone has to be unimportant. If someone's strong, that means someone has to be weak. And we've all been told that if someone's a leader, they can't be a submitter. But that's exactly the opposite of what we see in the Scriptures. That's exactly the opposite of the gospel. Jesus is the perfect leader and the perfect submitter. Now, some people will say, and I've heard this, I've heard this often in fact, When I tell people who are called to submit that they should look to Jesus and be submissive as Jesus was submissive to the Father, they will say— this is true— they'll say, "Well, Jesus is different. He's different. He's an exception." Well, first of all, Jesus is different. That's very true. But did you know the Bible actually tells us that on the subject of submission in particular, we should use Jesus as our standard. Let me say that again. Wives, if you're trying to understand what submission looks like, you would look to Jesus as the standard of that submission. Husbands, as you're thinking about how to— not just husbands, my wife works outside the home as well— if you're thinking about how to submit to a boss, and you're like, what does that even look like? The place to go is Jesus. Look to Jesus and sort out how He would submit to this situation. So no, we don't look at Jesus' submission and say, "This is different." The Bible actually says we're supposed to look at Jesus' submission as the model for our own. 1 Peter 2:17-25 says, "Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect." not only to the good and gentle, but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin, you are beaten for it, you endure? But if, when you do good and suffer for it, you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you've been called, because Christ also suffered for you. Leaving you an example so that you might follow in His steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth. When He was reviled, He did not revile in return. When He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you've been healed, for you were straying like sheep, referencing Isaiah, for we like sheep have gone astray, each to his own way. You were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. The Bible expressly says, as you're trying to figure out how to submit to authorities, look to the way Jesus submitted to the Father and submitted to those in authority as unto the Father. Philippians 2 is perhaps one of the most classic texts on the idea of Christ's submission. And in verse 5 of Philippians 2, it says this, "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a servant." Being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. So the person who would say, well, Jesus is different, Jesus' submission is different. Actually, 1 Peter 2 and Philippians 2, Philippians 2 specifically saying that His submission is indeed ours. In Christ Jesus. This mind that Jesus had in dealing with authority is a mind available to us as we interact with authority.

11 · Establishes that Jesus' submission functions both as moral example and as the means of empowerment—His submission secures the grace by which we can submit, making Him the uniquely sufficient model

So Jesus is the only model of submission that ultimately matters because not only does He show us what we're supposed to do, but He gives us the power to do it through, by the way, His act of submission, which we'll talk about in a moment.

12 · Corrects a common misunderstanding of biblical submission: it is not the wife pursuing her own agenda while occasionally checking in with her husband

And Jesus' submission to the Father is not a shallow submission. I said last week that all too often in homes that believe in Ephesians 5:22, in homes that believe in complementarity, the idea that men and women have different roles in marriage designed to reflect the gospel, all too often in homes that believe all these things, there is simply the idea that the wife is moving forward with her agenda checking in every once in a while to see if the husband has anything interesting to do. And that's not reflecting the Gospel. And by the way, that is mostly a male problem. I'll talk about that later. But that's usually because dudes are not living in an agenda big enough to need help.

13 · Defines true submission positively by showing how Jesus operated: His entire life was organized around discerning and doing the Father's agenda

But when we look to Jesus, we see that's all He did. That's all He did. All Jesus did was ask, "What's the Father doing? What's the Father doing? What's the Father doing? What does the Father have for me to say? What does the Father have for me to do? What is the Father about today?" That's what He did. That's submission. Living in the agenda of the One you're called to submit to.

14 · Emphasizes the historical reality of Gethsemane: this is not merely literary or symbolic but an actual event in space and time where real righteousness was achieved, grounding the theological claims in historical fact

And as I've said, this is far more than a model, friends. I just want you to think about this. If you love literature, this section of Scripture is just beautiful writing. There's knees on the dirt. There's blood coming out of sweat pores. It says, "About a stone's throw away." It's just this beautiful evocative writing. Just think about this. This is a real place in real time. This is real dirt on real knees and real blood out of sweat glands. And this is a real place and this is real righteousness.

15 · Establishes that Jesus' submission in Gethsemane was vicarious—He fought the battle not just for Himself but to secure real righteousness for believers, enabling their obedience to whatever hard commands they face

And the wrestling, the battle that Jesus is engaged in right now is a real battle to give to give you real forgiveness and real righteousness so that you can obey Him in this moment. And friends, whether it's submission or sobriety or self-control, whatever the hard text is for you, the battle was fought and won in Luke 22:23. Jesus' ability in His perfect righteousness to say, "Not my will, but Thy will be done. And not only for me, but on behalf of all who would believe in me." That's amazing.

16 · Structural transition announcing the three main points to follow, clarifying that the sermon addresses submission universally, not only in marriage, and that the first point applies to all difficult biblical texts

So today I just want to give you 3 more points on the idea of submission. And as we said last week, this applies not only to wives in marriage, but this would apply to anybody called to submit to anything, and all of us are called to submit to all sorts of things. I want to just give you 3 points about this. The first one will apply to that larger issue of the hard text as well.

17 · Introduces Point One: Jesus valued hearing God's difficult word over comfortable silence

First point is this: In Jesus' heart, a hard word was better than an easy silence. In Jesus' heart, a hard word was better than an easy silence. Look at verse 39, 22. "And He came out and went, as was His custom, to the Mount of Olives." And the disciples followed Him. And when He came to the place, He said to them, 'Pray that you may not enter into temptation.' He withdrew from them about a stone's throw and knelt down and prayed. One of the things we see in that little section of Scripture is that Jesus loved speaking with God. And I want you to think about the idea that prayer is this sort of kind of functional, practical way that we submit our bodies and our minds and our time to God. To God. You know, that's probably why prayer is so hard for us. It's because it's kind of like pure submission. We're submitting the moment to God. We're submitting our fidgets, our wiggles to God. We're submitting our wandering mind to God. You know, prayer is this sort of like moment of practicing submission to God. And Jesus, as it says in this passage, loved to withdraw. It was His custom to withdraw and pray to the Father. I want you to just remember as we think about submission, especially when we think about verse 42, which is where Jesus says, "If there's any way for you to take this cup from me, please do it, but nevertheless your will and not my will be done." I want you to think about this: a hard word is better than an easy silence when it comes to submitting to an authority figure. What we see modeled by Jesus in this text is not suck it up and bear it, right? It's not just shut up and do it. Jesus is engaged in a conversation with the Lord. He's telling the Lord, this is tough, this is difficult.

18 · Applies the principle to wives: the biblical command for a 'quiet and gentle spirit' does not mean silence or suppression but an internal calmness achieved through prayer, while still engaging in honest conversation like Jesus did with the Father

You know, ladies, there's that passage in 1 Peter 3. My wife refers to this passage often in her counseling. It's a passage that refers to women having a quiet spirit. A quiet and gentle spirit. And I just want to be clear as we're talking about what it looks like, what marriage, what submission looks like in marriage in particular, it doesn't mean shutting up and doing it. It actually means engaging in a conversation like Jesus engaged in with the Father. The quiet and gentle spirit in 1 Peter 3 isn't referring to not talking, it's referring to have a spirit inside of you that is calmed and quieted. By the way, probably through a lot of prayer.

19 · Extends application to children and parents, using the pastor's own parenting practice as an example: he invited his children to engage in conversation before discipline, modeling that biblical submission involves dialogue rather than silent compliance

So when we talk about submission inside of marriage or kids, when you're called to submit to your parents, I always used to tell my kids when they were younger, as I was disciplining them, or actually before I would discipline them, if I'm missing something, tell me. I don't want to make a fool of myself here. If I'm missing something, give me the evidence I need. And what I was asking them to do was engage in this process with me. Talk with me through this process. This isn't just shut up and take it. This is submit with hard words rather than an easy silence.

20 · Contrasts hijacked authority (which demands silence) with biblical authority (which invites conversation)

So one of the things we mean when we talk about hard words are better than an easy silence is that Jesus loved to talk to the Father. And even in this moment when God's will was expressly clear, Jesus kneels down in the dirt and says, I'd really prefer another way. But nevertheless, not my will but your will be done. Remember I was telling you earlier about how people love to hijack authority structures? When they're hijacking authority structures, they'll usually want you to shut up and do it. When they're actually hijacking the authority structures, they don't have the time, they don't have the patience, they don't have the love And they certainly don't have the intellectual rigor to actually engage in a conversation with you about the hard thing they're calling you to do. They just want you to shut up and do it. But that's not what we see here. And that's not what we see in the biblical model of submission. In the biblical model of submission, the Father invites us to speak to Him as the Father, as Jesus does here. The Father invites us to say, "I'm troubled. My soul is troubled within Me." Friends, if you'd read the Psalms, you'd see that over and over again, these sorts of conversations take place and they always end on submission. But they often involve some questioning, some trouble, some wondering. How about this, Lord? What about this?

21 · Develops the 'hard word better than silence' principle further: Jesus treasured hearing from the Father even when the word was difficult

But what I really meant when I talked about a hard word being better than an easy silence is that Jesus not just loved to speak to the Father, but He really loved to hear from the Father. Jesus had this attitude toward God's Word. He wanted to hear God speak, and the Father had made His will known to Him. And it was a hard word, but it was better than no word at all. This is relating to what we sang before I came up here: Where else can we go, Lord? Where else can we go? You alone have the words of eternal life. The deep irony is, is that in those moments when God drops a hard command in our life, he's inviting us into a conversation and into a relationship, but into depending on him and into proving his faithfulness. And so often when he drops that hard word, we just get mad and walk away.

22 · Uses a parenting illustration to show the progression from pretending not to hear authority to openly challenging it as unfair, then contrasts this with the proper response to God's hard word: gratitude that He speaks at all

You know, I've noticed that as my kids got older— when they were young, their favorite disobedience was to act like they needed hearing aids at the age of 8. So you'd tell them to do something and they would act like they didn't hear you. Right? And then as they got older, instead of acting like they don't hear you, they just tell you you're wrong and that you're unfair. Usually unfair. Unfair. Where does that word come from? I didn't teach them that. Unfair. So there's a pivot between I don't hear you to I don't trust you. Right? But instead, when you hear God's hard word, you say, "You know what? He doesn't have to talk to me at all. He doesn't have to speak to me at all."

23 · Tells the story of a friend in Africa whose wife was declared dead, revived, and immediately asked for water—which the husband gladly gave because the relationship was restored

I had a friend in Africa that was in a terrible car wreck. And he woke up in the hospital next to his wife and she was declared dead. She was actually not just declared dead, but they had stopped working on her. They had left her alone. And he's kind of conscious. He's in pain, but he realizes. They tell him, "Your wife's dead." And this is a man of faith. And he goes to her bed and is just laying on top of her wailing, "Lord, bring her back. Bring her back. Lord, bring her back. Not yet." I'm not ready for my wife to leave me yet. Not yet, not yet, not yet. And she chokes, coughs, and she's awake. Now was she dead? Or was she mostly dead? I don't know. In his mind, she was dead. In his mind, and in the hospital's mind too, by the way, she was dead. They'd left her alone to just be there. Attending to other people who actually could be treated, and she's awake. Now I want you to imagine his joy in that moment. I mean, he describes it, it's just this unbelievable moment, my wife is with me again. But I want you to imagine in that moment, she said to him, I know this woman, she said to him, please get me a glass of water. Now can you imagine the husband saying in response to that, "You're such a nag. You've literally been alive for less than a minute and you're already telling me what to do." No, he wouldn't say that at all. He'd gladly get her the glass of water. Why? Because his relationship with his wife is alive. She's asking for things. He is happy to give her those things. Friends, you were dead to God, without hope and alone in this world, dead in your sins and trespasses. And if upon waking He asks you to do something for Him, you should be thankful that you hear from Him at all. You should be overwhelmed with the privilege of knowing the will of the God of the universe. You should count your lucky stars that you have a hard word because the easy silence is terrible. The easy silence is death.

24 · Synthesizes Point One with multiple scriptural supports: Psalm 119 shows David delighting in God's commands, Hebrews 10 shows Christ coming to do God's will, and Deuteronomy 4 shows Moses declaring Israel blessed to have God's Word

How do we respond to moments when God calls us to do hard things? We say, "Well, I'm just glad You're talking to me." It is better to walk a hard path with God than an easier path without God. Psalm 119 is a great psalm to read this week as you think about this point. There are just these moments over and over again in the psalm when David, taking on the type of Christ, actually writing what Christ would pray Himself, things like, "I will delight in Your statutes. I will not forget Your word. Your testimonies are my delight. They are my counselors. For I find delight in Your commandments which I love." Jesus is spoken of in Hebrews 10 as quoting Psalm 40, "Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God, as it is written of Me in the scroll of this book." Let's put it this way, guys. You've got about 80 years in this life. If what you do for 80 years is listen to God and do what He says, it's all good. That's an incredible privilege. That's a great way to spend a life. That's an eternally significant way to spend a life. We can't forget that God's words are lamps unto our feet, even the hard ones. And when He tells us to do something we don't want to do, that we find painful and confusing, friends, it's still light. In fact, it might just be pretty bright light, which is the problem. In Deuteronomy 4, Moses reminds the people of God, "You're lucky to have this God." You're lucky to have His Word. He says, "For what great nation is there that has a God so near to it as the Lord God is to us, whenever we call upon Him? And what great nation is there that has statutes and rules so righteous as this Law that I set before you today?" Friends, hard words are better than no word at all.

25 · Announces Point Two: the particular difficulty of submitting to God by submitting to sinful human authorities

Number 2, Submission to God through sinners is hard. Submission to God through sinners is hard.

26 · Uses a community group discussion to illustrate Point Two: men complained about submitting to bosses, revealing everyone's struggle with submitting through sinful authorities

So we did a community group this week and we talked about the sermon from last week. And what I thought was hilarious was all the guys whining about submitting to their bosses while all the wives sat there and just smiled like with this look of irony on their face. One of the guys is not here today, Paul Tucker. He was saying— Paul, if you don't want to be talked about, don't show up. No, his kids are sick. He was saying, like, you know, I've worked in the corporate world for a long time, you know, relating to bosses can be difficult. He's just kind of whining a little bit. And I just say, you know, so I bet if you talk to your wife, there may have been moments in your marriage where you asked her to do something and then took it back from her moments later. Or you asked her to do something with a lack of clarity so as to not really know how to do it. Or you asked her to do something without giving her the resources to accomplish the task. Or you just didn't ask her to do anything and just left her kind of hanging out for a while. I bet if you talked to her, she would have moments like that. And his wife just kind of smiled. Truth is that everybody in this room knows what it feels like when God tells us to submit to Him. That's hard enough. But then He tells us, I want you to submit to Me by submitting to that guy. And you look at that guy. And you're like, oh, okay.

27 · Exposits Luke 9:22 and 9:44 to show that Jesus explicitly identified being 'delivered into the hands of men' as part of His suffering, proving that submitting to sinful human authorities was indeed part of the cup's bitterness that Jesus wrestled with in Gethsemane

As I was working through this text for the last 2 weeks, the question kept coming up to me is, did Jesus struggle with that? Did Jesus articulate that particular problem? That it's one thing to submit to God, but it's another thing to submit to God through sinners. That's especially hard. And I thought, you know, I'm pretty sure that was a part of this cup that He didn't want to take. I think this idea of submitting to sinners was a big part of the process. But I remembered there was a passage in Scripture in Luke 9 where Jesus not only talks about this, but He says it, He underlines it. Luke 9:22, "The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day rise." Let's say that again. "He must be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day may be raised." Now, He keeps talking, and He says in verse 44, this phrase. Let those words sink into your ears. The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men. So yes, I think that for Jesus, the experience of being delivered into the hands of sinful men was a unique experience in His submission to God. It was part of the terror, the disgust in the cup that He was to take. It was part of the bitterness of that cup, the prospect of submitting to sinful men, submitting to God by submitting Himself to sinful men, which we see actually right after He's done praying starts to take place.

28 · Expands exposition by showing the profound irony and terror of Jesus' submission: the true prophet submitting to false priests, the true king standing before false rulers, the true judge enduring mock trials—Jesus experienced submission to sinful authorities at a level believers cannot comprehend

Jesus is done praying and these people come to arrest Him and Jesus very, very easily could have winked and they would have all disintegrated, right? He had a million ways He could have killed them. Many we don't even know are physically possible. And He submits Himself to these sinful men. So, yes, Jesus did experience this terror. In fact, Jesus experienced this terror at a level we don't understand. I just want you to think about it. Jesus is the true prophet. He sees into the future as the Father allows Him. And He has to allow Himself get caught in a surprise attack by Judas. And the high priests. Jesus is the one true prophet, and He has to submit to these false priests. Jesus is the true King, and He has to stand before Pilate and Herod. Jesus is the true love, and He has to endure the false kiss of Judas. Jesus is the true intercessor, enduring schemes of men supposedly concerned about the spiritual welfare of the nation. Jesus is the true judge, and he has to endure mock trials.

29 · Identifies the theological key to Jesus' submission: He trusted that God could change, lead, and use sinful people for His purposes

How was he able to do this? He trusted God, guys. Duh. Specifically, let me tell you, this is the key. This is why submission is so important in a marriage to reveal the power of the Gospel. Specifically, this is what he believed. He believed that God could change people, lead people, and use people. For His purposes. And when we struggle with submission, we don't believe that. Which means we don't believe the Gospel.

30 · Presses the application through a series of rhetorical questions: does the congregation believe in a God bigger than the sins, weaknesses, incompetencies, and character flaws of their authorities? Inability to submit reveals a small view of God and the Gospel

When we have trouble believing that God can change people, use people for His purposes, that's shorthand for I don't believe the Gospel's true. Jesus was able to submit to sinful men. Because he believed in a God bigger than their sin. Do you believe in a God bigger than the sins of the people you're called to submit to? Do you believe in a God bigger than the weaknesses of the people you're called to submit to? The incompetencies of the people you're called to submit to? The personality flaws, the character flaws of the people you're called to submit to? Do you believe in a Gospel that big?

31 · Announces Point Three using Philippians 2 language: Jesus stopped grasping for equality with God and received exaltation, introducing the sermon's climactic point about the paradox of submission leading to glory

Number 3: Jesus got over grasping and received eternal gladness. Jesus got over grasping and received eternal gladness.

32 · Exposits the vicarious nature of Jesus' submission: in Gethsemane and on the cross, Jesus bore every believer's rebellion and lack of submission, taking God's wrath against our refusal to trust and obey, so that we might be empowered to submit to God

So you have Him in the garden sweating blood and deciding, "Not My will, but Thy will be done." Not My will, but Thy will be done. And that moment in one way, The purchase agreement was signed on our eternal submission. As our High Priest, as our Advocate, as the One who would stand for us, His submission to God is the delivering of our submission. He would soon be blindfolded and beaten. He would soon be cursed and spit on. He would have parts of His beard plucked out. He would hang naked on a cross. A crown of thorns would be shoved into the flesh around His skull, and worse than all of that, Jesus Christ, by submitting to the Father in this moment, would carry the sins of every man and woman that God has chosen to be saved, and every one of those sins had at their root a lack of submission. Every one of your sins, Every one of my sins, friends, are all about us wanting to go our own way, wanting to do our own thing, wanting to act like we didn't hear God or that He's unfair. And Jesus, if you're His, Jesus took every one of your sins on Him. And every one of those sins has a root of rebellion. So that this perfectly submissive one, the terror of this cup, the bitterness of this cup is this man loved to submit to the Father. He loved to trust the Father. He loved believing that the Father can change things. He loved to do the Father's will. And now he has our sin at its root, a hatred of trusting God. A hatred of doing what God says. A hatred of obeying. A hatred of believing. Jesus has taken on every ounce of our lack of submission. And He's receiving God's righteous wrath against all of it on the cross. And He's doing it so that we can submit to God.

33 · Exposits Philippians 2's language of 'grasping': human insecurity drives us to claw for recognition of our equality and importance, but Jesus, though truly equal to God, never grasped at that status

Now, I use this phrase, "getting over grasping," giving Him eternal gladness because it's connected to Philippians 2. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though He was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. Now this word grasp really grabbed our attention in community group. By the way, if you're not in a community group, I hear from everybody involved in community groups just how God is blessing those and how great things are happening. And our group is just, we're really enjoying it. We've got 2 different groups. They're both just, it's been beautiful. But what really got us as we looked at this text this week was this word grasping. Grasping. You know, there is a part of all of us that just can't submit because we just can't handle letting go of the idea that we're as important as everybody else. We want everybody to know that. We definitely want the person we're submitting to to know that, right? I'm going to submit to you, but don't you think it's because I'm not your equal. These profound insecurities. These profound fears of being seen as weak. And Jesus was equal to God. And He stopped grasping. He didn't grasp at that. I said stop. He never did. He didn't grasp at that. He wasn't clawing for equality. Ladies, I'm sorry, this is just going to sound terrible and this is probably going to be on a blog somewhere. The whole world is full of women who are so profoundly insecure about their own equality that all they do is grasp. And there's another way. A way that says, "I believe God's word. He says I'm great in Christ. And I don't need everyone else to give me What God has already given me. I'm going to stop being a grasper. Jesus lets go and follows the Father's agenda.

34 · Direct pastoral acknowledgment to wives: submitting to an imperfect husband's agenda is genuinely terrifying and requires tremendous faith, validating the emotional weight of the call before pointing to the solution

This is huge, especially as it relates to marriage. He lets go and follows the Father's agenda. This is terrifying. Terrifying to say, "I'm going to, as a woman, I'm going to submit to my husband." and I'm going to follow his agenda. When we see this guy, he puts his underwear on backwards sometimes, like you've seen the whole deal. This is terrifying.

35 · Completes the exposition of Philippians 2 by showing the result of Jesus' non-grasping submission: the Father's agenda was to exalt the Son

Well, listen to what happens when Jesus doesn't bring an agenda except to submit to the Father. Therefore, God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father. What was the Father's ultimate agenda? What was the ultimate agenda that Jesus was submitting to? To glorify the Son, to exalt the Son.

36 · Applies the principle to husbands: they must have an agenda big enough to require their wife's gifts—an agenda defined biblically as making their bride beautiful in holiness and making the church beautiful through fruitfulness

What does this look like in marriage? Well, it's pretty amazing what it looks like in marriage. We'll talk about this way more next week. Men, I know many of you, I love walking with you in Christ, and if you're married or going to be married, let me just tell you what this means. You need an agenda big enough to need her. And you need an agenda big enough to need her and you. Her unique gifts, her unique calling, her unique skills. Let me tell you what your agenda is. You don't have to make it up, it's in the Bible. Your agenda is twofold: to beautify your bride in eternal holiness, eternal joy, eternal gladness. To give her the best eternity possible. I love planning vacations for my family. I do. I just think, well, they're going to enjoy this, they're going to enjoy that, this is going to be great, we're going to have so much fun here. Loving my wife, serving my wife is about planning her eternity. Helping her to become more and more holy. Practically, that's my job. So your agenda is to make your bride beautiful. And your agenda is to make the Bride beautiful. You are called to rule and subdue the earth by being fruitful and multiplying. And if you live between these two bookends, make my bride look beautiful, make the bride, the church, look beautiful, that's an agenda big enough to bring your whole family into. And when you live in that agenda, everyone's going to get way more than they ever asked or imagined.

37 · Closing prayer (incomplete in transcript) beginning to express gratitude for God's faithfulness and acknowledging that obedience comes not through persuasion but through God's work

Let's pray. Gracious God, we praise Your name for Your faithfulness to us. It is actually not, it doesn't work this way where we don't get talked into obeying you because