All right, if you want to open with me to Matthew 18, beginning in verse 21, it'll be up on the screen there as well. It's a rather long passage, so be patient. It's the parable of the unforgiving servant. Beginning in verse 21, "Then Peter came up and said to Him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?' 'As many times as 7?' And Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you 7 times, but 70 times 7.' Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that they had, and payments to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him. Saying, 'Pay me what you owe.' So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."
The text this morning begins with Peter asking Jesus a question. He says, "Lord, how often 'Will my brother sin against me and I forgive him as many as 7 times?' It's a good question that Peter had, but it needs to be set within its context. This isn't a question that was on Peter's mind that he just blurted out randomly. Peter wasn't just trying to come up with some random question to generate discussion as they sat around the fire.
So let's back up a little bit and take a look at what precedes just before this passage. Matthew 18, beginning in verse 15, says, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church." And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. So this passage here in Matthew 18:15 begins with, "If your brother sins against you." The topic here, the context is sin. Jesus isn't addressing hurt feelings or irritations or ruffled feathers. Sin is a serious offense and it requires a serious response. So when someone sins against us, we are to go to him. We aren't instructed to withdraw, to sulk and gossip or slander the individual who has sinned against us. We are to go to them carefully and wisely, maybe after a bit of a cooling-off period if that's necessary. But either way, we are to go to them, to confront them. And we do this because Jesus wants the individual to be restored. He wants the individual to be given a chance to repent. To ask forgiveness so that we can win our brother back, it says, and be reconciled to him.
The message this morning is one on forgiveness, so I'm not planning to go into detail on the process of church discipline that Jesus outlines here in Matthew. But it's important to keep in mind the context of what immediately precedes our text on forgiveness. It's a text on church discipline.
The process of discipline and reconciliation that Jesus lays out, though, works. And the one who has sinned, who sinned, comes and asks for forgiveness and wants to repent and be reconciled, then are we required to forgive them for their sin? When Peter asks that question, this is exactly what he's asking about. How many times, Jesus, should I forgive my 'My brother who has sinned against me.' You can imagine Peter's thought process going something like this. Okay, if someone sins against me, I get it. I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to go to them. Maybe I'll take a friend or two if needed. I go in front of the whole church if needed. I got that. I go and I confront him about sin. As hard as that may be, I go and I confront him. I also know what to do if he doesn't respond and refuses to listen. Then I go back a second time, a third time. But what if it works? What if the person actually repents and asks forgiveness and wants to be reconciled on the first time or the second time or the third time? Now, Peter obviously assumes that we're supposed to forgive him, 'cause that's what is the basis of his question. It isn't, "Should I forgive him?" It's, "How many times should I forgive him?" This is an excellent question, an excellent follow-up question that Peter has for Jesus. There's no reason to assume that Peter's question is anything but sincere. It's an important question for Peter. It's an important question for us as well. How many times must I forgive someone who sins against me? Is there a limit on my forgiveness? Jewish tradition and the teaching of the rabbis at the time put a limit on forgiveness and would have suggested the correct answer to Peter's question was 3 times. A couple of quotes from some rabbis. First one is, "He who begs forgiveness from his neighbor must not do so more than 3 times." The second one is, "If a man commits an offense once, then forgive him. If he commits an offense a second time, they forgive him." If he commits an offense a third time, they forgive him. The fourth time, they do not forgive him. So the context for Peter's life would have been three times. Someone comes to me, confesses and asks forgiveness, do it the first time, the second time, and the third time. After that, you had no obligation to keep forgiving anymore. So that's the culture that Peter was raised in. It would have been in the back of his mind as he's listening to Jesus teach here. So when Peter says, "Seven times," Peter very well could have been thinking how generous he was. Culture said three times, the religious leaders said three times, so I'm going to go out on a limb. I can say, "I'll do it seven times, Jesus." Peter understood something about the Savior's heart. He'd been with Jesus for quite a while now. He knew of His attitude. He knew of His mercy. He knew of His forgiving Spirit, so in Peter's mind, 7 times is probably a very generous number to be thinking to the possible answer to that question.
And so Peter asks, "Is 7 enough?" Jesus answers, "I do not say to you up to 7, but up to 77 times," or 7 times 7, 70 times 7. How can you just imagine Peter's voice or face when he hears that answer? He's thinking 7 is a very generous offer. And Jesus takes it and ups the ante far higher. And Jesus isn't just saying, "Go and do it 77 times, and then on the 78th time, now you're free to not be forgiving anymore." The intention here, Jesus' intention here is to set a number so high that we can't possibly keep count. That's the point of it. We're not supposed to keep count of how many times we've been sinned against and how many times we're to forgive. Jesus is saying your forgiveness is to be unlimited. There are to be no limits or boundaries on our forgiveness to others.
6 · Applies the command to the listener's experience of repetitive offense, naming the emotional difficulty of forgiving someone who repeatedly commits the same sin and the temptation to withhold forgiveness after weariness sets in
And this can be hard to do at times with someone who comes and asks us to forgive, confesses their sin to us, we forgive them, and then a day or two later, a week or a month later, they are there doing the same thing again. We're okay the first few times. Maybe even 7 times. But eventually, many of us are going to get weary of that person continuing to sin and having to continue to forgive him because we know based on experience they're just going to keep doing it again, and it gets hard for us to forgive.
7 · Grounds the command to forgive in three biblical warrants—Proverbs, Ephesians, and Colossians—and theologically establishes that forgiveness is required because (1) God has forgiven us, (2) we are image bearers, and (3) we ourselves are perpetual sinners needing forgiveness from others
But there has to be vast room in our hearts for forgiveness. Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger." And it is His glory to overlook an offense. We need to be slow to anger and we need to be willing to overlook offenses. Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you." And Colossians 3:12, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility." humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive. So we are to forgive because that is what God has done to us. And as His image bearers, we are to do the same thing, extend that same grace, that same mercy to others around us. We are to forgive others because we realize that we are weak, that we will fail, that we will sin, and that we ourselves are always going to be in need of forgiveness as well. So we sin against God, we sin against others, and we ask them to forgive us, and we hope and expect them to do that. We hope and expect people to forgive us for our offenses against them, for our sins against them. And we need to be willing to grant the same thing to those who sin against us.
8 · Traces forgiveness through redemptive history by citing multiple Old Testament and New Testament examples (Joseph, David, Paul and Philemon) to establish that forgiveness has always characterized God's people across the canon
Forgiveness has always been a quality of God's people. Back in the Old Testament, there are numerous, many examples of forgiveness there. In Genesis 50, Joseph forgave his brothers for the horrific deed of selling him into slavery. David forgives his enemy Saul in 1 Samuel 24. In 1 Samuel 25, David forgave Nabal. In 2 Samuel 19, David forgave Shimei for cursing at him. And while in Rome, Paul met a runaway slave named Onesimus. Paul preached the gospel to this slave, and Onesimus became a Christian. Once converted, Paul tells him that he must return back to his master. But Paul writes a letter to his friend Philemon and pleads with Philemon in that letter to take back his slave and to forgive him. For what he had done, for his running away. Forgiveness is so basic with God's dealing with us that it must also be basic to our dealings with others.
9 · Establishes the anthropological basis for constant forgiveness—human sinfulness and mutual need—and transitions into the exposition of the parable by flagging the warning at its conclusion
We acknowledge that we are weak, we're sinful, we're foolish, we're prone to disobey, and we're often ignorant. Each one of us is going to need lots of forgiveness throughout our lifetimes. So instead of being quick to condemn others who sin against us, we should be quick to forgive them as we expect them to be quick to forgive us. So our forgiveness should be relentless, it should be constant. And to drive the point home for Peter and the others who were sitting around there listening, Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving servant. It's a story, it's a parable that we should be very familiar with. And it also contains a warning at the end that we need to pay attention to.
10 · Begins the parable exposition by establishing the narrative setup: a king settling accounts with a servant who owes an enormous debt of 10,000 talents, explicitly likening this to the kingdom of heaven
The story begins in verse 23. He said, "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents." So Jesus is telling us that there's a king who has a kingdom, and we are told that we can liken this to the kingdom of heaven. The king had some servants, and the time had come to settle up accounts. With the servants. The first servant that comes in has a debt of 10,000 talents. We aren't told how or why this servant had that kind of debt, but he did, and he's now called to account for that debt, the 10,000 talents.
11 · Calculates the magnitude of 10,000 talents by converting it into modern equivalents ($12 billion, 200,000 years of wages) to establish that the debt is impossibly large—unpayable by any conceivable means
So how much is 10,000 talents? It's not a measure that we understand very easily in today's culture, but if you want to understand in terms of wages, One talent was equal to 6,000 denarii. A denarii was, was one day's wages for a common laborer. So a talent then was equivalent to roughly 20 years of wages, and this servant owes 10,000 of those, or roughly 200,000 years' worth of wages for a common servant back then. Now we have a lot more buying power today than a common laborer had back then, but it wouldn't be unrealistic to think of this debt being roughly equivalent to about $12 billion. If I made a salary of $50,000 a year and worked at it for 200,000 years, that would come out to be about $12 billion. So that's the kind of debt that this servant has that he's being called to account for. The point here, again, is not to get wrapped up in the number itself, but to realize that this number is so large There is no way that this servant can possibly ever pay it back.
12 · Explains the cultural and legal background of debt slavery, establishing that the king's command to sell the servant and his family was a legitimate exercise of authority under ancient law
And since he didn't have any means to repay it, actually, the king commands that his servant, along with his wife and his kids, be sold so that the king could perhaps get a few dollars back, maybe a few pennies on the dollar. The king had every right to do that back then. The man was in debt to the king. And he had no way to repay. It was perfectly acceptable back then to sell people into slavery along with their families to pay back some debt that was owed. The king wanted to get some compensation, even how meager it was, but something nonetheless for his 10,000 talents.
13 · Exposits the servant's absurd promise to repay an unpayable debt and the king's shocking response—total forgiveness—then explicitly maps the parable onto the gospel: we are the servant with an unpayable sin-debt, and God is the king who forgives it entirely out of mercy
The story continues in verse 26 with the servant falling down on his knees and begging the king. He says, "Have patience with me and I will repay you everything." Now, keep in mind that the guy owes $12 billion. What do you think the king is thinking? "Sure, no problem. I'll let you off. You go out there and earn $12 billion, no problem." It's not unreasonable to think this request from this servant is just utterly ridiculous. How can this guy pay that back? He's just a servant. He's not some kind of lord. Who has access to large amounts of money. He's not a big business owner. He's a servant in the kingdom who makes a few dollars a day. And now he says, "Just give me a little bit of time. Give me a few years and I'll pay off that 10,000 talents." So either this man has been out in the sun too long, or he thinks the king is actually a fool. You think the king is actually going to believe that if you just give me a little bit of time, I'm gonna be able to pay this off. Best case scenario is that this guy maybe, maybe over the course of his life might be able to pay back 1 or 2 of those talents, but 10,000 is not even a possibility. It's laughable that this guy asked for the king to give him time to pay back the 10,000 talents. But the king responds in an utterly amazing way. Instead of granting the servant's request for more time, he says this, "And out of pity for him," this is the king in response to the servant, "the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt." The king has mercy on his servant who owes him $12 billion and says, "No big deal. I release you. I forgive all that debt." "Okay, you're free to go." Now, we might think the king is foolish, agree with the servant, the king is foolish for thinking that, but that's what the king's response is. The king had mercy. He had pity on that servant. The servant had somehow managed to lose or squander 10,000 talents of the king's funds, and the king shows him mercy, and he forgives the debt. It's mind-boggling if we stop and think about what we just heard. But here's the deal. Isn't this the same way that God treats us? We were sinners, we were without God, and we were without hope in the world, Paul tells us in Ephesians. And like that servant, we find ourselves before the King of the universe with an unpayable debt. Our sin, we have racked up a debt that is so large that we could never possibly pay it back. We've been guilty of embezzling common grace with general revelation. We've ignored the free call of the gospel, and we've ignored countless opportunities to honor God in our lives. We've wasted our lives and we've built up a debt of sin that is so large that we could possibly— never possibly pay it back. But God looks at us like that king looked at that servant. He knows that the debt is unpayable. Because our debt is so overwhelmingly large, we could easily, we should easily find ourselves in hell forever paying off that price. Our debt to God is unpayable as much as that debt that servant had to his king was unpayable.
14 · Identifies and refutes the works-righteousness instinct—the temptation to believe we can earn forgiveness by slightly tipping the moral scales in our favor—by declaring it as foolish and futile as the servant's promise to repay 10,000 talents
The servant fell down and pleaded, "Have mercy on me." "Be patient and I will repay." And how often are we tempted to fall in that same line of thinking that I can repay as well if I sin, if I can just get the scales to balance out just ever so slightly in my favor, if I can do just a few good things to balance out all the bad things and the scale just tips ever so slightly in my favor. Then God is going to forgive me and I can come and be in heaven and he'll accept me because on the scale of the justice, I'm just slightly ahead in the good column versus the evil column or the bad column. That servant was wrong about his ability to pay off the debt, and if we think that way, if we fall into that line of thinking, we are equally as wrong. We can't get on God's good side just by doing a few nice things.
15 · Synthesizes the gospel typology by declaring that God's forgiveness works exactly like the king's—God takes on our debt through Christ's substitutionary death, cancels it entirely, and gives forgiveness as a gift
But Jesus doesn't really go into that in depth. We're simply told that the king felt compassion. He forgave the debt and he released the servant. And that's how forgiveness before God works for us as well. The Lord says, "Forget it. I will take on that debt. I will die in your place and you are now debt-free. The price has been paid. And I give it as a gift." just like this servant received that gift from the king, we receive forgiveness from God the same way.
16 · Pauses the narrative to note that the listeners (Peter, the disciples, and we) easily identify with the forgiven servant up to this point—the first half of the parable is our gospel story and we understand it clearly
So Peter, the disciples, and the others that are gathered there are listening to this story. It's an incredibly simple story up to this point. It's one they could probably easily grasp and understand what Jesus is saying. They're probably a little bit amazed at the king's response at this point. The king forgives the debt. Notice also as well that the servant actually never asked to be forgiven. He's asking actually, "Just give me a little bit more time and I'll come up with the 10,000 talents." The king knows the servant can never repay, and even though the servant hasn't asked to be forgiven, the king has mercy on the poor servant and forgives his debt. And that's our story as well. We readily and easily can identify with the servant in this story up to this point. We recognize the similarities between his story and ours. We have come to Christ and been forgiven for all of our sin. Salvation was a gift. It was a free gift given to us by God. And we're tracking with the story 100% at this time. I get it. I got it. I understand what's going on. It's rather obvious to us as I'm sure it was to to Peter and the disciples as well. God forgives us just as the king had forgiven that servant because he had mercy and compassion on him. And up to this point, this is our story.
17 · Introduces the parable's second movement: the forgiven servant immediately turns violent toward a fellow servant who owes him a comparatively tiny debt (100 denarii vs
But Jesus isn't finished. He continues on. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. That's about 100 days of wages. And he sees him and he begins to choke him. Maybe he's got him in a headlock or some kind of chokehold, and he's yelling at him saying, "Pay what you owe. Pay me what you owe me." He's demanding payment of that 100 denarii.
18 · Names the congregation's instinctive moral outrage at the servant's behavior—his refusal to forgive after being forgiven so much is absurd and infuriating
So we read this part of the story and now we can think this is just outrageous. What's going on in this guy's mind? He's just been forgiven 10,000 talents, 200,000 years' worth of wages, and now he's demanding, beating out, wanting to beat out of his fellow servant 100 days' worth of wages. We can shake our heads very easily and think, "What an idiot. Can't he just recognize what he was just given, the gift he just got?"
19 · Pivots the identification from comfortable to uncomfortable: the servant we now despise represents the Christian who accepts unlimited forgiveness from God but refuses to forgive others—a mirror showing the congregation their own unforgiveness
But stop and consider who that servant was, the one who was just forgiven the 10,000 talents. We just identified with him. And now, a few minutes later, he's doing something crazy and outrageous. Do we still want to identify with him? We should, because he represents now the Christian who has been offended by a fellow believer, who's been sinned against maybe by a family member or by a fellow brother or sister, but is not willing to forgive. We are happy to take all of God's forgiveness that He's willing to dole out to us. We have no problem accepting that. We gladly accept God's forgiveness, not just 7 times, but 77 times, unlimited forgiveness that we have in Christ. And when somebody offends us, we want to get them in a stranglehold. We want to seize them and say, "Pay me back. Pay me what you owe me." And we go about our business holding grudges and seeking vengeance.
20 · Contrasts the two servants' situations: the second servant's debt was actually repayable (unlike the first servant's), yet the first servant refused mercy and imprisoned him—a response radically different from the king's mercy
Verse 29, "So this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me and I will pay you.'" The second servant makes the same request that the first one had before the king. There's a big difference here. He says, "Have patience with me and I can repay you." The big difference is this second servant can probably pay back the 100 days' worth of wages. It wouldn't have been easy, it wouldn't have been something he could have done in a couple of months, it may have taken a year or two, but 100 days' wages is something that we can actually get our minds around and say, you know what? He probably could have paid back that 100 days' wages given enough time. However, the first servant would have none of that, and his response was far different than the response of the king. Verse 30 says, "He refused, and he went and put him in prison," his fellow servant, "until he could pay off the debt."
21 · Forces the uncomfortable identification to remain by admitting that despite our moral revulsion at the servant's behavior, we often do the same thing—holding grudges and seeking revenge when sinned against
And those listening to Jesus tell this parable including us, instinctively knew that something is wrong here. This isn't right. So do we still want to identify with that first servant, the guy we now think is foolish in his response to his other servants? Probably don't want to be identified with him any longer if we had a choice. But the truth is that too often many of us, myself included, will fall into that same attitude when someone sins against us. We want to hold grudges. We want to seek revenge, we want to seek vengeance, and we're slow to forgive.
22 · Narrates the parable's resolution: witnesses report the servant's behavior to the king, who summons the servant back in anger (illustrated with a personal anecdote about parental discipline to heighten the emotional gravity)
Fortunately for the second servant, there were a number of witnesses who saw all that had taken place. They went back to the king and reported to the king what had taken place, what had happened. It says, "Master, do you remember that first servant, the one that you forgave 10,000 talents? He just went out, found a fellow servant who owed him 100 denarii." And when the fellow couldn't pay it back, he had him thrown into prison. Again, that number 100 is so small that that second servant probably could have paid it back given just a little bit of time. Upon hearing this, the king's servant summons that first servant back, and he probably used his full name. When I was younger, when I was in trouble, I could hear my mom and dad "David Allan Quiller, get in here." And if I heard it that way, when they used my first, my middle, and my last name, I knew that I was in for a tough time. I had done something really, really bad, and I was about to get called on the carpet for it. And I have no doubt that the king was doing that something that same, like, "You servant, da, da, da, da, da," using his full name, said, "Get in here now." He calls him back in.
23 · Exposits the king's rebuke of the wicked servant and declares that unforgiveness among believers is an outrage—the king's expectation (and God's expectation) is that those who have been forgiven will forgive others, not as an option but as a requirement
Servant returns and the king addresses him and he says this, he says, "You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servants as I had mercy on you?" He calls him now. 'You wicked servant.' Within the family of God, among the children of God, within the body of Christ, within the body here at Providence, a lack of forgiveness toward any other believer who has sinned against us is nothing short of an outrage. If we have been willing to accept God's forgiveness towards us, and then we turn around and refuse to forgive someone else that sins against us, That is an outrage. The expectation of the king was clear. "When I forgave you and you went out and encountered another servant who owed you something, who had a debt to you, I expected you to forgive him." It wasn't an option for the servant, it was an expectation that the king had. And when the king— when that servant didn't follow through on that expectation, the king called him back in to account for now for his actions.
24 · Synthesizes the parable's theological lesson: experiencing God's forgiveness makes extending forgiveness to others mandatory, not optional
So one of the basic expectations from this parable for us is that for us who have experienced God's forgiveness, who experience God's mercy in mighty and powerful ways, it becomes mandatory. It's the expectation that we too will grant that same forgiveness to others. And in anger and wrath, we're told the king delivered him over to the jailers until he could pay all his debt.
25 · Delivers the parable's climactic warning (verse 35) and emphasizes its gravity: God will treat unforgiving believers the same way the king treated the unforgiving servant
Then Jesus gives us the key to understanding this parable. Jesus turns to Peter, he turns to the disciples and all those who are listening, and in verse 35 he says this, and we need to hear this, we need to hear this: So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Jesus is clear here and He leaves no doubt as to the moral of this story. You're going to be in trouble with God if you don't forgive. So if you're here this morning and there's someone who you've been unable to forgive, you need to read this parable again. You need to read that warning again. Pay close attention to the actions of the king and his response to his servants. Look at what the servant did. In response to the grace that he had been shown, the forgiveness that he had been shown, and listen to that warning that Jesus gives at the end of the parable.
26 · Reinforces the parable's warning by cross-referencing Matthew 6:14-15 (the Lord's Prayer's attached warning) to show that Jesus's teaching on the consequences of unforgiveness is consistent and repeated across the gospel, making the threat non-negotiable
The "so also" that begins this verse is a connection back to the wrath of the king as he dealt with that unforgiving servant. Forgiveness and mercy are essential aspects of the kingdom of God, and those who do not or will not or cannot show mercy and forgiveness should not expect God to show them much mercy and forgiveness as well. So Jesus issues a stark warning here to anyone who cannot forgive another brother from the heart. God will do the same to us. The topic of forgiveness or the lack of forgiveness, it's an important topic in the New Testament. This isn't the only place that we find a warning like this. In Matthew 6, if you go back a few chapters to Matthew 6:12, Jesus gives a very similar warning for those who can't and don't forgive. It's at the end of the Lord's Prayer. In the prayer Jesus taught us to pray, His disciples to pray, "And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors." Then He issues a warning very similar to this one in Matthew 18. In chapter 6, verses 14 and 15, "If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." 'But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.' This warning is the same one that Jesus gives in Matthew 18. If you don't forgive others, God won't forgive you. We need to hear these warnings. They should cause us to consider carefully our interactions with others when we've been offended, we've been sinned against. If we can't and won't forgive them, forgive others, there are dire consequences for that behavior.
27 · Issues the sermon's most direct and uncompromising application: no sin committed against you—slander, theft, hurt—justifies unforgiveness, because all sins against you are infinitely smaller than your forgiven sins against God
I don't know how to sugarcoat these warnings that Jesus gives, and I don't even want to try to. Here's the bottom line, and I may be out on a limb here. It doesn't matter what someone has said to you. It doesn't matter what they have done to you. It doesn't matter if they slandered you. It doesn't matter if they've offended you, if they've lied to you, or how much they may have taken from you. Doesn't matter how much they have hurt you, we have to find it in our hearts, the ability to forgive them. And here's why, 'cause the sin that was committed against you, that slander, that gossip, that hurt, those offenses, they pale, they pale in light of the sins that you have committed against God for which you've been forgiven. And if God can forgive you for all of your sins, We need to be able to find it in our hearts to forgive others for sins that are much smaller and much lighter in scale to our sins against our Heavenly Father. So if God can forgive us, which He has, if you've confessed Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you have to be able to forgive the one who sins against you.
28 · Steps outside the argument to address pastoral concern: Jesus is not asking believers to pretend their pain is not real or to forget their hurt—the emotional wounds are genuine and may take time to heal, but they do not nullify the command to forgive
Not trying to explain away or excuse the hurt, that you may experience at the hands of another, the hurt, the pain, it's real. We don't want to try to ignore that. Jesus is not saying ignore that or forget about that. Those pains are real. They hurt. They may take a long time to get over. They may be hard to deal with. To pretend that they're anything less would not be wise. Jesus isn't asking us to forget about the pain and the hurt. I don't want to minimize those things at all.
29 · Delivers the sermon's diagnostic climax: inability to forgive reveals a failure to grasp the gospel—specifically, failure to understand the enormity of one's own sin against God and the magnitude of Christ's suffering to pay for it
But if you can't forgive that person, even in the midst of the hurt and the pain, the bottom line is I think you've failed to grasp the fullness of what the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about. You haven't grasped the seriousness of your sin to a heavenly, holy, and righteous God, the enormity of your sin before God. Makes these other sins against you pale in comparison. You haven't grasped the significance of what took place on the cross on your behalf, the humility, the embarrassment, the pain, the punishment, the wrath, and the heartache, the gut-wrenching pain that Jesus endured on the cross in our place, the wrath of God that He drank when God turned His face away. Jesus endured all of that on the cross on our behalf so that our sins could be forgiven, so our debt could be paid. All for us. You can personalize that. All for you. All for me. So God has forgiven us far more than we are ever going to be asked to forgive others for. And if we can't do that, We need to ask ourselves the question, how real is the cross to me? How real is the gospel? We have to forgive because not doing so just isn't an option for us.
30 · Acknowledges the human inability to forgive in the flesh but declares that born-again believers have the Holy Spirit's power to forgive—forgiveness is not self-generated but Spirit-enabled, making it both possible and mandatory
You know, you may feel like you can't forgive someone on your own, and that's true. But we don't live in the flesh anymore. If we've been born again, we live in Christ, and now we have the power through the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to forgive people for what they've done to us. It's not reliant on ourselves. We are born again. We've been given a new spirit, a new life in Christ. And through that, we can, we must, and we have to be able to forgive.
31 · Establishes the pervasive necessity of forgiveness: every human relationship will involve sin, making forgiveness the only mechanism for relational survival
Forgiveness is critical in our lives. Most relationships that don't end well likely end not because of the sin that was committed, but because there's a lack of forgiveness for that sin. 'Cause we're unwilling to forgive someone who sinned against us. We can recover from any violation, from any breach if we're willing to forgive. But where there is no reconciliation, often you will find, if not exclusively, you'll find a lack of forgiveness somewhere in that mess. Among those who are Christians in the fellowship of God's people, this is absolutely unacceptable. Unforgiveness is a sin. Serious sin that needs to be taken seriously and dealt with seriously. Individual families break up, relationships break up, churches break up. The truth is there isn't any relationship that we will experience as humans, whether it's to our spouse, to a parent, to a child, to a fellow believer, to unbelievers, we all encounter relationships where there's going to be sin involved in those relationships. We are going to be sinned against. At some point in our lives, multiple times, not just once, multiple times in our lives. There's no relationship that we are in where sin at one point or another won't enter into it. Whether it's, again, in our marriages, a family, friendship, Bible study within the church, we can't survive without being able to forgive others. I'm going to need it, you're going to need it, everybody who's related to anyone, everybody who interacts with anyone, at some point in time, you're going to need to be able to forgive them for some offense. So we need to live in an environment where we are constantly willing to forgive others. It should actually be one of our highest joys. It should be a delight to be able to forgive someone else for their sin. Knowing that we have been forgiven as well by Christ for our sins against a holy God.
32 · Contrasts fallen man's instinct for revenge with the radical forgiveness of Jesus and Stephen, both of whom forgave their executioners while dying, illustrating the countercultural and supernatural character of Christian forgiveness
But forgiveness, however, is foreign to fallen man's nature. What is consistent with the fallen man's nature is anger, hatred, vengeance, retaliation, holding grudges or grievances. It reveals itself in lifelong friends who no longer speak to each other. It shows up in our culture of lawsuits where where accidents are seen as an opportunity to get rich quickly. It shows up in the high divorce rate in our culture. It shows up in strained relationships between siblings and parents and children. But God expects his people, those who have been forgiven, to be like Jesus, who hanging on the cross said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they're doing." Or Stephen, while he was being stoned, cries out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." He's being killed and he asks God to forgive those who are killing him. Both Jesus and Stephen are dying horrible deaths, and yet in the midst of that, in the midst of the pain and the suffering, the agony of that, they cry out and ask God to forgive those who are killing them. That's the attitude that God expects from us, the one that God's image bearers are expected to have.
33 · Commands forgiveness regardless of whether the offender repents or is reconciled to God, clarifying that forgiveness is unilateral and primarily frees the forgiver's own heart from bitterness and enables loving pursuit of the offender
We are to forgive every sin that's committed against us. Because God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven every sin that we've committed against Him. We should hold nothing against the person who has wronged us, whether he has settled his sin with God or not, whether he's settled his sin with us or not. I need to forgive. The restoration of that relationship may not come immediately, but forgiveness frees up our own hearts from any grudge and desires for revenge. And it allows us to pursue our brother and sister with love and compassion.
34 · Returns to the Matthew 18 church discipline context to establish that reconciliation is the goal of confrontation and forgiveness, then clarifies that not every offense requires formal forgiveness—only genuine sin—urging the congregation to avoid hypersensitivity to minor slights
Now, certainly, this is the attitude that's implied in the discipline process in Matthew 18. We go to the sinner, we confront them, the sinner repents, and we're told that we gain our brother back. And that's it. It's very simple. Gaining our brother back is reconciliation. It's the end goal. When we've been sinned against. It's the whole idea behind the process described here in Matthew 18 is reconciliation between two believers. And this is to be unending. There are no limits on this. There's no boundaries on this. It's relentless. It's endless. It's constant reconciliation, constant forgiveness. Now, not everything needs forgiveness. Remember in Proverbs 19 that we are encouraged to overlook offenses. So not every hurt requires forgiveness, not every little annoyance needs forgiveness, and not every little slight is actually a sin. So let's not be thin-skinned here and let every little thing get to us. Things that need forgiving are morally evil, sinful things. We need to be able to tell the difference between the two. When Jesus talks about forgiveness, it's in the context of sin. In the context here in Matthew 18, it's sin. The context in the Lord's Prayer was sin.
35 · Names the inevitability of offense in every relationship and urges the congregation not to be shocked when it happens, framing mutual offense as normal and expected rather than catastrophic
The reality is, we're going to offend someone in our lives. I'm going to offend someone in my life. You're going to offend someone in your life. Maybe I'm going to offend you. Maybe you're going to offend me. We're going to offend people that we love, people that we treasure. People that we hold near and dear, someone in our family, a dear friend. It doesn't matter, it's going to happen. We shouldn't be shocked when this happens. We are told that it's going to happen. We should not run around expecting it to happen every other day, but we shouldn't be offended, we shouldn't be shocked, sorry, we shouldn't be shocked when it happens. It's going to happen in our lives. We've all experienced it. We will continue to experience it.
36 · Casts a congregational vision for Providence to excel at forgiveness—not counting offenses, but moving from forgiveness to affection—and offers concrete pastoral counsel for those struggling: pray for the offender and ask the Spirit for power to forgive
But let's be— I want us as Providence Community Church to be a body of believers who excel at extending forgiveness. Let's not be a people who continue to count sins against us. 71, 72, 73, 74. Let's not be those kind of people. So let's not be willing to forgive just 7 times or 77 times or 7 times 70 times. I want to be a generous forgiver, a forgiver who goes from forgiveness then to demonstrated affection. And if you're having trouble forgiving someone, I'd encourage you to begin by praying for that person. Pray for them on a regular basis, asking God to forgive them, asking God to give you a heart to be able to forgive them, asking God that will help you to grasp the debt that he forgave you, to fully comprehend that, and asking the Holy Spirit to be able to help you to be able to forgive the one who has sinned against you.
37 · Casts the congregational vision for Providence as a paradoxical church where sin is confronted seriously (Matthew 18 discipline) but forgiveness is extended generously, making it the best place to sin because confession leads to immediate, loving restoration
We aren't a perfect people here at Providence. I hope that doesn't surprise anyone. We're far from it. We don't have We're not perfect leaders at Providence, far from it. But let's be eager to forgive. Let's be a reconciling community, a group of people who embrace and forgive and try to forget and set aside the sins and the offenses that we're gonna commit against each other. I hope, my hope and my prayer is that there will be kind of a little bit of a paradox here at Providence Community Church. On the one hand, I want our church to be a place where sinning is not comfortable. Because you're going to be confronted with that sin. We're going to take Matthew 18, the church discipline process, seriously. We're going to go to each other and confront them with their sin. And I hope that people do that lovingly. I hope that we're lovingly confronted and corrected. On the other hand, I want this to be the best place to sin because when you confess your sin and repent, we're going to be a congregation of people who are going to be quick to forgive each other for our sins and our offenses. That we will be quick to embrace each other, to continue to love each other, extend forgiveness, and embrace forgiveness as a church. That's what we've been called to do as God's people at Providence. We've been called to extend forgiveness and mercy to those around us who sin. God expects us to apply our experience of divine forgiveness to our relationships with others, and to show forgiveness and mercy and to do it without end. And we are to do this even when we feel they don't deserve our forgiveness. It's a servant who was forgiven 10,000 talents, didn't deserve it, and we don't deserve it as well. We didn't deserve to be forgiven by God, but amazingly, we have been forgiven by God in Christ Jesus.
38 · Synthesizes the sermon's thesis in closing: believers have been forgiven in full, making unforgiveness a serious sin
If you're here this morning and you've confessed Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you have been forgiven. All of the debt that you owed. Because of that, failing to forgive the sins committed against you by other believers is a serious transgression on our own part. A basic characteristic or trait of a disciple of Jesus Christ is a willingness to forgive. Jesus is clear and he's unequivocal about that in this passage. Forgiveness needs to be the goal that we are always striving for as believers in our relationships with others.
39 · Closing prayer asking God to help the congregation realize the enormity of their forgiven debt, rejoice in their reconciliation, and extend that same forgiveness to others without holding grudges or seeking revenge
Let's pray. Lord, we come this morning, and Lord, we realize, and if we don't realize, I pray that you would help us to realize the incredible debt that we have been forgiven. Our sins before a holy and righteous God were immense. They were at a level so high that there was no way possible, there is no way possible for us to ever work them off or to receive forgiveness for them short of Jesus Christ taking on our sins on the cross, suffering and dying, receiving your wrath in our place. Those sins were punished in Christ. Because of that, we've been forgiven. Jesus did for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. Lord, that should bring joy into our hearts. Lord, if there's anything that we would be joyful about in this life, It's knowing that we stand before a holy God forgiven. We've been reconciled to God, and we don't have nothing to fear. There's no condemnation for us. We don't have to fear judgment. We don't have to fear hell. We look forward to eternal life with our Lord and Savior. And Lord, because of that, Because of that alone, Lord, we should be willing, we should be quick and eager to forgive those who have offended us, those who have sinned against us. So Lord, we ask this morning that you would help us, help us to be a forgiving church, one that doesn't hold grudges, doesn't seek revenge, but is willing to extend forgiveness. To those around us. In Jesus' name.