Kindness

December 23, 2024 Pastor Chris Oswald
Thesis Christians should cultivate active kindness toward others as a response to and reflection of God's overwhelming kindness to us in the gospel.
Series
Type
Topical
Tone
Method
What's in this sermon

The shape of the argument

24 units across exposition, application, illustration, theological claim, and conclusion. The pastor's argument is built from these moving parts.

Pastoral correction · unit #15
"Applies the hard-side-of-kindness principle specifically to the men at Providence. The pastoral instruction is to grow in gentleness by calibrating the hard word to the minimum force necessary—like a surgeon, not a sledgehammer. Patience is presented as essential to kind confrontation because it allows multiple gentle conversations rather than one violent one."
Doctrinal loci· 5 surfaced
Ethics / Moral Theology · 5 Providence / Sovereignty · 5 Sanctification · 5 Pastoral Theology · 4 Christology · 2
Bible citations· 21
Psalm 23 | Exodus 34:6-7 | Psalm 2 | Micah 6:8 | Proverbs 21:21 | Ephesians 5 | Proverbs 11:17 | Ephesians 4:32 | Genesis (Joseph narrative) | Book of Ruth | 2 Samuel (David and Mephibosheth narrative) | Psalm 119:75 | Proverbs (general reference to discipline) | Galatians | 1 Corinthians | Proverbs 27:6 | Romans 8:32 | Ephesians 2:4-7 | 1 Corinthians 15 | Romans 12:21 (paraphrase) | 2 Corinthians (Paul's teaching on affliction)
Illustrations· 1
  1. personal story · unit #21 — Uses a neighborhood tragedy as an illustration of how crisis can awaken kindness—people responding to evil by intentionally choosing kindness as a cultural weapon. The story demonstrates the power of kindness to create community cohesion in response to darkness.
Theological claims· 5
  1. Christians should be kind because God commands it, promises blessing to those who practice it, and has shown us overwhelming kindness in the gospel. unit #6
  2. Experiencing life's fragility and recognizing God's sovereign preservation produces the conviction that everything we have is from God, which is foundational to generous kindness. unit #9
  3. God's affliction and discipline are expressions of His kindness—He is always working for our good even when He is not being 'nice,' and failing to discipline is actually hatred rather than kindness. unit #13
  4. God's kindness is an eternal, infinite attribute that will require forever to explore—we need resurrected bodies simply to endure the steady stream of kindness God will lavish on us throughout eternity. unit #17
  5. You cannot be a chronically busy person and a consistently kind person—kindness requires margin, slowness, and the conviction that other people's needs are as important as your schedule. unit #20
Quotations· 1
"Great God, my maker and my King of thee I'll speak of thee I'll sing, O thou hast done, all thou hast done, Declare thee good, proclaim thee just the ancient thoughts, Thy ancient thoughts and firm decrees, Thy threatenings and thy promises, the joys of heaven, the pains of hell, what angels taste, what devils feel, Thy terrors and thy acts of grace, Thy threatening rod and smiling face, Thy wounding and thy healing word A world undone, a world restored While these excite my fear and joy, While these my tuneful lips employ. Accept, O Lord, the humble song, a tribute, the tribute of a trembling tongue." — BO (unit #1)
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0 · Opens the podcast episode by identifying the topic (kindness), the speakers (Chris Oswald and Dov Cohen), and transitions to a hymn reading that will frame the theological context

Foreign. Welcome to the Providence Podcast. My name is Chris Oswald, senior pastor of Providence Community Church. Today we are going to be talking about kindness. Talking about kindness today. Dov Cohen is joining me, obviously his idea. And we'll go ahead and jump right into a whole discussion on biblical kindness. Hello, dove. Hey, Chris. Kindness, kindness, kindness. Would you bless us with kindness with the hymn.

1 · Dov reads a hymn about God's justice and goodness that establishes the theological framework: God possesses both severity and kindness, threatening and healing, wounding and restoring

Thank you. I will. I will give you the kindness of a hymn. This one from BO the justice and Goodness of God. Again from the Gatsby hymnal. Great God, my maker and my King of thee I'll speak of thee I'll sing, O thou hast done, all thou hast done, Declare thee good, proclaim thee just the ancient thoughts, Thy ancient thoughts and firm decrees, Thy threatenings and thy promises, the joys of heaven, the pains of hell, what angels taste, what devils feel, Thy terrors and thy acts of grace, Thy threatening rod and smiling face, Thy wounding and thy healing word A world undone, a world restored While these excite my fear and joy, While these my tuneful lips employ. Accept, O Lord, the humble song, a tribute, the tribute of a trembling tongue. That's beautiful.

2 · Connects the hymn's theological framework to the sermon's focus by noting that Jesus himself embodies both God's kindness and severity, serving as both judge and redeemer

Yeah. I was thinking about on Sunday how we were talking about Jesus came into the world primarily to do this act of creation, to make a new creation. But of course, Simeon tells Jesus, this is one who is destined for the rise and fall of many. And there is the kindness and severity of God. There's the justice and there's the mercy, and that Jesus was an instrument of both of those things. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll be talking about kindness today. So that's a great lead into that.

3 · Frames the discussion by inviting personal reflection on experiences of kindness

So I just. I just think kindness is such a virtue and such a. It can be such a blessing to people, and ultimately it's a reflection for the Christians, a reflection of the kindness of God towards us. I'll be talking about all that stuff today. So I appreciate you letting us jump on and do a podcast about this. To start out, Chris, what is the kindest thing someone's ever done for you? Or who is the kindest person you've ever met? The kind of thing someone's ever done for you or kindest person you've ever met? You. I don't know, man. You gave me this outline and I. I have been thinking about that. I honestly think that. And see, I know what you're going to say. You're going to make me look bad, but that's not hard to do. I. You know, I think that I would say that I just grew up around. I had a Lot of people in my life that were very kind. And I think that there was a time when that was more of a culturally insisted kind of vibe. And I grew up in that world where there were a lot of kind people. It surprised me when I would encounter someone who wasn't kind. And so I can't think of just one. The first person that came to my mind was just a Sunday school teacher who I remember he seemed to my little boy brain to be enormous. You know, he kind of looked like Mr. Clean. This is back in the late 70s. He wore like the, you know, all denim, all the time, Right. Like denim vests. I remember that he was bald. Yeah. And he would give. We give us kids, like, silver dollars, things like that. But he would just kind of patrol the church. It's kind of a big church, probably a thousand. And he would kind of control. Patrol it, looking just for ways to help be kind and so forth. And I remember when he died. I was still pretty young when he died, but I just remember everybody felt this huge sense of loss. There was this man who just kind of was always taking care of people. Yeah. There's my example. Dove. Tell me yours.

4 · Provides the theological and linguistic foundation for kindness by defining it as distinct from mere niceness—it is active commitment rooted in God's chesed (steadfast love)

So I'm going to go with Christine. And you could say it's cliche. You know, it's my wife. Cheat points. But. But I really do mean it. I got three reasons why she's the kindest person I've ever met that I know. Number one, she's thoughtful. Number two, she's generous. Number three, she's loyal. So story on our second date, we're going to walk around Philadelphia, and we're living on the east coast at the time. It's our second date, and I had put all of these different places that we wanted to see in Philadelphia in my Garmin or, you know, my. My gps. I plugged it all in, had the. The whole day planned, and I show up and she's like, dove, like, you don't need that. Like, I know the whole. The whole city. It's fine. And she. She didn't like. She, you know, make fun of me, busted me. It was. It was. It was funny. But she was very kind about it. And then she also admitted that she knew how much I appreciated history, and that was the reason why she. She wanted to and agreed to go on a date walking around Philadelphia with me just to show me and let me see all the historical sites of Philadelphia. So appreciate how thoughtful she was there. She's also. She's generous. She loves to give gifts to people that they'll appreciate is very thoughtful with that as well. And she's just loyal to people like you can really trust. If you say something to her, she's going to hold it in confidence. She's, she's anti gossip and she's very loyal. So Christine would be the most, the kindest person that I've ever met. Very good, Very good. Cool. So why don't you define it? Yeah. So what is kindness? So going into, I've got, again, I've got a long definition and a short definition. So today we're talking about beyond niceness. We're not talking about niceness here, we're talking about kindness, which is. They're two quite different things. So long definition for kindness, it's more than politeness or friendliness. It's an active commitment to love, mercy and service borne through and cultivated by God's kindness to us. It's an active commitment to love, mercy and service born through and cultivated by God's kindness to us. Short definition, it's a desire to help others. It's a desire to be a blessing to others. So that's my definitions of kindness. Anything you want to add there or. No, I mean, I think that one of the things that shines through and compared to niceness and a lot of other things is kindness kind of does something. It's an action, it's not just a. Well, not just. Yes, it's an active commitment. So some word study background in the Hebrew and the Greek, you've probably all heard this word before, but chesed from the Hebrew, its meanings are mercy and loving kindness. I think you mispronounced that. Chesed. It's chesed. Okay, Correct. I gotta correct the Hebrew on his Hebrew, chesed. It's chesed. No, it's het. Sed. Yes, thank you. Yeah. So what does it mean? So it means mercy, loving kindness, steadfast love, compassion, goodness, loyalty and faithfulness. So it's a really big three dimensional word that we're gonna, you know, we'll unpack Exodus 34:6 to 7 real soon about being part of God's nature. But chesed, the just the mercy and loving kindness, steadfast love of God and then can be acted out on the human plane as well. And then we got the Greek, Christodes. You can correct me if I got that. Got the Greek right. There's no God. Or ironically, you got that one right. Nice, nice. So that just means good, kind, gentle and benevolent. And that is the most used Greek word that I was able to find. Christoes for kindness in The New Testament. In the Old Testament. In the New Testament. And like I said, this is in the very nature of God. So Exodus 34, 6, 7, it says the Lord passed before him, him being Moses, and proclaimed the Lord, the Lord, a God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. That's, that's the chesed and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who know by means clear the guilty is the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children, children to the third and fourth generation. But really the focus there is just the steadfast love of God. When, when God passed before Moses, he said, I am a kind God. Yeah. That's probably top five most important theological words in the Old Testament. Sure. I mean it's, it's one of God's chosen premium words to describe himself. Yeah. It appears all over the Old Testament. Yeah. Which is just. It's great to know that we've got a God who is kind, steadfast love. I listened to a sermon today just about how God is plotting good for us. You know, think of Psalm 23. The Lord is my shepherd, shall not want. His goodness and mercy shall follow me all days of my life. You know, that, that follow me is the pursuit of. The pursuit of us with kindness, with goodness, with mercy. Yeah, let's. Good stuff.

5 · Chris steps outside the flow to address the congregation directly about the challenge of living as politically aware Christians in a moment of revealed conspiracies

Let me pause there for a second because it's funny, you know, we're in this moment where all the conspiracy theories turn out to be true, you know, and essentially what's going on typically is behind a conspiracy theory, people are working in the background to accomplish something. And it's like we're just in this particular moment where you look around and you just see evidences of things that would have been called conspiracy theories three months ago that are, that are true now. Sure. And it is a real challenge to be a socially or socially politically aware of online Christian, you know, ingesting all the stuff that we ingest. And remember that the conspiracy is the divine conspiracy. Yeah. God, our Father of the universe, is conspiring, working behind the scenes for our good. Yeah, yeah. In. In a, a union of his sovereign power and his kind intention. He is working for our good. So it's just important. I'm glad you brought up that idea of working in the background because we're kind of being exposed to a bunch of black pill information that I think a lot of it is true. Of course not all of it is true. But fine, fine and good. We have a pattern for that. Psalm 2, why did the nations rage? Why did the kings of the earth conspire and plot together? We have a Bible, we have a verse for that. But that same verse tells us that God was using their conspiracies to accomplish his own conspiracy, which was to bring his son into the world, have his son killed for our sins, and so on and so forth. So I think it's just a moment to remind ourselves that, you know, yeah, there's lots of conspiracies out there. The big one is that the God of the universe took on flesh, dwelt among us, lived a perfect life, died for our sins, and rose again. Now reigns at the right hand of the Father and is working all things for the good of those that love Him. That's kind of the important, most important conspiracy. That's, that's very good.

Where this fits

Recent preaching context

The three sermons immediately preceding this one in the preaching schedule.

Dec 12, 2024
Believers should establish a daily practice of communing with God through Scripture and prayer—not to earn acceptance, but because they are already accepted in Christ—and this practice, when approached through the gospel with practical structure and flexibility, becomes the primary means by which God strengthens, corrects, and guides His people.
Dec 15, 2024
The church, as the Father's gift to the Son, exists to display God's glory through the unified assembly of diverse believers who enter through Christ and together form a dwelling place for God's presence.
Dec 22, 2024
Jesus came not simply to relocate people from one family to another, but to create a fundamentally new kind of human being — people born of God with a transformed nature who live as children of the Father.
December 23 · This sermon
Kindness
Christians should cultivate active kindness toward others as a response to and reflection of God's overwhelming kindness to us in the gospel.
Take it further

Discuss · apply · pray

Small-group discussion

6 questions for your group this week

  1. The sermon emphasizes that kindness requires margin and slowness. What does your current schedule actually reveal about how you prioritize other people's needs relative to your own commitments?
    → Can you identify one relationship or person in your life right now toward whom you sense you've been unkind simply because you've been too hurried to notice their need?
  2. Chris taught that experiencing life's fragility—recognizing how much we depend on God's sovereign preservation—fundamentally shapes our capacity for generous kindness. What season of vulnerability or dependence have you walked through that shifted how you view what you have?
    Psalm 23
  3. The sermon presents God's discipline and affliction as expressions of His kindness, not His cruelty. How does that claim challenge or reshape the way you typically think about God's 'no' or His corrective hand in your life?
    Psalm 119:75
    → Can you think of a time when what felt like hardship from God actually proved to be kindness—something He was doing for your good?
  4. According to the sermon, kindness is not primarily about being 'nice'—it's about noticing people's actual needs and acting on what you notice. What's the difference between being a nice person and being a kind person, from what you've observed in your own relationships?
  5. The gospel reveals that God has already shown us 'overwhelming kindness'—He gave us Christ and holds nothing back from us. How should that specific reality—that we are already the recipients of infinite kindness in the gospel—reshape what we give away to others this week?
    Romans 8:32
    → What would it look like to let your awareness of the gospel's kindness actually empower a concrete act of kindness toward someone in your life?
  6. The sermon addresses men specifically, calling them to deliver hard words 'surgically' rather than violently—with minimum necessary force. Beyond the context of confrontation, what does 'surgical kindness' look like when you need to tell someone something difficult or unwelcome?
    Ephesians 4:32
Draft · pending review
Daily readings · Monday–Friday

5-day reading plan

This week we trace how God's kindness—commanded, sovereign, and eternal—reshapes our lives from the inside out, compelling us toward generosity, margin, and attentiveness to one another.

Monday Exodus 34:6-7

Here God reveals Himself to Moses as 'the Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.' This is not kindness as a momentary gesture but as the very character of God Himself—infinite, inexhaustible, and woven into His eternal being. We cannot fathom the depths of such kindness in our mortal frame; it will occupy our worship forever.

Tuesday Psalm 23

The psalmist's confession—'The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want'—flows from the deep truth that God actively tends and preserves our lives through every valley and shadow. When we grasp that our very breath, sustenance, and safety rest in God's sovereign hand, gratitude displaces the illusion that we are self-made or self-sufficient. This humble recognition of our dependence is the soil in which generous kindness takes root.

Wednesday Psalm 119:75

The psalmist declares, 'I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.' Kindness and affliction are not opposites in God's hands; His discipline proves His love because it conforms us to Christ and protects us from destruction. To refuse to discipline those we love is actually hatred masquerading as niceness—true kindness sometimes cuts, but always for redemptive purpose.

Thursday Ephesians 4:32

Paul writes, 'Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.' Our kindness is not aspirational moralism but gospel response—we are commanded to extend to one another the very forgiveness Christ lavished on us at infinite cost. The command flows from the gift; we are kind because we have been overwhelmingly, undeservedly shown kindness in the gospel.

Friday Proverbs 21:21

The proverb states, 'Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.' But pursuit requires time, space, and availability—a hurried person cannot notice the widow's empty table or the friend's downcast eyes or the colleague's trembling voice. This week, examine your calendar: what margin have you protected for the slow work of attention and care that kindness demands?

Draft · pending review
Pray together this week

A Prayer for Kindness and Margin

Father, we come before you in awe of Your infinite kindness—an eternal attribute so vast and inexhaustible that we will spend forever exploring its depths, and yet You lavish it upon us now in Christ (Romans 8:32). We confess that we often live as though our schedules matter more than the people around us; we rush past one another, too hurried to notice the needs written on the faces of those we encounter. We acknowledge our hardness of heart when we deliver correction with unnecessary force rather than surgical precision, and our blindness to the specific, concrete ways we might serve those You have placed in our care.

Yet in the gospel we have been shown overwhelming kindness by our Lord Jesus, who gave His life as the ultimate expression of Your tender care for us (Ephesians 4:32). His sacrifice humbles us and fills us with gratitude, compelling us to respond with grace toward one another. We are not left to our own devices; the Holy Spirit gives us power to slow down, to pay attention, and to act with measured gentleness in all our dealings.

We ask You, O God, to grant us the conviction that every person's needs matter as much as our calendars (Micah 6:8). Give us margin in our lives—space to notice, to listen, and to respond with kindness both large and small. Teach the men among us to grow in gentleness, delivering hard words with minimum necessary force, patient rather than impatient. Help us together to remember that everything we have comes from Your sovereign hand, and that we are merely stewards of Your goodness, called to reflect Your kindness in how we treat one another. To this end, we commit ourselves afresh to the pursuit of kindness, knowing that in doing so, we pursue You.

Draft · pending review
Sunday-evening family table

The Kindness We Cannot Rush

For the parent

This prompt invites your family to reflect on a concrete tension Chris raised: that busyness and kindness cannot coexist. The goal is to help kids (and adults) see that noticing people and slowing down are not luxuries—they're the soil where real kindness grows.

Think about someone at church or in our neighborhood who seemed lonely or sad this week. What would it have taken for one of us to actually notice them and do something kind—not something big, just something real? What got in the way?
Works for ages 8+; younger children can listen and offer simple observations with gentle prompting
Draft · pending review
Couples · three questions over coffee

Kindness: Margin, Notice, and Grace

  1. What aspect of God's kindness—whether His provision, His discipline, or His patient attention to you—most stirred your heart as you listened, and why did it resonate?
  2. Where do we as a couple need to slow down and create margin so we can notice and respond to one another's real needs rather than rushing past them?
  3. What is one specific way each of us can pray for the other to grow in gentleness and attentive kindness this week—and what might that look like in our daily life together?
Draft · pending review
Memory verse this week

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Why this verse: This verse captures the sermon's central claim that Christian kindness flows from the gospel—we are kind because God has shown us overwhelming kindness in Christ, and this gospel foundation compels us to extend that same kindness to one another. It binds together the theological imperative (God commands kindness), the motivational source (God's kindness in the gospel), and the practical expression (being kind to one another in community).

Draft · pending review
Where this was preached

About the church

Providence Community Church
Lenexa, KS
Sundays · 10:00 AM
About us · What we believe
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# Providence Community Church

A church preaching expository sermons through the books of the Bible.

## Sermons
- [How to Commune with God (2024-12-12)](/ProvidenceLenexa/sermons/2024/12/how-to-commune-with-god)
- [The Messiah's Gift (2024-12-15)](/ProvidenceLenexa/sermons/2024/12/the-messiah-s-gift)
- [New Men for the Messiah (2024-12-22)](/ProvidenceLenexa/sermons/2024/12/new-men-for-the-messiah)
- [Kindness (2024-12-23)](/ProvidenceLenexa/sermons/2024/12/kindness)

## About
- [About the church](/about)
- [Plan a visit](/visit)

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