And oh my goodness, most of the kids are already lined up. If your kids are going to children's ministry this morning, they can line up in the back. And feel free to take your time. Just— this is the first day, so lots of kids are figuring out what does this mean. I'm not usually supposed to go with strangers and so on and so forth. But they will be walking down to the chapel to enjoy a time of children's ministry. John and Alyssa are leading that today.
Our text today is what our text was last week. It's the first few words really in 1 Corinthians 13:4. You know, it's kind of funny, we talk about different styles of preaching and expositional and topical and so forth. And what's interesting is that, you know, if I were to open up 1 Corinthians 13 and over the next hour go word by word and say, okay, God says in His Word that love is patient, what does that mean? And love is kind, what does that mean? And so forth. If I were to go through that within an hour's time and say, well, was that an expository sermon? He'd say, well, yeah, yeah, you, you worked your way through the text. It's like, well, what if I did that over 6 weeks' time and for one sermon talked about love and then another sermon talked about patience and another sermon talked about kindness? Is that still expository preaching? It's like, yeah, it is. It's just over an extended period of time. And so what we're doing And our time together in 1 Corinthians 13 is just looking very seriously at what Paul, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, says is love. And what we saw last week was that love was patient. And today what we'll see is that love is kind.
And here's my experience as I work through the definition of love as provided, or the description of love as provided in 1 Corinthians 13.
All right, so I've had this daydream in my head for a long time, like more than 10 years, that I would like to learn how to box. All right, so I was a wrestler in high school, wrestled a little bit in college, and I've always had this thing, I'd like, oh, I think I would really like to learn how to box. But I also had this thing in my head that I'd probably be pretty good at it. I was probably a natural, you know. And I think I, I don't know why I thought that. I mean, I've been in some fights in high school, unfortunately, but somehow this idea idea that I was not only that I wanted to do it, but that I think I might be kind of good at it, had just stayed in my head forever. And of course, I just was always too busy and never really had the time or the money or the opportunity to really figure that out. It's not like you can walk down to, you know, like the Title gym or something. That's just, you know, that's like aerobic boxing. I'm talking about like boxing boxing, you know, and there aren't many of those kinds of gyms around. So I've just always had this idea that I would like to learn how to do it, and then always this idea that I'd probably be pretty good once I tried. Well, finally, just recently, there was a gym that I discovered is near my house that's actually an Olympic boxing gym. It's where some of the Olympic qualifiers have trained and so forth from this area, and there's a few professional boxers that work there and so forth. And so I had to kind of man up to my constant, you know, fantasy, right? And be like, okay, well, am I going to be the kind of guy who just goes another 10 years thinking about boxing, or am I going to be the guy who signs up and goes learns how to box? So I went, and here's the thing, I was really way worse than I could have imagined. I was, I was exceptionally bad. My teacher was not a good teacher, I will say that, mainly because he's the kind of teacher who, when you're doing it wrong, just looks disgusted. You know, it's like disgusted with you because you don't know what you're doing. But for 90 minutes, I had this little young man just scream at me for 90 minutes about how terrible I was and how like, man, I could not do— just once it actually got into the realm of definition of science, boxing is called the sweet science. Once it actually got into that realm of actually doing things that you're supposed to do, I was exceptionally bad. So now I have to decide. I haven't been back since. I almost died. I almost died for real. Like, you're not— your heart rate's not supposed to go up to what it went up to at my age. So now I have to decide, and I haven't decided yet. And no, you can't pester me about this. Leave me alone. Uh, I have to decide, like, am I interested in learning this now that I know I'm not good at it, or was the was the feeling that I might be good at it a part of why I wanted to do it? And right now I'm kind of leaning toward, I'm still interested, but don't hold me to that. Like, that's the big question.
Well, I think most people think of themselves as being fairly loving people. I think we go through our lives assuming that we are fairly good at love. That we are, generally speaking, loving people. But then we drop into a text that is explicit about what love is, and it's sort of like me walking in after 10 years of fantasy land, walking into someplace where they actually do it, and they do it at a high level. And maybe this idea that I'm a loving person, maybe that's not so true as I open up God's word and actually look at what God's word says about what love is.
And that's difficult because some of us are not so young, and it would be a relatively existential crisis kind of event for us while examining the nature of love to be humble enough to say, well, goodness, I've been walking around for a long time with an illusion. I thought I was more loving than I actually am. But I think that would be very good for us also It'd be good for us because it would humble us, but more than that, it would be good for us because it's good to be a loving person.
6 · Explicit transition marking the shift from introduction to the main exposition, reiterating the text and focus word
So today we're thinking about this second qualifier, the description that Paul puts in 1 Corinthians 13, which is love is not only patient but it is kind.
7 · Opening exegetical move establishing a biblical principle from wisdom literature that kindness leads to blessing and a bright future, supported by two Proverbs texts showing that kind people benefit themselves while cruel people harm themselves
And I think one of the most interesting things that I see in Scripture about kindness is that people who are kind have a bright future. People who are kind have a bright future. Proverbs 11:17 says, a man who is kind benefits himself. But a cruel man hurts himself. There's an interesting discussion the other day about psychopathy that I overheard, and it was the one of the descriptions of someone who's a really— someone who's kind of a constant jerk winds up eventually being a jerk to themselves too. And so there's this idea built into these promises about kindness that a kind person will benefit themselves. Proverbs 21:21 says Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor. So you have this phenomenon, especially in the Proverbs, describing people who are kind as having an especially bright future.
8 · The preacher answers his own question about why kindness leads to blessing by establishing the first reason: God is watching and will reward according to what is sown, citing Galatians 6 on sowing and reaping and Romans 2 on God's judgment according to works, with kindness identified as fruit of the Spirit
And I'm like, well, why is that? Why does someone who is kind have a bright future? Well, first of all, immediately brought to mind Galatians 6. Galatians 6 says, do not be deceived, God will not be mocked. For whatever a man sows, he reaps. And he goes on to say that if you sow into the flesh, you'll reap corruption, but if you sow into the Spirit, you'll reap eternal life. And we know from Galatians 5 that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Verse 9 in Galatians 6 says, let us therefore not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. And then he goes explicitly into kindness in verse 10. He says, therefore, if we have an opportunity, let us do good to everybody. Especially to those who are the household of faith. So one reason, I guess, why kindness has— kind people have a bright future is because God is watching. You know, Romans 2:7 says, to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give them eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury. So one reason why kind people have a bright future is because God's paying attention. Don't be deceived, you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the flesh, you'll reap corruption. If you sow into the Spirit, you'll reap eternal life. And if you by patience in well-doing seek for glory, honor, and immortality, God will give you eternal life.
9 · The preacher introduces a second reason why kindness leads to blessing through Barnhouse's observation: kindness proactively leads to obedience even without explicit command, illustrating with a little girl who was kind to animals before being told the Bible commanded it
There's another interesting reason, and I discovered this in an old Donald Barnhouse commentary. Long since passed. And he described a little girl that he knew who was, in his estimation, the most kind person he knew. And he said that she was just so obviously kind to everyone that she would meet, and not only to people but also to animals. And he told this little girl that the Bible actually said that you're supposed to be kind to animals. And she thought that was really sweet that the Bible said that, but she did not need— she didn't say this, but Barnhouse observed, she did not need for the Bible to say that in order for her to know she should be kind to animals. In other words, she was already obeying the Bible simply because she had chosen the path of kindness.
10 · Drawing out the theological implication from Barnhouse's illustration, the preacher argues that kindness functions as a proactive guard against breaking God's commandments because kind people wouldn't commit adultery, murder, or theft since those acts harm people, thus explaining the second reason why kindness leads to blessing
And then he goes on in his commentary— I think it was a commentary on Romans— he goes on to describe the law, the Ten Commandments, and he says, you know, if you were just kind, it would never cross your mind to commit adultery. Because there's people involved. Well, it might cross your mind, but you wouldn't do it because there's people involved. You'd be unkind to them. It wouldn't really necessarily need to be told to you to not murder if you were just committed to kindness. Stealing is defrauding your neighbor. You wouldn't think to do that because you're aimed for kindness, and so you wouldn't break these commandments from God. And so one of the interesting things about kindness is that it actually just sets you on the path to obedience in a proactive way It just causes you to do the right stuff and avoid the wrong stuff. So kindness has this incredibly bright future.
11 · The preacher uses quotations from two poets to illustrate that kindness leaves a profound mark not through heroic acts but through ordinary daily expressions, proposing a simple bedtime question for self-examination
There was this— okay, get this— old frontiersman in Australia, policeman, horseman, and poet. Come on. His name was Adam Lindsay Gordon, and he said it well. He said, life is mostly froth and bubble. Two things stand like stone: kindness in another's trouble and courage in your own. Kindness really does make this deep imprint, and it's not so much the kind of heroic kindness that you, that you would put a monument up for. It's the kind of kindness that just kind of overflows in daily life. This is the basic question I think you could probably safely live the rest of your life asking when you go to bed. Go to bed, Lay your head down on the pillow and ask, 'Was I kind today? Was I kind? Was I a kind person today?' I know Wadsworth is another poet, not nearly as cool, super lame compared to this Australian dude, but he writes this poem just remembering this beautiful walk that he took and how he was just sort of awash in nature and how beautiful it was. And then he says that he wonders if walks like that made him a better man. And he says that the best portion of his life, the best portion of a good man's life, is his little nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.
12 · Brief theological correction and pivot from human poetic observation to divine source, establishing that all kindness originates from God through both common and special grace, serving as a bridge to the next major section examining God's kindness
Wadsworth was crediting nature for that, but I mean, we would credit God for that. Kindness comes from the Lord. The Lord is kind. If kindness is happening anywhere on the face of the earth, it's because it is channeling out of, I suppose you could say, the great river, the great ocean of God's kindness. That God, through His common grace and His special grace through the Holy Spirit, is pouring out His kindness into the world.
13 · Major expositional move establishing God as the definitive source and standard for kindness, citing Psalm 145 and Piper's doxological reflection on the amazement that the sovereign Creator is kind, then explicitly framing the interpretive method: to understand kindness in 1 Corinthians 13, we must look to God's character
Psalm 145:7 says, the Lord is kind in all of His works. The Lord is kind in all of His works. John Piper, in one of his books, it's the book on regeneration. It's called Finally Alive. He writes, the bigger your conception of God, the more amazing this is. God is the creator of the universe. He holds the galaxies in being. He governs everything that happens in the world, down to the fall of a bird and the number of your hairs. He is infinitely strong and wise and holy and just, and amazingly, he is kind. So when we get to 1 Corinthians 13 and we're told love is patient and love is kind, it's like, well, what is patience? Well, we got to go ask God because God is God is the source of all of these virtues. And what is kindness? We don't ask Wadsworth or even the Australian cowboy poet. We look to God and say, God, what is kindness? Show me your kindness so that I can know what kindness is.
14 · First of three major kindness texts examined
And there are really, I think, 3 texts in the New Testament that put God's kindness out just out front in a very clear way that we could be instructed from. And the first one is Luke 6:35. Luke 6:35 is the companion to Matthew 5 at the end, where Jesus talks about loving your enemies. Listen to how Jesus describes enemy love in Luke 6:35: But love your enemies and do good and lend, expect nothing in return, and your reward will be great. You will be sons of the Most High. And here's the, here's the insight on God's kindness: for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. So we're just building right now, we're building kind of a database or a vocabulary of kindness, of divine kindness. And Luke 6 is a good one because it reminds us that God is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
15 · Second major kindness text examined
Well, there's another companion text in Matthew. We'll look at this later, but in that text it says that God causes the sun to shine and the rain to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous alike. There's another great kindness verse in Titus chapter 3, beginning in verse 3. I'll just read it. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration, the renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace, we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. I think that phrase, verse 4, but when the kindness, the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, that'd be a good Christmas text. Someone want to preach that on Christmas? Be a good Christmas text, because when Jesus came and took on flesh to walk among us, the goodness and loving kindness of God appeared. That's a beautiful text to think about God's kindness. The first one's good about thinking about God's kindness and common grace. He causes the rain and the sun to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous alike. God is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. That's a good text, Luke 6:1, for thinking about God's kindness and common grace. But this is a good text thinking about God's kindness and special grace, saving grace. He came in his kindness to save us from our sin.
16 · Third and climactic kindness text examined
And then there's a third kindness verse. It's my favorite. Ephesians 2:4-7. But God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Here's the part that I like. I mean, I like all of it, don't get me wrong, but 7: so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. So let me help you see how cool this is. That Luke passage, you might say, is God's kindness in creation. And that Titus passage, he came to save us in his kindness, that's sort of God's kindness in salvation. But this Ephesians 2 passage is that God will show his kindness in a saved creation. This is about heaven, the new heavens and the new earth. And God will— God's agenda— what's God— we always ask, what am I going to do in heaven? And if you have a disembodied, unbiblical vision of heaven where you're just floating around a cloud and you don't even know how to play a harp and don't want to know how to play a harp, you're just missing it. And I mean, I can understand why Maybe you don't even really like being a Christian. You're just missing what the Bible actually teaches about heaven. Heaven is a new created reality. It's referred to as the new heavens and the new earth. You will have a physical body prepared explicitly for the sake of enjoying God and God's gifts forever. You'll have a marvelously recreated body prepared beforehand for him By Him. And hell, you'll have a body for that too, but let's focus on the good news. So Ephesians 2 is telling us that our future— we always ask, what are we going to do in heaven? Will there be golf in heaven? Some of you are asking that question. It's like, okay, fair enough. By the way, the answer is yes. You can— yes. The better question to ask, the one that will grab you by the back of your neck, causes little hairs to stand up, is what will God be doing in heaven? And Ephesians 2 says that the sovereign Creator with unlimited resources, imagination, and love for all of eternity will be showing the people in heaven how kind he is. That's amazing. You think, well, okay, I'm still having trouble grabbing that. Here's another way, maybe this will help you. Eden, the Garden of Eden, paradise. Sounds pretty good. Sounds pretty good. Like, if you know about it, it sounds pretty good, you know, a fraction of what the new heavens and new earth is. But Maybe it would help you to realize that Eden, the word for Eden means pleasure. It means luxury. So the last time we saw God create a place without sin, it was called luxury. So what will God, don't ask what you'll be doing in heaven, ask what will God be doing in heaven? God will be doing what Paul says he'll be doing. In the coming ages, he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
17 · Explicit structural signal marking the pivot from exposition of divine kindness to application of human kindness, previewing the sermon's applicatory structure
So let's think now. So we've sort of built a, I guess you could say, like a glossary of God's kindness and thought about God's kindness a little bit. Let's make some observations about God's kindness and then sort of draw some applications, like if God's kind in this way, how should I be kind, and so on and so forth.
18 · First major characteristic of divine kindness established: proactivity
And the first thing I think you could say is that God's kindness is proactive. God's kindness is proactive. In all of these texts, it is God who acts first. Someone the other day asked me, what is Calvinism? And I tried my best to give a definition that was accurate and user-friendly, but you might just say that the definition is God acts first. That's the definition. God acts first. And in each one of our texts, we see that it is God who is taking action, and it's action that we did not deserve to be taken.
19 · Hypothetical illustrations showing two opposite errors regarding God's kindness (denial and presumption), with the ironic observation that God is being kind even to both groups through common grace — illustrating the proactive nature of divine kindness
I was thinking about how I sometimes talk to people who don't know Christ, and they don't think that God is kind at all, and they don't realize that God is actually being kind to them even right now. Even to give them a definitional understanding of kindness requires that they know it or have some idea of it. So there are certain people who don't think that God's kind at all, and he's being kind to them right now. And then there are other people who just assume that all— that's all God is, and God's just like this grandfather who always has $20 when you need it, and God is just like— that's all he is, is just this permissive giver. He's just happy you're— he's just happy you're thinking about him. So they're really presuming upon God's kindness. And I was thinking about how God is kind to those people too. So there are people who don't think God's kind and God's being kind to them, and then there are people who are presuming upon God's kindness and God's being kind to them too.
20 · Definitional clarification distinguishing kindness from mere justice or obligation, establishing that kindness by definition must be undeserved and proactive
God's kindness, because it's proactive, it's not waiting for us to deserve it. In fact, that wouldn't be kindness. If God just gave us what we deserve, that's not kindness. You're just doing what you're supposed to do. If you're doing something, if you're paying someone for the work that they did, you're not being kind to them. You're just doing what you're supposed to do.
21 · Application of proactive kindness to marriage using sociological study data showing that reactive-only kindness (doing what is asked but not initiating) is the primary complaint in acute marriages, applying to both husbands and wives
So one thing to think about is God's kindness is proactive. It acts first. I came across— now let's talk about us in application. God's love is proactive, or God's kindness is proactive. So I came across this study somewhere, and it was reporting the number one— so they did a massive study of marital counseling notes, and they were all like, you know, names removed and so forth, and they just categorized it into men and women. And with the men's concerns or complaints about their wives, it was so diverse it was hard to actually nail down one thing. But what they found with women, especially as the acuteness of the situation increased— so these are marriages that seem most likely headed toward divorce, in fact— the number one complaint of women was that their husbands had a very reactive view of kindness. What does that mean? That means that they would say, my husband will do what I ask him to do. If I ask him to do something, he'll do it. But he's never actively looking for opportunities proactively to do good. He's just always reacting, which of course is like a massive leadership failure amongst many other things. But that was— I think it was like 80% of all the really acute marriages. That was the primary complaint. Of women in those marriages. My husband is not actively looking for opportunities to be kind, to serve, and so on. If I ask him, he'll do it. And I kind of laughed when I read that. I mean, I think that's totally true, but I kind of laughed because men are also thinking that exact same thing toward their wives at a high rate, probably about 80%. About one specific act of kindness that they wish that they would initiate more often. So it kind of goes both ways. But you think about this idea and you realize that this is sort of key to kindness, not simply to wait to be asked, but to initiate, to seek out opportunities to, as Hebrews tells us to do. Consider daily how to stir one another up to faith and good deeds. So God's love is proactive. God's kindness is proactive.
22 · Second major characteristic of divine kindness established: practicality
And number 2, God's kindness is practical. This isn't just mere sentiment. This is action. God's kindness involves actual action taken in the world. It is not merely sentiment. The Greek word used for kindness Krestos, I believe it is, in 1 Corinthians 13 is a word that implies doing a good, useful thing. The word useful is key, doing a useful thing for another person.
23 · Application of practical kindness with direct confrontation of self-deception (thinking nice thoughts equals kindness) and clear instruction that kindness requires useful action
So some of us, again, with my boxing delusions, it's like, I think I'm probably pretty good at this. It's not so much. Some of us are delusional that we're kind because we think nice things about people. It's like, that's not what kindness is. Kindness takes action. It takes useful action for others. So if God's action, God's kindness is actionable, it takes action, it's practical. So my kindness should be practical. One commentary wrote, kindness should involve sacrificial concern, yes, and warm-heartedness, yes, but it should also concern active neighborliness, health-creating friendships, dirt-cleaning servanthood. God's kindness is proactive and it's practical.
24 · Third and most important characteristic of divine kindness: necessary pairing with patience
But here's a really big one, and this is coming through in our text in a very important way in 1 Corinthians 13:4. God's kindness is paired with patience, and it's necessarily paired with patience. 'Cause if it wasn't, it wouldn't happen. So when Paul says, 1 Corinthians 13, see, it feels so much like poetry. We're not sure how seriously to take the words and how much to dissect them. You read 1 Corinthians 13 and we're almost accustomed to it being read so often at weddings, right? It feels very Hallmark-like. I always feel like 1 Corinthians 13 is read a little too much at marriages and a little too less at intersections. But you know, it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4, love is patient and kind. And you're like, okay, what's— what is he doing here textually? And we'll get into this next week, but I think what he's— he's— one thing is clear is, is that patience and kindness are necessarily coterminous. They're necessarily conjoined. They must be together.
25 · Exegetical demonstration that patience is implicit in all three kindness texts examined earlier (Luke 6, Titus 3, Ephesians 2)
God's kindness toward us is always coupled with his patience toward us. And in those three big texts that I read that describe God's kindness, his patience is invisibly there. When I say that God is kind to the ungrateful and the evil, well, it doesn't explicitly say he's being patient, but of course, if he's not being patient, he ain't being kind to the ungrateful and the evil. And in Titus 3, when we say that the kindness of our God and Savior appeared, well, before that it said we were ungrateful and sinful and evil and rebellious. And their patience is precursor to the kindness. And then, of course, in that Ephesians passage, I didn't read the part, but a lot of you probably know at the beginning of Ephesians 2 says, 'We were once dead in our sins and trespasses, were by nature children of wrath.' So God's patience is there leading up to when His kindness appears.
26 · Theological synthesis establishing that patience and kindness are the bare minimum ingredients of love according to 1 Corinthians 13, with Romans 2:4 cited as explicit biblical support for the necessary pairing of these virtues
This is a very important point to see. That love is both patient and kind. And that at that line in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul is being explicit about the bare minimum ingredients, I guess you could say, in love. Love has to be both of these things: patient and kind. This comes forth explicitly in Romans 2:4, where it says, do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.
27 · Demonstrating the patience-kindness pairing from the nature of the gospel itself: God restrains wrath (patience) and pours out blessing (kindness)
But I think if you just thought about what the gospel is, the gospel being the chief act of love, you'd realize that, oh yeah, God's kindness and his patience, they have to be together. Because what is the gospel? What does God do for us in the gospel? Well, he restrains, he holds back, he's patient, he holds back his judgment upon us, his His wrath he holds back, he reserves, he's not provoked, and then he pours out. Pours out blessing, pours out goodness, pours out eternal life. There's a patience and a kindness to the gospel, inherent to the gospel, and apart from both of them you actually don't have the gospel anymore.
28 · Expanding the biblical-theological scope by tracing the patience-kindness pairing into the Old Testament through the Hebrew concept of hesed (covenant love/steadfast love), showing this is not merely a Pauline idea but central to God's self-revelation across the canon
And this idea of God's patient kindness is the number one idea, as far as I can see, related to God's love in the Old Testament. And it's translated into a word that some of you might know in the old Hebrew, hesed. And it just means unfailing kindness, long-suffering, enduring kindness. And this is the way God is described over and over in the Old Testament. And that means that he is both patient and kind, and that those two things are necessarily together.
29 · Core theological insight and indictment: patience is the delivery system for kindness
I think the way to think about it is that patience is the delivery system for kindness. And let me explain what I mean by that, because let's talk about us. Over the years, I couldn't help but notice a phenomenon that emerged where I would see that most of us Christians had two different categories of people: those we're being patient with and those we're being kind to. So we were not doing what God does.
30 · Extended diagnostic application unpacking the two-category failure
So what it seemed to me, seems to me, And I talked about this with a number of Christians this week, and they all seem to sort of agree, is that we have these two categories of people: those that we're patient with and those we're kind with. And here's what I mean by that. Those that we have to be consciously patient toward, that's all they get. They get our restraint, they get our withholding, they might even get our avoiding. They don't get our kindness. Does that click? Does that register with you? There's people that you're conscious that, okay, I need to be patient with this person. And when you have identified that person as someone you need to be patient with, it is not as if you are going around them actively seeking to show them kindness. Usually what patience means for us— this doesn't seem right— is that we simply tolerate, avoid, steer clear of. Don't say what we really want to say. And then there are people that we're kind to. And the people that we're kind to are the people we think deserve it, or at least don't deserve it. We're not explicitly kind to people who test our patience. And that would be, you know, I walked into the boxing store, so to speak, and realized I didn't even know how to throw the most simple punch, and it was extremely humbling. It's like, what if we realized that when it comes to love, we're not doing it right?
31 · First of three application scenarios for paired patience-kindness: people who annoy us
Because there's a whole group of people that we know that we're supposed to be patient with, and our solution to patience is avoidance or tolerance. Let's think about this a little bit more carefully because I just think it's something that could really have real power for the gospel's glory, Christ's glory in the world if we got this right. Certainly harder on us though. So let's think about the kinds of people who test our patience really quickly. There are the people who annoy us. I don't think I need to say much more than that. There are just some people who annoy us, and up until now, I think, before we start seeing that there's an explicit necessary connection between patience and kindness, what we do with people who annoy us is we exercise patience to them, with them, by just like not spending as much time with them. But here's the thing. Maybe you need to repent of that. Maybe you need to realize that if they're annoying to you, they're probably annoying to others, and that the one thing you could do to be kind to them is to spend time with them. Like, maybe that's the act of kindness, is to just be with them even when you don't necessarily want to. I thought about how, like, that even happens in a local church. Not everybody clicks at the same level. And I thought about, well, don't feel awkward if someone invites you to dinner for the first time this week. It's like, you've never invited me to dinner before. And then after the sermon, you suddenly want to spend time with me. OK, I see. But you know, there are just people that test our patience just because we find them annoying. And maybe the answer there is to repent of not so much the fact that they find us annoying, that might be entirely their fault, they might actually be annoying. But we might want to say, well, okay, I'm being patient with them, but am I being kind? Am I doing anything practically useful and good for them? Or is my love, a thing I think I'm loving about, just basically a clever strategy to avoid being provoked by this annoying person.
32 · Second application scenario: people who offend us
There are people who offend us, which is definitely worse than annoyance. You know, I was thinking about how I shouldn't need someone to agree with my beliefs in order for me to be kind to them. I should need my beliefs to tell me— my beliefs tell me that, right? So if I'm avoiding people who offend me, You know, maybe there's something that I think is rightly stigmatized, a behavior, a thought process, something I think is rightfully stigmatized, rightfully put in the category of wrong, and this person is just embracing that. They don't think it's wrong at all. That's offensive to me, and probably rightly so. So I— well, so what? All of a sudden I'm released? Am I exempt from the call to be kind to the ungrateful and the evil? No, I am not. And once again, in my book, a way to overcome this, very often it's the act of kindness. There may be actual practical things to do, but many times the act of kindness is to give them the thing that is most costly to me, and that is my time. So you've got people who annoy you and people who offend you, and you think you're being loving to them simply because you're being patient with Paul says, and the Holy Spirit says in 1 Corinthians 13, no, no, no, love is patient so that it can be kind. Kindness is the— patience is the delivery system for kindness. It's all over the gospel. God's patient with us so that he can be kind to us. It's like, oh, maybe I don't know how to box.
33 · Third and most challenging application scenario: enemies who would destroy us
But there's one final example. So we've got 3 categories here: people who annoy us, people that offend us, and there's another category, people who would destroy us if they could. And that's the category that Romans, or that Luke 6 and Matthew 5 are talking about, your enemies. There's a group of people that you're consciously being patient with who you know if they got the chance, whether they intentionally or unintentionally, would ruin you. They are actually your enemies. It's like, what do you do with that person? Well, I think in that case, it's probably not wise to spend time with that person. Richard Baxter, dealing with this very issue, writes, 'You may show him kindness,' your enemy, 'without putting a sword in his hand.' You may show him kindness without putting a sword in his hand. Well, if only the Bible had some indication on how I'm supposed to be kind to someone who would destroy me if they got the chance. It's like, well, that's what Matthew 5 and Luke 6 say. What do I do for my enemy? What does Jesus tell me to do for my enemy in Matthew 5, for instance? You have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies. What is love? Love is patient and kind. And pray for those that persecute you so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust. So what the answer is for kindness, so far as it pertains as it pertains to your enemies is to pray for them. We're so conditioned to think of prayer as an insufficient action when oftentimes, at least sometimes, it's the only action God approves of our taking.
34 · Narrative illustration from Acts 7 showing the power of prayer for enemies: Stephen's prayer for his persecutors was answered in Paul's conversion
So you've got people in your life that you knew that if you hung around with them, they would just actively destroy you, and see, that's not an option. They would actively destroy you maybe on purpose or maybe simply by temptation or some other reason, so spending time with them is not an option. How do you express kindness to those people? Jesus says to pray for them. And you could pray for them just like Stephen and Joseph, or Jesus did. Father, forgive them, they know not what they're doing. Don't count this sin against them, and so on and so forth. And by the way, there was one man present at Stephen's stoning for whom that prayer was answered. As Stephen was stoned to death and prayed, don't count this sin against them, There was one man who later could say, 'I was the chief of sinners, but God saved me because I acted in ignorance in order to show his kindness and patience and mercy toward me.' And that man was Paul, who went on to write 1 Corinthians 13.
35 · Comprehensive application statement synthesizing all three scenarios and establishing the test for genuine love: both patience and kindness toward those who test us
The point is, is that unless we learn to be both patient and kind to those who annoy us and offend us, and quite possibly even those who would destroy us, we can have no confidence that we are actually loving like God is loving. C.S. Lewis wrote it this way: The real trouble is that kindness is a quality fatally easy to attribute to ourselves on inadequate grounds. Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment. Thus a man easily comes to console himself for all his other vices by a conviction that his heart is in the right place. And that he wouldn't hurt a fly, though in fact he has never made the slightest sacrifice for a fellow creature. We think we are kind when we are only happy.
36 · Brief additional application addressing a different manifestation of the same failure: provisional kindness that evaporates when met with ingratitude
There's another category related to this coupling of patience and kindness, and that is that sometimes we're only kind toward people until we realize that they are ungrateful, and then we grow impatient with them. See also Luke 6.
37 · Fourth and final characteristic of divine kindness: pain
So that's the, that's the, that's the big application point, I suppose, for the whole message, or one of the big ones. And that is this necessary coupling of love and patience, or patience and kindness together to form love. But there's one other quality of God's kindness I think we should cover before we're done today, and that is that God's— so God's patience, what have we said so far? God's kindness is Proactive. God's kindness is practical. God's kindness is paired with patience. And number 4, God's kindness is painful to him. God's kindness is painful. What do I mean by that? Well, I mean mostly the cross, but we could also discuss Jesus's entire incarnation, which was never a walk in the park. Or we could simply refer to God's ongoing willingness since the day he created mankind to be grieved by something he created and chose to love. Kindness is painful. You know, you go through Isaiah 53 and you read the suffering servant, and you know what you're in for with a title like that. But if you just start listing all the things, all the hardships, all the pain attributed to Jesus in his ministry to save us— Titus 3 just says the kindness of God appeared. Isaiah 53 says when it appeared, it was very painful. And there are all these phrases that denote pain, the pain of kindness. He was despised and rejected. He had sorrow and grief. He was smitten and afflicted. He was pierced for our transgressions and crushed and chastised and wounded. And He had iniquity laid on Him. And He was oppressed and He was afflicted and He was cut off from the land of the living. And He was stricken for the transgressions of others. And He was crushed and put to grief and He was in anguish.
38 · Application of the pain principle with Lewis quotation on giving as test for genuine love
So maybe it's better that we just go on imagining that we're loving, because the real thing is painful. If the kindness of God caused him pain, we can be sure that our kindness in God's name will cause us pain. And that means that we don't get to act kindly towards someone right up to the moment it becomes painful, difficult, inconvenient, or uncomfortable. And then move on. That's not love. It's just not love. If we have the kindness of God working in us, we will experience the kind of pain that God felt, and felt deeply. So what— how do I know if I'm actually being loving? How do I know if I'm actually being patient and kind? It's like Well, let's talk about, does it hurt? C.S. Lewis was asked while he was commenting in Mere Christianity about giving, tithing, and so on, but it applies to all forms of kindness. And he just says this, 'I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I'm afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.' If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. How do I know if I'm being loving? If they do not at all pinch or hamper us, then I am afraid the answer is, it was all in my head.
39 · Pastoral interjection contrasting virtue signaling with costly Christlikeness, citing 1 Corinthians 13's 'more excellent way' as the standard
This is, this is what it means to be a Christ follower. I know there are so many temptations to simply plaster your virtue, your imagined virtue, on some social media wall for some cause and think that you have done something. But there is, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, a more excellent way.
40 · The preacher concludes by addressing two groups in the congregation: those already walking the painful path of love who need encouragement (callback to Galatians 6) and those who have failed who need repentance
And so for some today, I do believe this message is just what you needed to hear to encourage you to keep on the course you are already going. It's easy when you are trying to love like this to become discouraged. It is very easy when you are trying, when you are walking the painful road of godly love, to become discouraged. And so for some of you, I just pull you all the way back to the beginning of the message, to Galatians 6, and says you're going to reap what you sow. Don't grow weary in doing good. Keep it up. Redouble your efforts. This is really the only way to live. And then for others, the message might be troubling. You're not currently committed to living out the kindness of God. And maybe you thought you were. You have shrunk in on yourself. You have made your life more or less about you and yours. You are patient with aggravating people, but you are not kind toward them. And you are kind only to those who do not test your patience, and you are kind only to those who are grateful. Well, the key— there's a key for both groups. There's some people here who needed to be told, just keep doing what you're doing. It's— you're not doing it wrong just because it hurts. That means you're doing it right. And then there are others who need to be told, repent. And this table stands before you this morning as the key thing to think about in both cases. Because if you are in some manner even a little bit able to say, you know, by God's grace I am able, I am able to see that in some ways, maybe it's almost like God's forced you to, but you're able to say, you know, I am actually kind of living this life at least somewhat in this area. And I, well, if you, if you can see this as an identification marker of grace in your life, This table is to remind you that is not you. That is the Lord Jesus who died to save you from your sin and fill you with his Spirit and give you the grace to be patient and kind. And if you're here and you're hearing this, you're thinking, oh my goodness, I think I'm the most selfish creature in the whole universe, and come to this table and experience with absolute hope and confidence that God came to earth to free you from such small and meager ways and to give you His nature, to fill you with His Spirit, and allow the fruit of His Spirit to manifest in your life. In other words, identifying that you're bad at it is really just the first step. You can have every confidence that if you call out to the Lord and say, Lord, I repent of not being a loving person, please give me the grace to change in this area— this table is here to tell you that that has already been paid for, and that you will, in his time and through his Spirit, see his love abound in your life.
41 · Closing prayer rehearsing the sermon's major themes: the Lord's Table as reminder of the price paid, God's proactive love, practical blessings, eternal display of kindness, and Romans 5:8 on Christ dying for enemies as the demonstration of God's love
Let me pray for us. Lord God, thank you for your word, and thank you that we conclude by being reminded that this is the ongoing reminder presented before us in bread and wine of the price that was paid, not only to forgive us but also to help us to walk in the good works which you have prepared for us in advance to walk in, to become more like you, Lord, day by day, to become more loving like you are day by day. Lord, thank you. We conclude always, Lord, by celebrating your love which came first. Thank you, Lord, for acting first. Thank you for being patient with us. Thank you, God, for filling our lives with practical blessings and joys and experiences that show your goodness time and time and time again. And Lord, we look forward to the eternal glory that awaits us, where you will for all eternity show us your kindness. Thank you, Lord, for a clear definition of love that we see. For your word says that you demonstrated your own love for us, and that while we were still enemies, Christ died for us. We love you, Lord. Help us partake of this cup and this bread in faith. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
42 · Brief invitation to the Lord's Table for believers
So if you're a follower of Jesus Christ today, I really encourage you to come and partake of the Lord's table in faith, celebrating what he has done for you.