Why Can't I Just Do What I Want in Church?

1 Corinthians 14:26-40 June 2, 2024 Pastor Ricky Alcantar
Thesis When believers make the church all about themselves and reject God's authority over their lives, they create chaos rather than peace, but Jesus offers rest by calling us back to living according to His design for our good and His glory.
Series
Type
Expository
Tone
didacticpastoralpolemic
Method
grammatical-historicalcanonicalapplicatory
What's in this sermon

The shape of the argument

47 units across exposition, application, illustration, theological claim, and conclusion. The pastor's argument is built from these moving parts.

Pastoral correction · unit #29
"Direct application to men: the passage calls not only women to submission but men to faithful spiritual leadership. Identifies a common failure mode (passivity) that is equally damaging to God's design. Men are called to have spiritual conversations with their families, to lead imperfectly but faithfully. The application is concrete and personally convicting, addressing the other side of the authority issue."
Doctrinal loci· 12 surfaced
Ecclesiology · 25 Bibliology · 8 Pneumatology · 6 Sanctification · 6 Soteriology · 6 Christology · 5 Hamartiology · 5 Anthropology · 3 Ethics / Moral Theology · 3 Pastoral Theology · 3 Doxology / Worship · 1 Theology Proper · 1
Bible citations· 22
2 Timothy 3:16 | 1 Corinthians 14:26-40 | 1 Corinthians 14:26 | 1 Corinthians 14:27-28 | 1 Corinthians 14:29-31 | 1 Corinthians 14:32-33a | 1 Corinthians 14:26b | 1 Corinthians 14:33 | 1 Corinthians 12 | 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 | 1 Corinthians 11 | 1 Corinthians 14:29 | Genesis 1-2 | 1 Corinthians 14:34 | 1 Corinthians 14:36 | 1 Corinthians 14:36-38 | 1 Corinthians 15 | 1 Corinthians 1-2 | Matthew 11:25-27 | Matthew 11:28-30
Illustrations· 2
  1. hypothetical · unit #3 — Extended hypothetical scenario immersing the listener in the chaos of a Corinthian worship service, making vivid the disorder, factionalism, spiritual gift abuse, and social inequity that characterized their gatherings. The illustration creates emotional connection to the problem before theological exposition begins.
  2. personal story · unit #17 — Extended personal story illustrating the passive form of self-centeredness: emotional withdrawal when one's ideas are not adopted, even in ministry contexts explicitly aimed at serving others. The pastor's gentle confrontation leads to self-recognition. The story creates identification and vulnerability, modeling honest self-examination for the congregation.
Theological claims· 7
  1. The underlying problem Paul addresses in this passage is that every believer in Corinth had made the church all about them, and while our details differ, we face the same temptation. unit #4
  2. Paul's main point regarding tongues is simply this: it is not all about you, even if you possess a gift others admire. unit #8
  3. The tragedy of making church about yourself is that you end up hurting yourself because you are part of the body—mutual edification builds everyone up, but self-focus disorders the whole body and damages the self-focused person most of all. unit #16
  4. The mindset of "it's all about me" inevitably leads to the mindset of "no one can tell me what to do"—self-centeredness always produces rejection of authority. unit #21
  5. When you start with 'it's all about me,' you always end with 'no one can tell me what to do'—and the principle Paul confronts this with is that the Christian life is a submitted life. unit #34
  6. The tragedy is that we have a design from God, and disregarding it in any area—whether sexuality, marriage, money, or conflict—only hurts ourselves and others; 1 Corinthians 14 is about Pride Month because both are about the same human heart that says 'it's about me and no one can tell me what to do.' unit #36
  7. Jesus is not saying His teaching is easy, but that the crushing weight of living to please yourself, governed by no one, is far heavier than the liberating weight of living according to His design for you. unit #45
Quotations· 1
"you're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?" — Carly Simon (unit #4)
Read it

Full transcript

50,475 characters 47 units ~56 min reading time Listen instead →

0 · Establishes the authority, relevance, and usefulness of Scripture before reading a difficult passage, preparing the congregation to receive potentially challenging teaching with confidence that it is God's word and therefore good for them

This is God's word, but I want you to understand what that means. In two Timothy 316, the Lord says, all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. And what we mean when we say this is God's word is that this Bible is true. It is breathed out by God himself. It is the only truly true thing, in a sense, in the world around us. It also says that the Bible is always relevant, regardless of whether we read a passage of scripture and go, great, that connects with my life. It does connect with our lives if we will do the work of understanding it. And third, it reminds us that the Bible is useful. It does good things in our lives.

1 · Full verbatim reading of the primary text (1 Corinthians 14:26-40) after framing it with the introduction

And so with that in mind, in one Corinthians chapter 14, we're going to read verses 26 through 40. Let us remember as we read this is God's word breathed out by him, relevant in every moment and useful in our daily life. First Corinthians 1426. What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two, or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and be encouraged. And the spirits of the prophets are subject to prophets. For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the law also says. If there's anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. Or was it from you that the word of God came? Are you the only ones it is reached? If anyone thinks that he is a prophet or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. So my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy and do not forbid speaking in tongues. But all things should be done decently and in order. This is God's word.

2 · Brief prayer asking God to illumine the congregation's understanding of the passage just read, acknowledging dependence on the Holy Spirit for comprehension and application

And Lord, I pray that you would make it alive in our hearts. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see. In your name we pray. Amen.

3 · Extended hypothetical scenario immersing the listener in the chaos of a Corinthian worship service, making vivid the disorder, factionalism, spiritual gift abuse, and social inequity that characterized their gatherings

Well, imagine that you've got a friend that invites you to their church. It's the first time you've ever been there. And visiting church is always a little scary. If you come to church today and you were like, I'm not sure what's going to happen. And then I just read the passage, and it was like, women, you have to be quiet and never say anything. You're like, and there's tongues and other things. You're like, what kind of a church is this? Is this one of those churches? But imagine you arrive at a church, it's a little scary. Your friend finally convinces you to come after wearing you down. He's a coworker or she's a coworker. So you finally come. And you notice when you walk in that people, well, they're sitting in groups in kind of clicks in one side of the congregation. There's everybody wearing I love Apollos shirts, or Apollos is my homeboy shirts. The other section is people sneering at them, wearing I love Peter, the apostle Paul forever. The rock with a Peter, you know, picture of Peter's face, the original rock from 2000 years ago. And you notice that they're kind of jibe, you know, mocking each other, kind of jiving at each other. And the meeting finally starts and worship starts up. But right in the middle of the song, somebody stands up and says, I've got an impression. I've got a word from the Lord. And somebody says, don't listen to them. I have a better word. And the third person says, both of you be quiet. I have a tongue. And they just start shouting the tongue out in the middle of the meeting. And the elders are trying to work out what to do, and they're trying to bring order to the thing. And the person, you know, finally somebody, they go and order. One person shares a prophetic impression, and as the elders are trying to evaluate it because maybe it seems a little off, they need to bring some direction here. A lady just gets up and starts rebuking all of the men, including the elders, and telling them what to do and mocking them for not doing their jobs. And then another lady says she's got a word, but her husband is telling her, like, dora, stop doing this. You do this every Sunday. And she's like, shut up, Bob. I've got a word from the Lord. And then she throws off her head covering, which in, you know, in symbolic terms, that's. That's her symbol of being in the household of that man. So she just throws it off and is like, you sit here, Bob. I'm gonna go up there. And so Bob is, you know, like, oh, I don't know what to do. And so he. The lady marches up, and eventually the elders get control of the meeting again. But it's, you know, an hour into the service, and there's a whole group of people now that want to share their own tongue, their own prophecy, their own word. People just start sharing as they can, as they want to. It's not coordinated. It's not understandable. Finally, somebody brings out communion, and everybody goes, okay, okay, the meal time. The meal time. So they bring out the communion elements, and they would have brought with them a meal to eat with communion. So kind of think of it as a. An immediate during church potluck, sort of. And so some of the people bringing food, man, they've barely got an old kind of crusty piece of bread because it's the end of the month and they haven't been paid yet. And there's other people that are bringing in fancy bottles of wine and doing the little glass snifter thing, you know, oh, this is a good year, you know, and other people barely have enough to eat, and they've got a charcuterie board on the other side of the meeting. And finally the service ends, and you walk out and you go to lunch with your friend, and your friend looks at you eagerly and says, well, what'd you think?

4 · Identifies the root problem beneath all of Corinth's chaos: every believer made the church all about themselves

What are you gonna say? Probably nothing positive. And that is what it was like to go to the church in Corinth. The church in Corinth. Well, they've got a lot of issues, and Paul has been systematically working his way through and addressing a number of these issues. But one of the things that Paul does brilliantly in helping this church, and by the way, he planted this church, he's been overseeing and kind of counseling this church in seeing all of this chaos breaking out. He does not just simply say, do this, don't do that. Rather, he helps counsel them from principles in the word, right? And so while the details of what is going on in Corinth may be a little bit different than our gatherings, the principles Paul uses to bring, order, and build up this church, man, they are the same principles that we need. Problems do not change. There is nothing new under the sun. And here is, then, the underlying problem that Paul addresses in this passage. Every believer in Corinth had made the church all about them. They'd made it about them. It was all about them. That makes me think of that old Carly Simon song with the chorus, you're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you, don't you? Right. That is the theme song of the church in Corinth, and they are so vain that everyone there thinks the church meeting is about them. And while we may not be tempted in the same ways the Corinthians are tempted, we have the same temptation to walk into church, into small group, into dinner with other believers, into life, and to think it is all about me. I'm the focus of attention here, or at least I should be.

5 · Structural preview of the sermon's argument: two destructive mindsets will be identified and then one constructive mindset will be offered as the solution

So, two mindsets that are ruining the church, and then one very brief mindset at the end that might help it flourish. So two mindsets ruin the church.

Where this fits

Recent preaching context

The three sermons immediately preceding this one in the preaching schedule.

May 5, 2024
The Holy Spirit dwelling in believers changes them from the inside out by bringing experiential nearness to God, conforming them to Christ through sanctification, and empowering them to be witnesses who carry God's light into a dark world.
Acts 1:4-8
May 12, 2024
Christians are to receive all of Christ's gifts for all Christians to show all of Christ.
Romans 12:3-8
May 19, 2024
God's people have God's power for God's purposes—the same Spirit who empowered biblical heroes and the early church is present with us today to accomplish God's mission.
Romans 15:18-21
June 2 · This sermon
Why Can't I Just Do What I Want in Church?
When believers make the church all about themselves and reject God's authority over their lives, they create chaos rather than peace, but Jesus offers rest by calling us back to living according to His design for our good and His glory.
1 Corinthians 14:26-40
Take it further

Discuss · apply · pray

Small-group discussion

6 questions for your group this week

  1. In 1 Corinthians 14:26, Paul describes what should happen when the church gathers: each person brings something to build others up. What does it look like when that principle is honored in a healthy small group or church gathering?
    1 Corinthians 14:26
    → Now flip it—what happens when someone (including yourself) shows up primarily thinking about what you'll get out of the gathering rather than what you can contribute?
  2. The sermon identifies two ways we make church about ourselves: the active way (demanding to serve, dominating, using gifts as a platform) and the passive way (evaluating everything by whether we personally like it). Which one resonates more with your own tendency, and why?
  3. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 14:32-33 that 'the spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets. For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.' What is Paul saying about how spiritual gifts are meant to function, and what does it mean that they're subject to our control rather than controlling us?
    1 Corinthians 14:32-33
    → How does that change the way you think about your own spiritual gifts or talents in the church?
  4. The sermon claims that the mindset 'it's all about me' inevitably leads to 'no one can tell me what to do.' Do you see that progression in your own life or in the culture around us? Where does self-centeredness naturally lead?
  5. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30 that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. The sermon suggests that living according to God's design—in sexuality, marriage, authority, conflict—is actually lighter than the crushing weight of living for yourself with no one to answer to. What has been your experience of this? Where have you found that submission to God's design brought actual freedom?
    Matthew 11:28-30
    → Conversely, where have you felt the weight of trying to live on your own terms?
  6. If you were to evaluate your life this week in one specific area—your family, your work, your friendships, your church involvement—where are you tempted to say 'it's about me and no one can tell me what to do'? What would it look like to reorient that area around God's design instead?
Draft · pending review
Daily readings · Monday–Friday

5-day reading plan

This week we trace the arc of Paul's correction in 1 Corinthians 14: from the call to build others up, to the cost of self-centeredness, to the peace that comes through submission to God's design.

Monday 1 Corinthians 12

Paul's teaching on the body of Christ in chapter 12 establishes the foundational truth that our gifts are not ours to wield as we please—they belong to the body. When we understand ourselves as members of one another, not solo performers, we finally ask the right question: not 'Can I use my gift?' but 'Will my gift build up the person next to me?' This shift from self to others is the cure for the chaos in Corinth.

Tuesday Matthew 11:28-30

The crushing burden of 'it's all about me and no one can tell me what to do' is far heavier than we admit. Jesus does not promise an easy life, but He promises a *light* one—the weight of His design for us, carried together, is liberation, not oppression. In a culture that sells freedom as the absence of all constraint, Jesus offers something deeper: the freedom that comes from living as we were made to live.

Wednesday Genesis 1-2

When Paul anchors his correction about authority to creation itself (1 Cor. 14:34-35), he's not inventing rules—he's pointing us back to God's first Word about how we are to live together. Genesis shows us that God's design for male and female, for order and relationship, emerges from the heart of a good Creator who made us in His image. Rejecting that design is not liberation; it is rebellion against the One who loves us most.

Thursday 2 Timothy 3:16

The Corinthian church had descended into chaos because individuals were making their own preferences the final word. Paul's antidote is not his personal opinion but God's Word—the standard that stands above every person, every gift, every preference. When we submit to Scripture rather than to ourselves, we are submitting to the God who alone knows what makes us whole and what builds up His people.

Friday Matthew 11:25-27

Jesus—the one through whom all things were made—bowed His will to the Father's. If submission was the path Jesus walked, it is the path we walk. The heart that refuses all authority, that insists 'no one can tell me what to do,' is not moving toward freedom but away from the One who alone has the right to command us. And in that obedience, we find not loss but home.

Draft · pending review
Pray together this week

Prayer for a Submitted Life

Father, we come before you acknowledging that you alone are worthy of glory and honor in all things. Your design for us—in the church, in our marriages, in our bodies, in our relationships—flows from your perfect wisdom and your love for us. We adore you for calling us not into chaos but into the beautiful order of your kingdom, where each member serves the whole and all things build one another up (1 Corinthians 12).

We confess, O God, that we are prone to the same sin that disordered the church in Corinth: we make the gathering about ourselves. Some of us demand a platform for our gifts; others of us judge every moment by whether we personally enjoyed it. And beneath both postures lies the same proud heart that whispers, "It's all about me." We confess that this self-centeredness doesn't merely disrupt the peace of the body—it wounds us most deeply, because we cannot flourish when we are disconnected from your design (1 Corinthians 14:33). Forgive us for believing that freedom means doing whatever we want, when true freedom comes only through submission to you.

Thank you, Lord, that Jesus showed us the way—perfect submission to the Father's will, perfect love for those around him, perfect peace. And thank you that in his death and resurrection, he has freed us to live not for ourselves but for his glory and the good of his body. You have given us a design for our good, and in embracing that design, we find the rest we have been seeking all along (Matthew 11:28-30). We receive this gift with open hands.

Grant us grace this week, Father, to lay down our demand to be heard, to lay down our demand to be pleased, and to ask instead: What builds up the body? What honors you? What reflects the submission and love of Christ? Teach us to see our gifts not as stages for ourselves but as tools for the flourishing of those around us. And where we have rejected your authority in any area of our lives—in how we speak, how we love, how we understand ourselves—bring us gently back to your word and your design. We trust that your way leads to peace, not chaos; to life, not death.

To you, O God, be the glory in your church and in Christ Jesus forever. We commit ourselves anew to living as a submitted people, for your sake and for the sake of one another.

Draft · pending review
Sunday-evening family table

Who Gets to Decide in Our House?

For the parent

This sermon is about the tension between 'I want to do what I want' and living under God's design. The prompt anchors in Jesus's invitation to rest by submitting to His way. Listen for where your kids naturally resist authority—and use their answer to point them toward the peace that comes from trusting God's design, not their own impulses.

Jesus said His way isn't burdensome but actually gives us rest—it's lighter than trying to do everything our own way. Can you think of a time when following a rule or someone else's plan actually made things easier or better for you, even though you didn't want to follow it at first?
works for ages 7+; younger kids may need a specific example from their own week to get started
Draft · pending review
Couples · three questions over coffee

Submitted Together

  1. What part of the sermon made you most aware of places where you're still saying 'it's all about me' — either in how you approach church, or in how you live at home?
  2. Where in our marriage do we most easily slip into the mindset that 'no one can tell me what to do,' and how is that actually hurting us rather than freeing us?
  3. What is one area where you need your spouse to help you remember that God's design is for your good — and how can we pray for each other's submission to Christ this week?
Draft · pending review
Memory verse this week

1 Corinthians 14:33

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

Why this verse: This verse captures the entire sermon's pivot: the self-centered mindset that says 'it's all about me' produces chaos and confusion in the church, but God's design—submission to His authority and to one another—produces the peace we're actually seeking. It's the theological hinge that turns the listener from self-centeredness to Christ's liberating design.

Draft · pending review
Where this was preached

About the church

Cross of Grace Church
Plan a visit →
Crawler & AI-search policy · view robots.txt and llms.txt

This sermon page is intentionally optimized for search engines and AI assistants. We've opted into being crawled by both. The crawler-config files at the domain root:

/robots.txt
User-agent: *
Allow: /

User-agent: GPTBot
Allow: /

User-agent: ClaudeBot
Allow: /

User-agent: Google-Extended
Allow: /

User-agent: PerplexityBot
Allow: /

Sitemap: https://sermonsteward.com/sitemap.xml
/llms.txt
# Cross of Grace Church

A church preaching expository sermons through the books of the Bible.

## Sermons
- [What Does It Look Like to Carry the Fire of the Spirit? (Acts 1:4-8, 2024-05-05)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/05/what-does-it-look-like-to-carry-the-fire-of-the)
- [What About Spiritual Gifts? (Romans 12:3-8, 2024-05-12)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/05/what-about-spiritual-gifts)
- [Let's Go (Romans 15:18-21, 2024-05-19)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/05/let-s-go)
- [Why Can't I Just Do What I Want in Church? (1 Corinthians 14:26-40, 2024-06-02)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/06/why-can-t-i-just-do-what-i-want-in-church)

## About
- [About the church](/about)
- [Plan a visit](/visit)

The page itself ships with Schema.org Article + Church markup, Open Graph + Twitter cards for share previews, and a canonical URL. Transcripts are server-rendered HTML — no JS dependency for the readable body.