What If I Don't Like the People at My Church?
Thesis Christians must think about the church not as 'me' or 'them,' but as 'us' — united by the blood of Christ, bearing a corporate identity that supersedes all individual and factional divisions.
The shape of the argument
32 units across exposition, application, illustration, theological claim, and conclusion. The pastor's argument is built from these moving parts.
- historical example · unit #4 — The pastor tells the story of the 2008 USA Olympic basketball team — a collection of individual stars who arrived thinking only of themselves and their separate brands but were transformed by Coach K into a unified team representing something greater. This narrative sets up the sermon's central concern: how disconnected individuals become a unified body.
- personal story · unit #10 — The pastor tells the story of a man who optimized his Sunday morning experience by attending worship at one church and preaching at another, treating both as service providers rather than covenant communities. The illustration vividly demonstrates the consumer mindset — thinking of church as a product to be customized for personal benefit rather than a body to belong to.
- personal story · unit #23 — The pastor sends two children to the front doors of the church to discover what symbol is embedded there. The interactive moment builds anticipation and involves the congregation in discovering the church's architectural theology.
- historical example · unit #29 — The pastor returns to the Redeem Team illustration to close. The image of rival players standing on the podium, united under one flag, one anthem, one identity — despite the bad blood and rivalries during the season — pictures what the Lord's Supper does for the church. We don't cease to be who we are, but we are reminded of a more profound identity: sinners saved by grace, united with Christ, united with one another.
- Christians must think about the church not as 'me' or 'them,' but as 'us' — a unified body brought together by the gospel. unit #5
- The Corinthian disorder was preserved in Scripture because all Christians are tempted to arrive at church thinking only of themselves — a 'me-centered' mindset that blinds us to the needs and presence of others. unit #9
- The American church has imported consumer culture, treating church as a service center and ourselves as customers — a profound misunderstanding that produces factionalism and division. unit #11
- One of the unique challenges of our age is that online communities can supplant the flesh-and-blood local church as our primary identity group, which is deadly to biblical ecclesiology — our family must be the people physically around us, not digital strangers. unit #12
- The Lord's Supper unites the church through a common salvation — no one is beyond God's reach, and all are welcome to the table because salvation is by Christ's blood alone, not our deeds or pedigree. unit #16
- The Lord's Supper gives us a blood-bought identity that supersedes all other identities — we are Christians first, and because we are united with Christ, we are necessarily united with all who are in Christ. unit #18
- The cross on the church doors declares the exclusive way into the church (only through Christ's blood) and the universal invitation (all are welcome) — a truth reinforced every time we take the Lord's Supper, inviting non-Christians to repent, believe, and enter through Christ. unit #24
"Jesus' supper refers to a Passover meal. The Passover meal is a type, and the Lord's Supper is its antitype, meaning the Passover meal is the shadow. The Lord's Supper is the thing that casts the shadow back into the Old Testament. The Passover meal was both a sacrifice and a covenant renewal ceremony in which Israel remembered the Exodus and the old covenant that God inaugurated with the blood of the sacrificed animals. The Lord's Supper is not a sacrifice, but it remembers Jesus once for all time sacrificial death. It remembers him as our Passover Lamb, and it is a covenant renewal ceremony in which the church remembers Jesus' new exodus for his people and the new covenant he inaugurated with his bloody death and resurrection. When the church celebrates the Lord's Supper, it remembers Jesus' body and His death has inaugurated the New Covenant." — Andy Naselli (unit #17)
"The Lord's Supper is a precious memorial to remind people about Jesus' sacrificial death, but it is not merely a memorial. It conveys special sanctifying grace to Christians who eat and drink in faith because Jesus is spiritually present as his people fellowship with him and each other." — Andy Naselli (unit #19)
Full transcript
0 · The pastor establishes a playful, inclusive tone while explaining the children's activity and the basketball jersey theme
Awesome.
Alright, so kids, you should have received a— oh no, you haven't yet. So if you're an 8 to 12 year old, you get an activity sheet, or if you're just a parent that struggles to pay attention, you can take one as well. It's fine. Or single. We're not going to judge.
If you're 35 and would benefit from an activity sheet, that'd be great. And here's the deal, kids, as you get an activity sheet, If you fill this thing out and turn it in at the information table at the end of the service, you will get a prize. So there's something fun back there. There is one coveted Freddy the Moose cup that— it's our last cup in the church building. The last Freddy the Moose cup in the church building you can get today.
So fill that out, turn it in, and you get a prize at the end. And the other thing is— oh, I forgot it down here. We asked the kids to do jerseys for— because I'm going to talk about basketball in a minute. And so we asked kids to design us a jersey on the back for a bonus fun thing. And look at this.
This is one of the jerseys from the first service. It's got like— it's green. It's got mountains. It's got a tower. They've got my name, which I love.
And there's like some kind of gerbil with pom-poms. I love it. I love it so much. So We're gonna pick one person designing a jersey, and they're gonna win a bigger prize. But please do something we didn't do in the first service.
Put your name on it when you turn it in, because I have no idea who this is. So we're gonna be putting out like, do you know this gerbil? Is this a gerbil? Whose is this? So put your name on it, turn it in.
You might win a bigger prize that we'll give out next week. All right, and with that, let's open up God's word to 1 Corinthians Chapter 11.
1 · The pastor explains why children are included in the service — because the church is one body — and uses this as a launching point to call the congregation to consider church membership
And the kids are in the service this morning because we're moving into a new section of Corinthians where we're going to talk about what it means to be a church. And specifically what the Lord's Supper is when we gather as a church. And the reason I'm excited about this is that, as John said last week, we don't believe that there's a kids' church and an adults' church. We believe we're one church. And by the way, that's a wonderful reason. That very reason is why we encourage you, if you haven't already, to sign up and explore membership either at our church or at another church. We believe that every Christian is called to be a vital part of a particular local church. Just the way that when we— if you have a family, you don't believe in just, "I just believe in family as a concept." No, you're part of a family, right?
You don't show up if you, you know, play YMCA basketball and go, "I play basketball." No, you play basketball with this group of people. And it's a way of saying, "This is my team. This is my family." And prayerfully consider whether God is calling you to be part of this family and this team. It's a great season to do that.
2 · The pastor reads the entire primary text aloud, introducing the congregation to Paul's rebuke of the Corinthian church's divisions at the Lord's Supper, the institution narrative, and Paul's warnings about eating and drinking unworthily
So 1 Corinthians chapter 11, we're going to begin reading in verse 17. And as we read, let's remember this is God's team. God's very word. But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. For in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you, and I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. When you come together, it is not the Lord's Supper that you eat, for in eating each one goes ahead with his own meal.
One goes hungry, another gets drunk. What? Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you?
Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not. 4. I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when He was betrayed took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, "This is My body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of Me." In the same way also He took the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant in my blood.
Do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me. For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Whoever therefore eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person there examine himself then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself.
That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. If anyone is hungry, let him eat at home, so that when you come together It will not be for judgment.
About the other things, I will give directions when I come.
3 · The pastor prays for spiritual illumination, asking God to help the congregation see the profound significance of gathering as a church — a significance often overlooked
And Lord, we pray over your word this morning, give us ears to hear and eyes to see. May you help us as a gathered body to grasp what it means to do what we do every Sunday, to gather in a room with one another. It's far more profound than we so often think. Lord, open our eyes to see it. In Jesus' name, amen.
4 · The pastor tells the story of the 2008 USA Olympic basketball team — a collection of individual stars who arrived thinking only of themselves and their separate brands but were transformed by Coach K into a unified team representing something greater
Well, I grew up loving basketball. I grew up going to UTEP basketball games with my dad. Great memories of that. And so grew up cheering for the San Antonio Spurs and David Robinson and later Tim Duncan. And I had a favorite team, but I was also kind of captured by the old stories of the Dream Team back in the day. And I had the opportunity to see not the, not the Dream Team, but what's been lovingly called the Redeem Team of USA basketball. In 2004, at the Olympics, playing a sport that the United States invented, we failed spectacularly. 2004 was a dark moment in US Olympic basketball. It wasn't just that we didn't win, it was that we lost poorly.
It was embarrassing. And so, as training began for the 2008 Olympics, team, there was a lot of work to do. For example, by most accounts, Kobe Bryant showed up to camp and was in his own world. He wasn't one known for building relationships with other players. He had his own life, his own stuff, his own focus, and everyone was kind of in their own world.
All these different teams, all these different careers, all these different brands that they're managing. And Coach K, who was the coach of the 2008 team, had his work cut out for him. How would he bring this group of people together? Well, Coach K had a secret weapon. He was a West Point grad, and one of the things he did is he brought in military generals.
He brought Navy SEALs in that he knew. He brought in people who talked to this group of different players about what it meant to represent something bigger than themselves, something bigger than their NBA team or their career, what it meant to represent their country. In fact, it profoundly changed Kobe's mindset about the team itself. And in— this guy that walked in really kind of only thinking about his career and his brand, he said this, that this team became, quote, our small way of representing the United States of America. You can play for the Los Angeles Lakers, the Spurs, the Heat, the Mavs, whoever, but it's different when you put on a USA jersey.
And this team became the Redeem Team. Won spectacularly against, I think it was Spain in the gold medal match. It was just, it was a great game down to the wire. And what powered the Redeem Team of USA basketball? Well, it was a new coach.
They did have that. It was new practice styles. They did have that. But fundamentally, it was that this group of people from different places and different teams came together to become something new, something greater than they were by themselves.
5 · The pastor explicitly states the sermon's main thesis, connecting the Redeem Team illustration to Paul's work in 1 Corinthians
And that is what today's passage is about. Paul has all of these people, as we'll see, that are in all of these different places, disconnected, disparate, fighting, full of rivalry, and he brings them together by reminding them what the church actually is. So the main idea today is simple. Christians, think about the church not as me, not as them, but as us. We think of the church as us, not me, not them, but us. And so if you're a kid, here's what I want you to do to get the main point.
I want you to— you have 3 words on your sheet: me, them, and us. I want you to cross out "me." It's not the right word. Cross out "them." Not the right word. Circle, big circle around "us." That's the main point. If you get nothing else, if you miss a point later on, it's okay.
That'll redeem you. You can take that in and get your prize. That's the main point.
Recent preaching context
The three sermons immediately preceding this one in the preaching schedule.
Discuss · apply · pray
6 questions for your group this week
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When Paul says the Corinthians are coming together 'not for the better but for the worse,' what specific behaviors is he naming in verses 20-22? What does his rebuke tell us about why people were gathering in the first place?1 Corinthians 11:20-22→ Have you ever felt that tension — arriving at church thinking primarily about yourself or your own needs rather than about the body? What does that look like?
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According to the sermon, what is the difference between thinking about the church as 'me' or 'them' versus thinking about it as 'us'? Why does Paul keep pointing the Corinthians back to the Lord's Supper as the answer to their division?1 Corinthians 11:23-24
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The sermon identifies a 'me-centered' mindset as the root problem — not just bad behavior, but a fundamental misorientation. Where do you see this mindset showing up in the American church today, and what does it cost us?→ Can you think of a time when you've chosen a church based on what it offers you rather than on who is there and what Christ is doing?
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What does the Lord's Supper declare about our common salvation and our common identity? How does regularly receiving it together reshape the way we think about the people sitting next to us in the pew?1 Corinthians 11:26→ If the table declares that we are united by Christ's blood alone — not by our preferences, politics, or personalities — how should that change the way we relate to someone at church you naturally don't like?
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The sermon says that 'Christians must think about the church not as me or them, but as us — united by the blood of Christ.' What does it practically mean to live that out when you're frustrated with someone in your congregation?→ What would need to change in your heart for you to see that person as 'us' rather than 'them'?
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Paul tells the Corinthians to 'wait for one another' and to recognize the body of the Lord in community. How does this command push back against the consumer mentality the sermon names — the idea that church is a service we choose based on our preferences?1 Corinthians 11:33→ What would it look like for your group to genuinely wait for one another, and what barriers do you face in doing that?
5-day reading plan
This week we move from the Corinthian disorder into the heart of what Christ offers — a unified body, redeemed by blood, where 'me' becomes 'us.'
Jesus interrupts worship itself to demand reconciliation. We cannot stand before God while fractured from our brother. The Corinthians arrived at the Lord's Supper thinking only of themselves — but Jesus teaches that the table cannot be separated from the table around us. A 'me-centered' church dishonors the God we worship.
Peter calls the church a 'chosen people,' a 'holy nation,' a 'people belonging to God.' We do not come to the table as Americans, as rich or poor, as educated or simple — we come as the redeemed of the Lord. Every time we eat and drink, we declare that our deepest identity is not what we own or what we've achieved, but what Christ has done for us.
Paul commands us to 'rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.' This is the opposite of the consumer mindset that asks, 'Does this church meet my needs?' Rather, we ask, 'Whose needs can I meet? Whose sorrow can I carry?' When we arrive thinking only of ourselves, we become blind to the body around us — and we miss Christ entirely.
In Christ, the hostility between Jew and Gentile is destroyed; a new humanity is created. The Corinthians were dividing along lines of class and status — but the cross levels all ground. At the table, the widow sits beside the wealthy, the slave beside the free, because Christ died for *all*. His blood is the only ticket in, and it is sufficient for everyone.
Paul writes: 'Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf.' Every time you break bread, you declare something radical — you are not alone, you are not independent, you are *part of us*. The supper is not a transaction between you and God; it is a covenant meal where God reshapes you into a family. Come hungry for more than bread.
Father, Make Us One
Father, we come before you as a family bought by the blood of your Son. We thank you that the cross does what nothing else can do — it unites us not by our tastes, our preferences, our backgrounds, or our opinions, but by a common salvation that runs deeper than all our divisions. We praise you that in Christ, we are not a collection of individuals, but a body, a family, a people made one by the gospel.
We confess that we arrive at church thinking far too often of ourselves. We come asking what we will get from the service, whether we like the people in the pew next to us, whether the music suits our preference, whether the sermon speaks to us as individuals. We treat your church as a consumer experience and our brothers and sisters as obstacles or strangers rather than as family bought with the same blood that bought us. Forgive us for the pride that whispers, "I don't belong with these people," when the truth is that we belong to one another because we belong first to Christ. Forgive us for the digital isolation that makes us think our real family is online, when you have placed us here, in flesh and blood, in this local body.
Here is the good news: every time we take the Lord's Supper, we declare together that all of us — regardless of our station, our history, our feelings — are equally saved by grace alone. We come to the table as equals, humbled before the cross, grateful for a salvation we did not earn and do not deserve. The meal that divides us reveals what truly unites us: the body and blood of Jesus, given for all of us, for the forgiveness of all of us. In that meal, we become an 'us' that supersedes every 'me' and every 'them.'
Give us grace this week to see one another as Christ sees us — not as types or obstacles, but as brothers and sisters for whom Christ died. When we are tempted to withdraw into ourselves or to faction away from those unlike us, bring us back to the table. Remind us that our primary identity is Christian, not consumer, not preference, not comfort. Help us to think and speak and act as the unified body of Christ, bearing one another's burdens, delighting in one another's joy, and moving together toward the day when we see him face to face. To you alone be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, now and forever.
Who Is Your Church Family?
This prompt helps kids move from thinking about church as 'the place I go' to understanding it as 'the people I belong to.' Listen for whether they name specific people — that's the real work of the gospel.
Pastor Ricky said that when we take communion, we're saying 'we all belong to Jesus together.' At your table right now — who are some people from our church family that you know belong to Jesus just like you do? (It can be someone you like a lot, or someone really different from you, or someone you've never really talked to.)
When Church Becomes 'Us'
- What part of the sermon made you think differently about why you come to church together — or made you aware of ways you've been thinking 'me' instead of 'us'?
- Where do you see consumer thinking or factionalism showing up in how we relate to our church family, and what would it look like for us to choose 'us' this week?
- How can we pray for one another to receive the Lord's Supper not as individuals but as members of one body — and to carry that 'us' identity back into our marriage?
1 Corinthians 11:24-25
And when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, 'This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.' In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.'
Why this verse: This is the heart of Paul's correction to the Corinthians: the Lord's Supper is not about 'me' but about 'you' — plural — united in Christ's blood. Every time believers take the Supper, they are reminded that they belong to a 'us,' not an isolated 'I,' and that their identity is first and foremost bound to Christ and to one another.
About the church
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# Cross of Grace Church A church preaching expository sermons through the books of the Bible. ## Sermons - [Why is my heart an idol factory and how do I turn it off? (1 Corinthians 9:27-10:22, 2024-02-04)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/02/why-is-my-heart-an-idol-factory-and-how-do-i) - [If I'm free in Christ do I just do what I want? (1 Corinthians 10:23-11:1, 2024-02-11)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/02/if-i-m-free-in-christ-do-i-just-do-what-i-want) - [Who defines gender and what does it mean? (1 Corinthians 11:2-16, 2024-02-25)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/02/who-defines-gender-and-what-does-it-mean) - [What If I Don't Like the People at My Church? (1 Corinthians 11:17-34, 2024-03-10)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2024/03/what-if-i-don-t-like-the-people-at-my-church) ## About - [About the church](/about) - [Plan a visit](/visit)
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