The Madness, Magic and Mystery of Gender

6 · The pastor establishes the first foundational truth: every person matters because God chose, designed, and predestined them for adoption before creation, setting his love on them despite knowing they would rebel

First fundamental truth. You matter.

You matter. Your life matters. So many people go through life wondering if they actually matter, if anyone actually cares, if anyone sees them or acknowledges them. And Ephesians says gloriously from the beginning of the letter, "You matter." Ephesians 1, Paul is writing to these Christians in Ephesus and he encourages them in Ephesians 1 saying, "God chose us in him before the foundation of the world. In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ." What Paul is encouraging this church with is telling them, God knew you before you were born.

Not only did God make you, he knew you even before he made you, he designed you, and he set his love on you. And he planned out a purpose for your life. And even knowing that you would rebel and turn away against him, he still chose to set his love on you and to go after you and to redeem you and to, and it says, reconcile you and adopt you. He has adopted you as sons through Jesus Christ.

7 · The pastor addresses a potential objection to the language of adoption "as sons," explaining that in the first-century Roman context, only sons received full legal rights and inheritance

Now, perhaps you're a woman and you're thinking, okay, or maybe you're a man and you're thinking, okay, predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ.

Well, there's the patriarchy again. Sons. Why do we have to be sons? Why can't we be sons and daughters? Well, it's actually a very specific language here.

This is where the Bible's specificity when it comes to language is a gift, because in the first century, If you were not a son, well, only sons inherited.

Only sons inherited the legal rights and privileges fully of their father, not daughters. But— and especially in terms of Roman culture, if you weren't of a maybe Roman citizen family, you would not have Roman citizenship, meaning all the privileges of your family would get passed down to the sons. And God is saying here, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, rich or poor, Gentile or Jewish, you are treated by God and elevated and adopted to being as close to him with all the rights and privileges he could possibly bestow on you as a son. That's what he's saying. You, Ephesian, maybe Gentile woman, maybe poor man, you are are adopted as sons through Jesus Christ.

8 · The pastor contrasts Ephesians' grounding of human worth in God's love with contemporary cultural attempts to ground worth in beauty, talent, success, family, or self-affirmation

Notice how Ephesians doesn't ground our mattering in how pretty you are or how toned you are or how talented you are or how successful you are. It doesn't ground that you matter in your family or your culture or your workplace. It doesn't even ground your mattering in what you believe about yourself. That's another common thing in our culture. Well, if you're going to matter, you have to convince yourself.

You have to put your meaning in yourself, and then you matter because you believe you matter. No, no, no. Listen, man, there's a lot of days where I don't think I matter.

But Ephesians reminds us you matter because you matter to God. And that can't be taken from you, regardless of whether you're rich or poor, whether you're a man or a woman, whether you're American or whatever, right? That cannot be taken from you because you matter to God. To the Lord.

9 · The pastor returns to J

Now, one of the interesting notes in this podcast I was listening to about J.K. Rowling is they were asking her, why do you think this is such a universal story?

Why is it so popular in so many cultures and places around the world? Of this, this young boy who's kind of locked up and demeaned by his, his family, discovers he can do magic and enters into this magical world. Why do people resonate with that? And she said she thinks it's because People want to believe that there is a kind of magic in themselves that they can feel almost on the edges of their mind, that if they could only discover it and unlock it, would give their life greater meaning, right? Give them agency and mattering in the world around them.

Now, again, I'm not promoting occult magic here, but I believe every human being has an innate desire for seeing something in and of ourselves that is, if I could say it this way, magical. We walk around knowing there must be something magical about us, but there is a deeper magic we found in Scripture than what our culture can offer. It is a magic woven into the strands of our DNA and born on our fingerprints. It is the very image of God. What we just read, that you were made in the image of God, that when God made humanity, he made humanity as the pinnacle of creation with a unique imaging of who he is that can't be found in, in 1,000 galaxies outside of us or in the depths of the Grand Canyon or, or in the moon and sky above us, right?

It is uniquely shining out, the image of God uniquely shining out through humanity. That is why you, friend, you today sitting right here, you matter. You matter. You matter to God.

10 · The pastor establishes the second foundational truth: you matter specifically as a man or as a woman

Second, you matter as a man or as a woman.

Now, it's important and more important than we think that Paul gives differing encouragement and direction to husbands and wives. And he roots these differing directions not in a changeable cultural point of reference, but in creation and in Genesis 1 and 2. He quotes Genesis, I believe it's 2:24, where he says, "This mystery is profound. I'm saying—" Oh no, rather, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife." That's Genesis 2. That is kind of laid on top of that verse we read in Genesis 1.

So, God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created him. Male and female he created them. So, this image of God that God makes This mattering to God is not done in one, if you could say it this way, gender. One, just males or just females.

Male and female are his design for creation that it might better reflect his image.

11 · The pastor uses the analogy of stereo versus mono sound to explain why God created male and female—the Trinitarian God, characterized by unity-in-distinction, chose to give a glimpse of that dynamic in creation through gender complementarity

Now, that changes the conversation from squabbling over chromosomes or historical precedence to approaching then maleness and femaleness with a breathless awe at the design of God that he would make something so glorious. Look, God created human beings as male and female in his image. Now, I'm not saying that, uh, that we are a trinity, so please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say. But God is Trinitarian, right?

God is Father, Son, and Spirit, as we've been talking about for the last few weeks, right? All God, all equal, all distinct. And so when God creates, he doesn't create another Trinity. So if you think you're a Trinity, you need some help. We'd love to talk to you after the service if you're like, "Yeah, I think I kind of play the role of the Spirit in my family." No, I don't think so.

Let's not do that. Let's not say that. People get wacky about this stuff. But what we can say is this. The Trinity, being distinct and yet one, can't be fully imaged, can it?

But God in His wisdom chooses to give a glimmer and a glimpse of that Trinitarian unity and distinction by creating male and female. That, if I could say it this way, that we might hear the image of God resound in creation, not in mono, but in stereo. Now, I'm going to date myself here. I was talking to somebody in the first service about this, and we were just lamenting how old we are. But I still remember when I first got a CD player and headphones, and I could hear in my headphones stereo sound.

Now, I know how I sound right now to anybody who's, like, 15. I'm like, "Okay, Grandpa, that must have been a big moment for you when Teddy Roosevelt won World War II and you got stereo headphones." No, but before that, you just get, you know, mono sound, it's just, all the sound is just boom, hitting you with the same. But I still remember putting the headphones on and being like, oh my gosh, I can hear the guitar over here, I can hear the piano over here. It's over here and then it's over there and then they're together, it's amazing, right? Or anybody's ever put together a surround sound system where you're like, I can hear the roar of the Transformers behind me and then the things exploding in front of me, it's amazing.

Right? That difference and distinction is more glorious than just one big wall of sound hitting you from the front, right? Similarly, human beings, it could have just made one of us that just blip, blip, blip, just reproduces like that. But rather, God makes male and female that his image might be heard and resounding throughout creation in stereo, making it more beautiful and glorious than it would have been otherwise. Look, I love when we occasionally will have moments where— we had some this morning where in worship we have men leading out and singing, and then other moments where we have women leading out and singing.

And when you have all the men in the church singing, it is unique and glorious and powerful. And if you have just women singing, it is unique and glorious and in a different kind of— it's just a different sound. And when those two things come together, It's glorious, right? Now listen, I've been to conferences where it's just men singing, and for the first, like, set, it's amazing. And then after the third or fourth set, I'm like, man, okay, every song sounds like this.

You know, it's like, man, we got to get some variety in here, right?

God makes it such that men and women across the various aspects of life complement each other and shine the the glory and resound with the glory of God, the image of God out in creation as male and as female.

12 · The pastor steps out of exposition to address the congregation's lived experience directly, naming the anxiety both men and women feel about whether they are "good" at being their gender according to family or cultural standards

Now, here, man, here is where I think we often live. Scripture tells us that you, friend, you matter as a man and you matter as a woman. God offers in his design something that we cannot find. I was talking to people, especially after the first service, I think almost every human being right now in our era of cultural confusion walks around wondering, "Am I," if you're male, "Am I a good man?" And maybe that being a good man is defined by your dad or your culture, or, "I don't want to be like my dad.

I'm going to be the anti-dad." Or you walk around thinking, "Am I a good woman? Am I good at being a woman? Am I this enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I toned enough?

Am I—" Am I this enough? Am I talented enough? Am I successful enough? You know, right? That's what it means to be a modern woman.

And whatever, however that was shaped by your mother or your culture are those things that we walk around with this low-level sense of, am I good at that thing? And here's the thing I think Scripture would encourage you with. It is not a mistake, brothers, that God has made you men. It is not a mistake, sisters, that God has made you women. He has made it that he might shine and resound his image more gloriously throughout all creation.

13 · The pastor shares a personal story of being encouraged as a "caring, competent, masculine leader" and reflects on how rare such gender-specific encouragement is, even though it met a deep need

Look, this encouragement matters and is so needed. I was talking to a friend recently and they were— I was discouraged and they were trying to encourage me. And the brother used a phrase that I just have not heard somebody use with me before. And so he was just kind of signing off and going, listen, man, just want to encourage you. You are a caring, competent, masculine leader that I think is serving Serving people.

And I was like, oh, man, thank you so much. And then after I got off the phone with him, I just thought, I don't think anyone's ever encouraged me, you're a good masculine leader, you know, good masculine person. And I thought, OK, that— not me. I mean, have you seen me play sports? This is not good.

I'm not like picked lower half. I'm picked last in sports. I'm like, I'm inflicted on a team. As a handicap at points. I have no peripheral vision.

I have terrible lungs. I have bad allergies. I have a bad back. Like, this is just— I could go on.

I can't rebuild an engine. I've never hunted down an elk. I don't know how to begin to do that other than wandering into the wilderness and then getting rescued by the rangers 3 days later. That's what I've got.

And yet it was encouraging that the aspects he was trying to encourage me for were aspects in which he saw me trying to lay down my life for my wife, imperfectly, and shepherd the church, imperfectly. And he was saying, "Yeah, that's it. I think that's what I see in the Bible, man." And I think we need to reclaim this, brothers and sisters, as a category of, like, it's good that God has made me this way.

Now, and again, but be very clear, I'm not talking about just weird cultural conventions that we're going to begin to impose, like, as a church. Like, okay, so now all— somebody's telling me at one point in their church growing up, they really wanted to reclaim, like, men being, like, you know, men of industry and leadership, you know. And so all the men started carrying briefcases around. They brought briefcases to church. You're like, yes, that's right.

Hello, Frank, you know. And they're wearing suits and briefcases everywhere. And That's what it meant to be a man. That's not what I'm talking about. But rather, when we see things in Scripture that are present in a brother or a sister, we say, that's what I see, sister.

That's what I see, brother. And it is glorious. I'm so glad you bring it. I'm so glad it's different.

14 · The pastor illustrates gender differences through his experience raising three sons after growing up with three sisters

Just one silly illustration.

I grew up— I have a really strange life experience because I grew up with 3 sisters, no brothers, and I'm raising 3 sons, no girls. And so I was immersed for like a decade, two decades in just girls, just girls, right? And then now I'm immersed for a decade with just boys. And so recently we were out on a walk and there was this kind of wooden platform thing. My boys saw the wooden platform and without coordination, without discussing it beforehand, they jump on the platform, boom, and start fighting.

They just jump on the platform and they're like wrestling and fighting and the 3-year-old's just getting in and trying to push people around. And the two big ones are, you know, pushing each other back and forth. And they're just playing king of the hill. And there was no, like, coordination. There was no sitting down, well, brothers, shall we take the mountain and play king of the hill now?

Oh, I think that— you know, they just do it. They just do the thing. I never experienced that with my sisters. I was never out with my sisters where the three of them began fighting in public. That shit, like, physically trying to push people off a thing.

But I also have experienced wonderful moments with my sisters. I remember one time one of them, like, one of their dolls was damaged and they were just like, oh my gosh, this is an emergency. So they're all right there trying to figure out how to fix the doll. If that happens in my household, like a toy is damaged, the two other brothers are like, well, tough. You know, it's just like, you know, you broke that thing.

Well, it happens. You know, it's just— and yet, and yet, it's important for us to recognize there is something glorious and God-imaging about the fact that those responses are different, that men and women are different, not just in marriage but beyond it, in every sphere of life. It matters, brothers, that you are men. It matters, sisters, that you are women.

15 · The pastor quotes Josh Blount to synthesize the theological claim: the church has no hierarchy of worth but also rejects the modern leveling of sameness

Josh Blount, one of the fellow pastors in our family of churches, says this: "In the family of God, there is no hierarchy of worth, no inner ring nor elite few, but neither is there the flat, modern monotone of sameness and equality." Instead, there is God's beautiful, complex chord of complementarity, difference by design, a heavenly harmony in which the sum is greater than its parts.

You matter as a man and as a woman.

16 · The pastor establishes the third foundational truth: you matter even bent

Third, you matter even bent. Now, the other thing that is so helpful to our understanding of gender from Ephesians is an understanding that humanity is bent, and it's bent in a variety of ways. As we've walked through the book of Ephesians, we went from talking about how we're dead in our transgressions and sins, where we followed a culture that is deadly for us, that our minds have been darkened, our understanding has been twisted. And so everything from our bodies to our desires to our culture can be disordered and now bent out of shape.

C.S. Lewis used this great This is the image of humanity. Humanity was made in a— according to a design, but now has been bent kind of out of sorts. And he liked the metaphor being bent because it provides— it's not just broken and shattered, just, well, that's it, sorry, good luck. No, it's bent, but it can be reformed and reforged and put back into shape.

And I think that image is helpful. I think that's what we see in Ephesians chapter 2. This means, as I said, our bodies, our desires, everything about us can be bent and disordered. Now, we experience this in many ways. There are those with a physical disorder of sex development who deserve our compassion and our help to whatever extent we're able to give it.

There are those with severe clinical cases of gender dysphoria. Our bodies, our minds, other aspects of us are broken and bent in a fallen world. We must acknowledge as well that our desires can be disordered. Ephesians 4, in particular, speaks of our minds and desires being contrary to God's created order. So you can think of it as your mind, the shape of your mind is bent out of sorts.

We must acknowledge then that all of us have places and ways in which we are bent in the area of what it means to be a human being, and what it means, as well, to be a man or to be a woman. In Ephesians 5, in particular, Paul is addressing some particular ways men and women can be bent out of design. And one of the interesting things about that, and you compare it to Genesis 3, is that in Genesis 3, the kind of the punishment or decree or discipline given to men and given to women is different. Now, it doesn't mean that they both did not sin. It doesn't mean that they both were not, you know, under judgment and need to be saved.

But the punishment, in a sense, if you could say it this way, the shape of their sin was a little bit different. And so the justice God brought was slightly different as well.

17 · The pastor quotes Josh Blount on how sin bends men and women in gender-specific ways—husbands become abusers or neglectors, wives experience their God-given role as constraint or curse, and the home groans under futility

Josh Blount again says this, that it takes only a little observation or human experience to confirm the divine testimony that husbands and wives in the garden are infected with the pollution of sin in gender-specific ways at times. Apart from the grace of God, husbands do not live as loving sacrificial heads and protectors become abusers, providers become neglectors. And without the influence of the gospel, wives do not experience or receive the divinely given role as helper, as life-giving or fulfilling. It becomes a constraint or a curse. And east of Eden, harmony degenerates into dissonance. The home, no less than creation itself, groans under the futility and destruction of sin.

So what is this then? What do we have to do with this then?

If it's true that all of us as men or as women, maybe it's in marriage, maybe it's outside of marriage, are bent by sin, and maybe even our maleness and our femaleness can be bent the wrong way, what then are we to do? Well, that is why Ephesians is full of grace. It's full of grace. It could have been— our story could have been, you know, humanity chose to sin. We were dead in our transgressions and sins.

We followed the prince of the power of the air and the end. That could have been the Bible. And yet it's not. Ephesians is chock-full with grace that God sees even people bent out of sorts, out of the design he made them for, and with compassion goes to them, lays down his life for them that they might be saved and restored and re— forged, in a sense, into what he has always meant for them and intended for them. Look, if you're aware of sin and failure today, we're going to end with communion, but I want to encourage you even now, don't allow an area in your life where you feel, "Man, I'm just off here," to lead you into condemnation and hopelessness.

Rather, see that you are bent, but God loves you. In love, he predestined you for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ. Despite knowing that you were dead, a dead, angry zombie rebel is what Ephesians 2 calls you, and God set his love on you and sent his Son for you.

You matter even bent.

18 · The pastor establishes the fourth foundational truth: you matter to the church

Fourth, you matter to the church. This is what we've seen over the last few months in Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4 calls us in verses 15 and 16, it says, "We are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." Very clear in Ephesians that one gender or, you know, just the males or just the females, That's not what Paul says. Okay, just you guys matter.

The women are the competent ones. Now just men, get out of the way. You're just making this worse. Just get out. Just like a TV dad from the '60s.

You're just the worst. Get out of here. Let the, you know, let the women run this thing and you guys just try to watch the game and stay out of the way. That's not what Paul says. Neither does he say, listen, ladies, get out of the way.

The males are coming in. They're about to throw their weight around and wear a built big belt buckle and shoot six-shooter pistols around in the church. I mean, that's what the church would be if it was just us. We would begin— we would start every church meeting with a, you know, a six-shooter salute. And a six-shooter— I can't speak— six-shooter salute to maleness.

And the thing would be filled with holes. Thank God that's not the case.

But we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, from whom the whole body, held together by every joint, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow. Meaning this, men and women, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, all of them are needed to be the body of Christ. No one is expendable, no one is unnecessary, all are part of God's design. And the church, when men or women hold back, Sisters and brothers, hold back. The church is far poorer for it.

19 · The pastor cites Andrew Wilson's observation that Western Christians wrongly impose a business hierarchy onto the church, asking who are the CEOs and who are the workers

Andrew Wilson has this great observation that one of the reasons that we, in our Western understanding of the church, end up so warped is that we tend to think of the church through the paradigm of business. And so, there are some people in the church that are the CEOs, and then there's the vice presidents, and then there's the managers, and then the mid-level managers, and then the workers are down here. And so, we try to turn the church into sort of a business and say, Okay, well, which people are in which positions? Where Wilson points out, no, no, no, the metaphor of the church is a family and a body. Meaning that in every family, the mother and father are both valuable and needed.

In every body, the left arm and right arm are both needed. The heart and the lungs are both needed, right? This is the metaphor rather than He's not trying to go, well, then who gets the top position, who does this? No, he's saying that you're thinking about it as a Western business. Think about it in the terms that Jesus has given us to think about it, as a body, as a family.

20 · The pastor illustrates the necessity of women in the church with a story from an Alpha group where a woman began to tear up while sharing

Look, I got to experience this recently in Alpha. We had— one of the things I love about Alpha is that anybody can share honestly where they're at. And so we had a woman in our group who was just sharing honestly where she was at. And she was amazed at what the Lord was doing in her life, but it was still— And so, you know, it was still tender for her. And so she began to share, and she began to tear up.

And so we're in this group, and I'm a pastor in the group. I just happened to be in the group. And I could feel the— you know, Mark, the group leader, is looking at me, and I'm looking at Mark, and I'm kind of like, are you going to do something, Mark, with my eyes? And Mark's looking back at me like, well, you're the pastor, aren't you going to do something? And then there's another guy in the group.

So we look over at this guy, and we're kind of like, do you have something to do? And so she's just kind of tearing up and it's just a tender moment. And I love it because one of the ladies in the group, Mary, just got up, didn't say anything, just got up, walked over, and gave this woman a giant hug and just said, "You know, we just want you to know we love you. And I know that this may not be easy to talk about, but just so grateful that you're here." And the woman was just so touched and helped. And I'm looking at Mark and he and I were like, "Oh, that's what we should— that's what needed to happen right now." And I was joking with Mark after the first service, you could have given us like an hour to be like, okay, here's the moment, how do you respond?

And I would've come up with a lot of things, a lot of Bible verses, and Mark would've been like, well, I read this thing that might be helpful in this moment. And none of us would've come up with a hug. It just, and yet that is glorious.

21 · The pastor applies the theological truth that men and women both matter to the church by directly addressing sisters and mothers with gratitude for their influence on his tenderness as a Christian, then tells a story of a blue-collar man's simple eye-lock, handshake, and "good job" that encouraged him more than longer affirmations

Look, I just want you to hear from me as a pastor, as a brother and as a son. Sisters and mothers in the faith, I am so grateful for you. I would not be where I am in my faith apart from you, apart from your example, apart from your encouragement, apart from your wisdom. I don't think my heart would be as tender if I'd not grown up with going to community group with Mrs. Wheeler, who never fails to have tears in her eyes when she talks about the goodness of God. I would not be the same.

I would be colder as a Christian.

Please believe, sisters and mothers, you matter so much. And brothers, let me say as well, you matter. We need each other. We live in a culture in which men are more isolated, more alone, more separate from each other than ever before. When we desperately— what we desperately need is one another.

Listen, there was a— one more story. There was a time, this must have been last year, where it was a difficult message or service or something like that. I don't even remember the circumstances, but I remember just feeling inadequate, like, man, I'm trying to do my best to serve the church with explaining this passage. It didn't feel like I got it right. It was kind of controversial in our culture.

And so, yeah, I had a couple women in the church just say, you did a great job. And I was like, oh, thank you. You know, I appreciate that. Didn't feel like it, but I appreciate it. And as I was leaving, one of the men in the church, who was kind of a blue-collar guy his whole life, I remember this because he didn't usually do this, but he looked me in the eye, he kind of locked eyes with me, walked up, gave me a calloused hand handshake, which is the best kind of handshake, right?

A guy with calluses on his hands, he just bam, right in. He looks in my eyes and says, "Good job." And then he just walked away. That was it. That was the end of the interaction. And that was the best encouragement I got that day.

Brothers, we need one another. If you are a father in the faith, please don't give up when you get to the back half of life. We need you. Press on. Be an example for us.

Brothers, we need one another. Press into one another. And we need in our lives that lock— eye lock, handshake, good job— more than we think.

22 · The pastor establishes the fifth foundational truth: you matter to the world

All right. Last one.

I'll move on and then we'll end here. You matter to the church and you matter to the world.

The world is at stake here, guys. I think in this moment of intense cultural confusion about what it means to be a man, about what it means to be a woman, about what it means to be married, the world is at stake. Look at Ephesians 5:32. It says, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying, It refers to Christ and the church. Look, Paul is pouring his heart out to husbands and wives, not just because he's a busybody that likes giving people directions, like he likes ordering people around, no.

He is calling them to be bent back into the image of Christ because husbands and wives together in their marriage are a picture of the gospel itself. That in every marriage is carried someone, in a sense, if you could say it this way, in the drama of the gospel, playing the part of Christ and someone playing the part of the church. And as their love story unfolds, the story of the gospel unfolds.

23 · The pastor illustrates the concept of marriage as gospel drama with a story about a missions trip to Canada where they performed a gospel drama in public but were shut down by (very polite) Canadian police

Look, there was years ago, we went to Canada on a missions trip, which doesn't make any sense to have a group of people on the US-Mexican border go up to Canada on a missions trip, but that's what we did. And it was great.

And one of the things we did is we did a gospel drama that we would put on in, you know, places. And so we went to this big crowded area where it was kind of a market. And so we began doing this gospel drama. And it was so funny. The Canadian police are just much nicer in many ways.

American cops would have been like, "Hey, get out of here. Come here." You know? Which I appreciate. That's my language.

It's okay.

The Canadian police officer comes up and he's like, "Hey, oh, sorry, but you can't do that here. So if you could just wrap up, it would be, you know, wonderful. Again, sorry to interrupt." And you're like, "Okay." So we were not able to do the drama anymore in public places. Apparently there's a law against that. So I remember being so disappointed.

Ah, and just thinking, "Well, man, it would be so great if we could have gotten this picture of the gospel in front of the Canadian people." And God's like, "No, I got you." Because every time a husband and a wife love each other well, it is a drama, it is a picture of the gospel itself. And that is why, as we'll see in the next couple of weeks, God sets the definition and boundaries of what it means to be married, because he wants the marriages in the church to carry the drama of the gospel well.

24 · The pastor addresses the question of singles' significance by noting that Paul himself wrote as an unmarried man, that all begin and most end life unmarried, and that heaven has no marriage

Now you might say that, well, what about the unmarried? Which is significant. Paul is writing this unmarried, okay?

So he's— this isn't as though it's coming from out of nowhere from an unmarried guy to a bunch of married people. We all start out unmarried, if you haven't noticed that. And we all, most of us at least, will end life unmarried. And there will be a lot of unmarried in between. And in heaven, Jesus says, we will not be married.

So what about the rest of us? And this is where Genesis 1 and 2 are so helpful, right? The gospel is the story of God setting, seeking and saving a people for himself. It is a kind of a reenactment of Genesis 1 and 2 where God creates, sets his love on humanity, humanity's meant to respond with love and joy and live happily ever after. But humanity does not do that.

So here is the reality. Every human being, whether they're married or single, that lives out their maleness or femaleness in a way that honors God is pointing back to God's original design in Genesis 1 and 2. And every person married or unmarried that presses into the relationship that they were made for, which by the way is not a relationship with a spouse, nobody is gonna complete you in that way. Only God will because he's the one that made you. And that's the way it was designed to work.

And so every single person that presses into their relationship with God and says, "God, you are enough," is an image of Genesis 1 and 2 as it was meant to be. A glimmer of that in a world that desperately needs it.

25 · The pastor quotes Sam Alberry's distinction: married couples show the shape of the gospel (Christ and church), while singles show the sufficiency of the gospel (God is enough)

Sam Alberry, who is a same-sex attracted Anglican minister who is unmarried, says that married couples often show the shape of the gospel to the world. Where singles often show the sufficiency of the gospel to the world.

So you, friend, whether you're single or married, you matter to the world.

26 · The pastor transitions from theological exposition to application by introducing three things he prays for his sons every night—compassion, courage, and conviction—which will structure the closing application section

Now, I want to end with 3 things. I pray 3 things for my boys every night. I don't know when I started doing this, but I thought it might be helpful to share this. I pray for compassion, for courage, and for conviction.

27 · The pastor applies the first prayer—compassion—calling Christians to be the most compassionate people in the world toward those struggling with gender and sexuality

First, I pray for compassion, and I think in this cultural moment, Christians need compassion. We should be those who are the most compassionate people in the world when we encounter those dealing with gender and sexuality issues. Those struggling feel that there is a fundamental disconnect between who they are meant to be and who they are. And they live in a constant friction and dissonance of those two things. But human beings— this is why Christians should be more compassionate than anyone else— we know what it is to live in the tension of who we want to be, who we are meant to be, and who we are.

We know that all of us fallen have an image that we were meant to be, but we are not that. And so we should meet those around us with compassion. We get it, that's the fall. And we wanna make our lives and our church a safe place for people to ask hard questions about gender and sexuality and life and marriage. We need compassion.

We wanna be like Jesus who saw the crowds as sheep without a shepherd.

28 · The pastor applies the second prayer—courage—calling the church to offer clear biblical answers alongside compassion

Second, we want to pray for courage. We wanna act in courage. We wanna be a safe place for asking hard questions, but we must be a place where people will also get a clear answer. One of the, I think, missteps some Christians make in this area is they confuse compassion for vagueness.

That when people come in, it's like, "Well, you know, I don't know what it means to be a woman or a man." And we're just like, "Oh, I don't know either. It's so hard, isn't it?" And in that moment, it might feel like, okay, yeah, we need to sit with somebody asking those hard questions and say, "I know it is hard." But we need to then also be able to point people to the scripture Scriptures and say, I know this is hard, I know it's confusing, but here is what the Word says. Here's a letter from the one who made you. Can we read that together? This is one of those areas where the world around us cannot even answer the question, what does it mean to be a man?

What does it mean to be a woman? Does it matter? Are they different? If you look at the Cambridge Dictionary like I did this week, if you look up the word woman, it just refers you to the dictionary entry for female. So what does it mean to be a woman?

To have female characteristics. Okay, great. So what does it mean to be female? It means to be of or related to a woman. So you're like, okay, so what was a woman again?

It means to have female characteristics. And you're like, okay, so that is to be of or around or among or kind of a woman thing. And so you're just like, okay, I don't, I don't understand. Where, where is the definition? There isn't one.

There isn't one. Instead, we answer the question, "What is a woman?" It is someone made in God's female design to reflect God's female design, and it is beautiful.

We need courage.

29 · The pastor applies the third prayer—conviction—calling Christians to live by biblical conviction rather than cultural preference

Third, we need conviction. We must live with conviction. Christians are not meant to live by accident, but by biblical conviction. And let me clarify, living with conviction is not preference.

It's not, I liked the '50s better. I wish all men wore hats and suits again, you know? I wish all the ladies wore skirts and dresses again. That was better. That's not biblical conviction.

That is preference, right? Or like, oh, this is what it means. The real masculine outfit is if you've got a belt buckle and boots, that's the real man's outfit. And like, I got some lumberjacks in Canada that would probably disagree with you. Carry axes every day and wear Timberland boots, right?

So it's just like, or some other thing, like some star athlete. There's all these different things. What does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a woman? No, we must have those answers rooted in biblical conviction so that we're not spouting preference, but biblical conviction.

And we should have the word more and more shape what we believe about those things.

30 · The pastor concludes with an illustration from an interview with a trans person who found refuge in J

All right, let me close with this. Remember all the books of J.K. Rowling that have been burned? Well, one of the fascinating interviews I read was from a trans person who was deeply, deeply hurt by some of the comments of J.K. Rowling and her advocacy for biological women in Scotland. And this person being interviewed said essentially that they were so hurt because these books Rowling had written became for them a refuge.

Because they were sharing their experience was much like the main character. They felt as though they were isolated and alienated from the world around them, but found in these books a doorway to where people who are different and magical are accepted and loved for who they are, right?

And that's why she said she was having her tattoos laser removed. She was so angry. And as I heard this person describe that longing to be seen and accepted, all I could think of was, I know a far better way to be seen and accepted. Look, I think all of us as human beings look at the materialistic world around us and say, no, no, there is something in me that this world around me can't explain, that has meaning and that matters. And I want someone to acknowledge that.

And the Bible says that's because you have a creator that made you and loves you. And then the Bible goes a step further by creating this community of the church, of people of every race and nationality that are male and female, rich and poor, and says everyone made in the image of God can be loved and accepted and all of us reformed and reforged back into the image that God intended for us.

So am I saying that the church is like Hogwarts? Sort of. A little bit.

I am saying that it is the place that every human being truly longs for and that is only found in Christ and in the church and will one day, that distance and separation between who we long to be and who we are, that gap will finally be closed when the church is reunited as the bride with Christ, our husband, and we will live forever in joy. And every single person will get a happy ending. That's what we long for. Every single person in Christ will get a happy ending.

31 · The pastor issues a direct evangelistic appeal to anyone not in Christ, urging them to believe today and be reconciled to God, then transitions the congregation into taking communion

So let me, let me just plead with you.

If you're not in Christ, but you long for that, believe today believe in Christ, you today can be reconciled and experience the love and restoration of the one who made you through Christ today. Would you please take the elements of communion now as I pray for us?

32 · The pastor prays for those struggling with identity, that they would see they matter to God as men or women, and that those who don't know Christ would be adopted today

And Lord, I pray as we end that you would minister to anyone struggling with who they are today. You'd minister to anyone who feels the gap between who they long to be and who they are. And I pray that they would see that they matter to you, they matter as a man or as a woman.

And I pray that if they don't know you, Father, you would call them back to yourself, that they might be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ even today. And I pray for all of us who are Christians, Lord, would we have the compassion that you have for those around us? Would we have the courage that you have to speak your word And would we have our convictions rooted in the Bible? I pray for that in the name of Jesus. Amen.

33 · The pastor instructs the congregation on taking communion, framing it as representing adoption through the broken body and shed blood of Jesus Christ

Well, as we take the Lord's Supper, if you are a believer in Christ, you are welcome to participate with us. If you are not, please hear this and receive this and see this as an invitation from the Lord to you today. We talked about how in love he predestined us us for adoption through Jesus Christ. And as we are about to take the Lord's Supper, this is through— this represents that word through— through the disfigured and bleeding head of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who was broken that we might be made whole.

We are made sons through Jesus Christ. So please take the bread in your hand.

And the word says, the Lord Jesus, on the night of his arrest, took bread, and after giving thanks to God, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, take, eat, this is my body given for you. Do this in remembrance of me. Please take the bread.

And in the same way he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant sealed in my blood, shed for you for the forgiveness of sins. Whenever you drink it, do this in remembrance of me." Please take the cup.

And now please stand.

We're going to respond by singing "In Christ alone. And as we sing, allow these words, and especially those words, "in Christ," to ring in your ears, that this is true of you, that you matter to the Lord so much that he sent his Son for you. And allow then the song to draw your affections to Jesus. And if I could say it this way, Enjoy that the voices around you are different. Enjoy, if you're married, that your spouse's voice is not your voice, that the people behind you are not your voice, that there are men and women, young and old, from every walk of life here, and that as we sing out the praise of God to our God, it is glorious.

Amen? Amen.