Session 2: God's Sovereignty in Salvation Gives Us Security in Our Sacrifices

Romans 8:28-30 August 18, 2023 Pastor Billy Raies

Thesis Because God's sovereign commitment to us in salvation is unbreakable even at our worst, we can make secure, sacrificial commitments to our spouses that walk them all the way home to glory.

Series

Marriage Conference

Type

Topical

Tone

pastoraldidacticcelebratory

Method

redemptive-historicalcanonicalapplicatory

What's in this sermon

The shape of the argument

13 units across exposition, application, illustration, theological claim, and conclusion. The pastor's argument is built from these moving parts.

Pastoral correction · unit #3

"The pastor moves from teaching to direct instruction: physically arrange the four visual panels to grasp marriage's place in redemptive history. He applies the magnitude of this vision to personal discipleship (passing it to the next generation) and pastoral care (helping those who have lost hope)."

Doctrinal loci· 12 surfaced

Sanctification · 8 Eschatology · 4 Soteriology · 4 Ecclesiology · 2 Anthropology · 1 Christology · 1 Covenant Theology · 1 Doxology / Worship · 1 Ethics / Moral Theology · 1 Hamartiology · 1 Providence / Sovereignty · 1 Theology Proper · 1

Bible citations· 7

Illustrations· 2

analogy · unit #2 — The stone carver illustration makes vivid the preparatory nature of earthly marriage—God shapes us here so we will fit in the place prepared for us in eternity. The difficult, dusty work of shaping has eschatological purpose.
personal story · unit #8 — The pastor dramatizes a wedding ceremony with his wife to illustrate the concept of walking each other home to glory. The vivid, embodied performance makes the abstract eschatological vision concrete and emotionally accessible—marriage as a journey toward presenting one's spouse to Jesus.

Theological claims· 2

Marriage has eternal importance not because it lasts forever but because it prepares us for eternity with Christ, and we must view our marriages today with vision for that final day. unit #1
The goal of security is not security itself but sacrifice—God makes us secure in his love so that we, like Paul and like Christ, will lay our lives down in loving sacrifice, beginning with our spouses. unit #9

Quotations· 5

"Our marriages have eternal importance, not because they last forever, but because they prepare us for eternity with Christ." — unattributed (unit #1)

"We view our marriages today with a vision of marriage on that day." — unattributed (unit #1)

"Even a great spouse makes a poor savior." — Billy Raies (self-coined phrase) (unit #7)

"The greatest danger to a great marriage is making an idol out of a great marriage." — John Newton (unit #7)

"From this point forward, it won't be love that sustains your covenant... It's your covenant that sustains the love." — Dietrich Bonhoeffer (unit #10)

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Full transcript

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0 · The pastor bridges from the previous session's three-part framework (creation, fall, redemption) and introduces the fourth movement: restoration

Are you still willing to listen after all that? Oh, you guys. Actually, you know, this is kind of a neat segue, the way the Lord orchestrated that. This closing session will probably, I hope, won't be as long, but I hope it'll be as meaningful. Before that, I want to just show you, it'd be easy to have ended that last session just with redemption. So we have creation, fall, redemption. God's original plan for marriage, the corrupted plan that sin did, and the breakdown in relationship with God, and then with each other. And then hallelujah, redemption. But remember I said the Bible begins with marriage and the Bible ends with a marriage? So we can put that— can we put that last slide up on restoration? On this one, do you notice it's no longer— it's not Adam and Eve, it's not husband and wife. This time it's God's global glory through the marriage of the Lamb. This is where he makes all things new. No more tears. No more sin. No more Satan. I'm so sick of sin. Sinning, you guys. I just, I look forward to seeing Jesus face to face and not sinning before him. I'm so looking forward to that. Now it's Christ and his bride. There's an eternal union, eternal communion in a new garden. It's a new garden there. Isn't that great? It's a new garden in the new heavens and earth.

1 · The pastor articulates the theological basis for marriage's significance: not intrinsic permanence but preparatory function

So a couple of quotes I'll put those over on your paper there. Our marriages have eternal importance, not because they last forever, but because they prepare us for eternity with Christ. The other one is we view our marriages today with a vision of marriage on that day. So remember the vision? My people perish for lack of vision. We're gonna look back at God's original design. We're gonna look back at redemption, and we're gonna look forward at the new day, that day when all will be made new, and we'll see Jesus together face to face.

2 · The stone carver illustration makes vivid the preparatory nature of earthly marriage—God shapes us here so we will fit in the place prepared for us in eternity

The best way I know how to communicate that, you might have heard this story. It was of a stone carver, and there's a big tall building they were working on, and the guy was talking to the man who was shaping the stone, A lot of dust happening because, you know, to shape a stone, it sometimes is hard work and it's a lot of cutting. And you just sometimes wonder why all this cutting. So the man was watching and he said, so what are you doing? It looks like the project is just about done. Where is this stone going to go? And he said, well, you see that tower up there, really the highest point almost on the building. He said, if you look closely, there's a missing piece. Up there. He says, "I'm working on this stone down here so that it'll fit in up there." I think that's a good way to describe God's plan for marriage. It's way bigger.

3 · The pastor moves from teaching to direct instruction: physically arrange the four visual panels to grasp marriage's place in redemptive history

It's, you know, when we said, you know, let's— marriage should be held in honor among all. It's so much bigger, you guys. It's so much bigger than just personal happiness. It's so much bigger than just next generation. This is about eternity. It's about eternity. That's why God's doing this. This is a magnificent thing the Lord, the Lord is doing. So would you, would you do this? Just, it'll take a second. Would you put, don't put the one with Adam alone. Would you put your 4 pages together? Creation, um, fall, Redemption. And it might be a little tight squeeze at your table, but would you put them, spread them out, and kind of almost like you were attaching them, if you were gonna tape them together. Because here in front of you is the magnitude of marriage. This is why we hold it in honor. Because from the very beginning, God intended marriage to have a global impact for his glory. And God, it meant so much to God to redeem sinners and to redeem marriage that he gave his only begotten son. He gave his son to redeem us from our sin and to redeem broken marriages and broken men who didn't have a right relationship with God. And that was so reflected in the way I treated Jan. If this is wrong, this is, it's gonna be hard for this to be right. And so that's where the Lord so helped me. But I hope you'll see that. That was what I was hoping would happen with this. And that maybe this is something you could pass on to your kids. This may be something that you could pass on to small groups or people who are struggling and they've lost vision of marriage. They don't have any more hope anymore. Because in this grand design, so who knows, I don't know, all the time frames of this, but it's at least 6,000 years of redemptive history from creation to the fall. I mean, there's a lot of debate about the mark of the year, so let's don't worry about that. But isn't this magnificent? And your marriage is in that timeline. Your marriage is in that story. That's how important your marriage is, because it's a part of this. Oh, and that's why we hold it in honor. Amen. Amen.

4 · The pastor frames the sermon's main teaching section by diagnosing the problem (marital insecurity rooted in fear of abandonment and inadequacy) and announcing the solution's structure: tonight focuses on Christ's commitment to us; tomorrow will address our commitment to each other

Well, here's the last, last part. I hope that could have encouraged you. This last part is just a little mini study on what it means to be in a covenant, the covenant of marriage. And the reason I'm putting this in tonight, and this is kind of good for a date night type of environment, because I hope that this will become very personal to you. And very intimate for you as husband and wife. I've done so many things wrong, not just as a boyfriend, not just as a husband, I've done so many things wrong as a pastor. And it's just really easy as a pastor to kind of focus the church, your whole focus is on what you need to be doing and you need to be doing this and it's just, So much on what you do, so much on what you do. And thank God for churches like Cross of Grace because what you mostly hear is how much he's done for us. Well, the same applies to marriage. The same principle applies to marriage. I think one of the reasons, I mean, so this was obvious to every lady in the room. Not just a fearful man I was, what an insecure man I was. I think a lot of couples go into marriage with some insecurity. It may not be as graphic as mine or as visible as mine, but I think there's some fear and there's some insecurity because what if this doesn't last? What if she leaves me? What if he leaves me? So I'm gonna try harder. I'm gonna try harder. But your best efforts, you're just not very confident in them and they fall short. Well, I think where we start is not— because tomorrow I'm gonna call you to commitment. I would be remiss not to. The Scripture calls you to commitment. So we're gonna look at the commitment of a husband and we're gonna look at the commitment of a wife tomorrow. But you know what I'd like to remind you of tonight is not your commitment to each other. I want to talk to you about his commitment to you, because if you're being constantly renewed on how faithful he is, how unending his love is, how satisfying his love is— oh my goodness, you're gonna thrive then making that commitment day by day to your spouse. Does that make sense?

5 · The pastor signals the turn to exegetical work and pre-empts potential objection about the theological focus of a marriage seminar by asserting that understanding God's character is prerequisite to understanding marriage

So let's just look at this really quickly. So if you open your Bibles to Romans 8, the first point is really the main point, the longest point, and then we'll— the lesson is called God's Sovereignty in Salvation. Isn't that funny? So, wait, I thought this was a marriage seminar. It is, it is. And we're gonna talk about the one who makes marriage worthwhile. But it's with our eyes on him first.

6 · The pastor reads Romans 8:28-30 and frames it as covenant language revealing God's unbreakable commitment sequence: foreknowledge, predestination, calling, justification, glorification

So God's sovereignty in salvation gives us security in our sacrifices. God's sovereignty in salvation gives us security in our sacrifices. So if you get Romans 8:28 open, let's let this unfold because what you're gonna hear in what Paul is telling us is covenant language. It's essentially what God has done in covenanting himself to us and the security we have in that, and then the amazing sacrifices that can be made because of it. So Romans, you're the first, uh, Romans 8:28, probably most of you know, don't even have to look it up, Romans 8:28, but let's read 28 through 30. And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, including marriage, right? So we're gonna put marriage in that too. For those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew, I want you to be listening for covenant commitment here. Jesus's covenant commitment to you. Those whom he foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

7 · Extended exposition unpacking each link in the Romans 8:28-30 chain as covenant commitment

So you, you guys have made significant covenantal, sacrificial, lifelong commitments to to one another. But now let's hear about the commitment of commitments that our Savior has made to you and to me. Because it's this commitment that will take an insecure person and make him or her secure. Security is huge, guys. Even more so in this increasingly insecure world we're living in. So Christ's covenant commitment to you is your rock-solid anchor of security, and Romans 8:28 is our guide to highlight that. That's why this is— people should ask us this question when we spout out, well, God causes all things to work together for the good for those who love him and those who— well, even unbelievers say things like that. So I think I I think we should be challenged, Christian, with saying, how? How can you know that? How do you know he's gonna cause all things to work together for the good? And you'll say, well, I'm glad you asked me that. Let's look at verses 29 and 30. This is how we know. So I want you, whatever your biggest crisis is right now, everybody has something. It might be a nagging crisis, it's kind of a low-grade constantly on your mind. It may be something you're waking up at 3 in the morning and not sleeping about. And you quote this thing to yourself and you're going, oh gosh, I hope, I hope he's working all things to the good. How do I know? Well, here's how we know. First, it says we were foreknown. It means that in love, God chose us before the foundations of the world, even though the ugliness of our sin made us unchoosable. So let me be sweet here. I'm coming. I'm going to come. I love potato chip breath. Mmm. Isn't it easy to see why I chose her? Isn't it easy? Thank you, babe. Do you know that's not how it works with the Lord? None of us were choosable. See, our world works on, I mean, you know, she's a fox, right? Come on. Do you even say that anymore? I don't even know if you say that anymore. But she's a fox to me, but even it was way better. I mean, her heart for the Lord. There was a lot to choose about you, sweetheart, and still is. I still choose you, babe. A lot to choose about you. You're welcome. Thank you, she said. I don't know if you heard it in the back of the room. That was appropriate. That was a good thank you. That was good. I want you to think about, guys, I want you to think about, you know, here God is in the ever-present. I mean, he's eternal, but he's always in the ever-present. Eternal past, eternal future, what a mystery. It's all in the present to him. So when he is thinking about me, these concepts are even kind of boggling to even think about. He's not thinking about me because I'm choosable. What he knows about me is I will be depraved in sin. That's what he knows about me. He knows the worst about me. So talk about a marriage proposal. Let's call it kind of a heavenly marriage proposal. It's a salvation proposal. God makes a proposal to me, a lifetime commitment, an offer of commitment, knowing the worst about me. I'm choosing you, and you are nowhere near choosable, unless I'm a God of grace, unless I'm a God of mercy, Unless I'm a God who knows the worst about you, and in my love for you, I've already planned before the foundations of the world that my Son is gonna pay the price for all the evil I see in you, even before you've committed it. If you haven't read the book of Hosea for a while, go back and look at the commitment that groom made to a bride who not just left him, but into harlotry, into prostitution. I have— you see, when I read my Bible, I have more in common with that prostitute woman than I have in common with Jesus. Now, now that I'm saved, I'm being conformed to his image. But before I was saved, I was running after my idols. I was— God— and God knew the worst of me. And yet he chose me anyway to save me. And he does that with every believer. And he stays committed to us knowing we would still sin after salvation. He stayed committed to us on his worst day. How do you know? Sometimes if the devil's coming in and saying, sometimes I think the devil is telling me, man, Billy, I wouldn't have even done that. I wouldn't have done that sin. You are really bad. I wouldn't have done that. I'm the devil. I mean, do you sometimes wonder? Do you sometimes wonder, Lord, was that— was there a 15-sin limit to this? Was there a 55-sin limit to this? I just don't know how you could continue to commit to me. When Christ is hanging on the cross and the wrath of God is falling on him. It's not just the blood that's flowing out of his body. It's not just the suffocation that he's experiencing, the wrath of God. Jesus is drinking the cup, and he's going to drink it dry. There's not going to be a drop of that cup for you to drink. He's, he's going to drink it dry. And that's how I know he'll never leave me, because if he stayed committed to my salvation on the cross, on his worst day? That was his worst day. The wrath of God is on Jesus. He stayed on the cross. They were taunting him, weren't they? If you're the Son of God, come off the cross. He proved he's the Son of God, you guys, by staying on the cross. So if he's committed to me on his worst day, Oh my, you know he's gonna stay committed to you in your worst day. Is that good news, you guys? That's what we learn about this being foreknown and how Jesus comes in to pay the price for all the evil that God saw in us. So think about our covenant commitment with each other. That's what we should, we need to be telling the next generation of young people, In thinking about getting married, you're making a commitment to someone not because of all the good you see in them. Is this love? Do you define love this way? Are you making a commitment to the worst about them, not just the best about them? Because if you can't commit to the worst about them like Jesus did for you, I'm not sure it's time to get married. Sometimes I can be a— sometimes people don't like me. Don't you think we should say that? You don't know love then. Love is committing to the worst in someone. Now, do we stay there? No. This isn't a masochistic idea of Christianity, but there is a commitment to someone even though it's their worst, they're at their worst day, but you were committed and still will be committed because that's the way God has treated you. That's the gospel according to marriage. It's committing to the worst parts about each other. If you've been to this conference before, you've heard me say this, and you've seen it, I've described it to you. Since Jan has married me, so 37 years ago, she's been married to at least 8 other men since our wedding day. I like to look at your faces when I say that. Over here, she's saying, "He's worse than I thought." They were all me. I can be a very angry man. She committed to be married to an angry man. You guys, I struggle with depression. It's a constant battle. I need constant help. I need her so much. I need our elder team. The guys here, you guys have helped me in my bouts of depression. She married an angry man. She married a depressed man. I can be fearful. I can be afraid of my own shadow sometimes. She married a fearful man. She married a lazy man because she's such an image of Jesus to me. And you know what? I've grown. And that's what happens when you're loved. You grow. But so many people never get there because people are only as committed as they are comfortable nowadays. That's not like Jesus, you guys. Jesus is committed to the worst about you, but why? How about this, here we go. We've been predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ. So he's committed himself to the worst about us to do what? Bring out the best about us. But now I'm not talking about humanistically, to bring out more and more of the likeness of Jesus in our lives. And that's what marriage is, God wants to use marriage to do. It's that we help each other with our growth in the Lord, we help each other become stronger believers. We get so bogged down about the day-to-day issues of life and we lose sight of the fact that in these tough times, God is helping us and using our marriage to be more like Christ. Not just predestined, we've been called. It's not that we first loved God, but that he first loved us. He made the first move. We would've never have gone to him savingly. He made the first move. He called, we heard him calling our name. Even us here in good old West Texas. Guys, you guys, God doesn't say y'all. I don't think God says y'all. I just don't think he says y'all. Well, maybe he said y'all, whoever will, y'all come. I don't know, maybe. But he called your name. When I hear her say my name, oh, oh no, this is another joke. You guys. So I call her sweetheart. I call her honey, honey bunny. She calls me Boog. It's short for booger. When we were dating, newly dating, she saw me picking— And she tells me, "If you keep that up, I'm going to call you booger." We've been married 37 years. So I guess I still do it. I don't know, but I interpret it as sweetheart, right? I interpret, I hear sweetheart. You might not hear sweetheart, but I hear sweetheart. Isn't there something about someone who loves you calling you by name? It just is a melody. And that's what the Lord does, but it's his first move. It's always being willing to move first. So God, he makes us this way. He has no sin, but aren't we to be the ones that make the first move to ask forgiveness? Aren't we to be making the first move to repent of sin, making the first move to, to deny ourselves again. We are like him, and he called us. He made the first move. He's teaching us to make the first move. Those whom he called have been justified. It's a new identity. He's given us a new life in Christ of being declared legally righteous, and not just in a heavenly courtroom, but adopted as sons and daughters, fully forgiven, counted righteous, accepted, adopted, secure in his love. And that new identity is not Jesus plus something else will make me happy. That new identity is Jesus alone is the key to my happiness, my joy, my hope. It's Jesus alone. And that's really good for a marriage, isn't it? Because you know what? I mean, really, Think about it. I don't know how you guys are doing. On any given day, one of us is giving more love to the other than the other one. I don't know that we're ever 50/50. You guys, don't get me started. I hate that. Well, marriage is 50/50. It is not. Oh, oh. Marriage is— I don't know what. Marriage is Jesus is my all in all. All to him I owe. And so my life is Christ. Living my life means loving others. That's Christianity, isn't it? And that's what Christian marriage is. We're not, it's not me plus a good spouse. It's not Jesus plus a good spouse. That's the key. That's the key to making my life happy. I'm gonna use a phrase, I'm gonna ask you to say it after me. Even a great spouse makes a poor savior. Will you say that with me? Even a great spouse makes a poor savior. John Newton put it this way, the greatest danger to a great marriage is making an idol out of a great marriage. It's looking to your marriage or looking to your spouse to give you what only Christ can give you. And then the last one is that we're glorified. So remember that whole picture of the new heavens and new earth. God speaks of it here in the past tense. It's really wild. He sees our salvation as though we're already in heaven. That's how hopeful he wants us to be. Right? That's how he's never gonna let us go, because he's talking about heaven as though you were already there. That's how strong the promise is, and that's what we need to be aiming at. Essentially what Jesus is saying is, I'm gonna walk you all the way home.

8 · The pastor dramatizes a wedding ceremony with his wife to illustrate the concept of walking each other home to glory

Sweetheart, would you come up and help me with this last little thing? So when I do a wedding, people go, Your pastor is the weirdest guy in the world, because we dramatize some of this stuff in weddings, not in crazy ways, but— so let's say, Jan, you and I just got married, and the preacher said, "You may now kiss your bride. Are you ready? Come on, baby, are you ready?" Okay, and now he says— I just put lotion on my hand. Now he says— what's she telling me? I just put lotion on my hand. And now he says, "I now pronounce you husband and wife," right? And so one of the things I tell the couples is I want you to walk down this aisle, celebrate. Let's celebrate, let's hold marriage in honor. But you have a responsibility. You're not just walking each other to the reception. You're walking each other all the way home. You're walking each other all the way home. I want to one day— I know this is kind of figurative, but at least this is, I think, a biblical ideal— that if I do my job as a husband right, wouldn't it be cool to be able to say, "Jesus, here she is. You put her in my hand, and now I'm putting her back into yours." I've done everything I knew to do to help prepare her for this moment. Lord, would you give her every grace gift that she could have because of the kind of woman she is? And then to back away and just to see her just be face to face with the Lord. And then wouldn't it be the coolest thing to hear the Lord whisper to you? Well done, good and faithful husband. Well done, good and faithful wife. When you think of your marriage, are you thinking of that day? Are you thinking what you want to do to walk her, to walk him all the way home? See, that's Jesus's commitment to you, isn't it?

9 · The pastor completes the argument by showing that security is not the goal but the means—Paul's security in Romans 8 produces the sacrificial heart of Romans 9

And do you see Why, you can be so secure in that. So for the sake of time, I'm not going to read. Would you read the rest of chapter 8 when you go home? Because guess what the rest of chapter 8 is? Neither height nor depth, nor principalities nor powers, nothing in heaven or earth, what? Say it with me. Can separate me from the love of God in Christ. And now you think that the story would end right there. Oh, this is— I'm so secure. His commitment to me has made me so secure. So my question, a little question, a little quiz here. So is the goal of security security? Because that's what we do. We're such goobers. We take things of the Bible, we let them stop with us. They're never intended to just stop. Stop with us. God didn't just make security, oh, I just want you to be secure. An unbeliever can go for that. The reason God makes us secure is so that we, like our Savior, would be people of sacrifice. So if you read into chapter 9, so read the rest of chapter 8, okay, would you do that? I think it'll bless you. Read into chapter 9, and Paul says, it's so bad that there's a chapter break there, Paul, he's so secure, this is what he says next. I'm grieving because so many of my Jewish brethren do not know the Messiah. My heart is breaking. And he tells the Lord, God, if it could make a difference, would you curse me? If they could be saved, if you cursing me would make a difference and it could lead to their salvation, would you curse me? Where does a man get the heart to make a commitment like that? To be— of course, that's not going to happen because someone already was cursed, right? Jesus was already cursed. But he's become a lot like Jesus, hasn't he? He's saying, I'll lay my life down too if it could lead to someone else. Well, that's what happened. Christ's commitment and covenant to him, the security that he has in Christ. What do we do with the security? We lay our lives down in loving sacrifice. And it starts with husband and wife. Amen.

10 · The pastor models covenant renewal through personal testimony and then issues concrete instruction for the moment: couples are to pray together, first thanking God for his love and asking for security, then applying that security to their marriage

So here's how I'd like to end. You know, if I could, I would lower the light. I'm such a— no, I'm a goober here. But you know what? Maybe we could put on some soft music. No, I don't mean it. But you know what? Now and then I feel led to tell Jan, you know, I wanna renew our marriage covenant. I need to renew our marriage covenant because I've lost sight of some things. I've lost sight of loving Jesus the most so I could love you the best. I've been really lazy. I've been really thinking a lot of myself. Lately, I just want to renew my covenant to you because I want to walk you all the way home. I want to walk you all the way home. I think it was Dietrich Bonhoeffer who he was pronouncing a man and woman, husband and wife, and right before he said it, he said, "From this point forward, it won't be love that sustains your covenant," meaning It's not gonna be your feelings that are gonna sustain your commitment. Boy, this is so the world, isn't it? But you know, this can creep into Christians too. Sometimes we think we've fallen out of love. The feelings of love aren't there anymore, so they're, oh, so of course, I guess because the feelings aren't there, we're justified in breaking the commitment. And God is saying, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's your covenant. That sustains the love. The feelings of love will grow again in the soil of covenant commitment. That's what, that's what God's promised to you, but that, that should be your promise to each other too. So I'm going to hush and just give you a few moments to just pray together. And the first thing I would encourage is, Lord, Thank you for reminding me of how much you love me. And help me to grow in the knowledge of your love. Help me to be more secure so that in that security I can lay my life down for my spouse the way Jesus laid his life down for me. And then, Ricky, then you guys would just close.

11 · The pastor acknowledges the public setting and gives permission for varied responses while encouraging even brief initial obedience now with fuller response later

Can you do that? And again, you know, there's a bunch— there's 1,000 people here. I mean, you go Oh yeah, just like Billy doing all this stuff. This is not a romantic— there's all kinds of people here and all that kind of stuff. And you know, but I would say, how about, how about just take a few sentences and start? And then before you turn off the light tonight at home, maybe pray a little bit more about this together, okay? And then we'll get back together tomorrow morning. So can we go ahead and close in prayer? And then Ricky, as the Lord leads you to to close us. Guys, I love you. Thank you so much. That's good, guys.

12 · The conference leader (Ricky) reinforces the pastor's application instructions, offering pastoral nuance about response options and removing false expectations

All right, well, let's do this, guys. Let's just take a minute, and I would love to respond the way that Billy has encouraged us to respond. You know, it just doesn't mean you got to, like, renew your vows and try to remember everything. And what did I vow to you? You know, especially if you wrote your own vows, you're like, what did I— what did I say? I bet your spouse remembers it. But doesn't mean you have to go through all that. But just even just taking a moment and whatever this looks like for you, being quiet before the Lord for a minute or even praying together and saying, Lord, thank you for this relationship. You know, just thanking God for your marriage is one thing you could do to respond in this moment. Or another could be, if you're aware of something that is between you and your spouse, ask for the Lord's help. I think sometimes we feel an ungodly, you know, an ungodly pressure to resolve the conflict before we go to the Lord in prayer, rather than going to the Lord in the middle of something difficult. And so even if you're in the middle of it, just kind of go to the Lord and say, Lord, we're not exactly sure how to resolve this, but in light of your commitment to us, we want to grow our commitment to one another. Would you help us? So John's going to play just for a minute because Billy ordered some soft music. And so John ran down and just get— we take just a minute, just a few minutes here, and I'll close with some prayer in just a second.

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6 discussion questions

In Romans 8:28-30, Paul traces a chain of God's work: foreknowledge, predestination, calling, justification, and glorification. What does Pa…

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5-day reading plan

This week we trace God's sovereign, unbreakable commitment to us in salvation—the foundation that enables us to make and keep secure, sacrificial covenants with our spouses that walk them all the way home to glory.

Prayer

Secure in His Love, Sacrificial in Ours

Father, we stand in awe of your sovereign commitment to us in Christ. You have predestined us, called us, justified us, and glorified us—a c…

Family table

Covenant Keeps Us When Feelings Fade

This prompt invites kids to think about what it means to promise something when it's hard—and to see how God's promise to us in salvation gi…

Couples

Security Frees Us to Sacrifice

What part of the sermon most stirred your heart about God's unbreakable commitment to you—and how did that land differently than you expecte…

Memorize

Romans 8:28-30

This passage anchors the sermon's central claim: God's sovereign, unbreakable commitment to our salvation—displayed in the unbroken chain from foreknowledge to glorification—is the secure foundation that enables us to make sacrificial, covenant commitments to our spouses. Every link in this chain assures us that God will complete what He has begun, giving us the security to love sacrificially as Christ has loved us.

Couples · three questions over coffee

Security Frees Us to Sacrifice

What part of the sermon most stirred your heart about God's unbreakable commitment to you—and how did that land differently than you expected?
As a couple, where do you sense the gospel calling you to more sacrificial love for each other, knowing that God's covenant with you will hold even when sacrifice feels costly?
What is one specific way your spouse needs to experience Christ's steadfast love through you this week, and how can we pray for God to give you both the grace to follow through?

Draft · pending review

Small-group discussion

6 questions for your group this week

In Romans 8:28-30, Paul traces a chain of God's work: foreknowledge, predestination, calling, justification, and glorification. What does Paul mean by presenting these not as separate events but as a single, unbroken chain—and why does that matter for how we understand God's commitment to us?

Romans 8:28-30

→ How does knowing that God has already determined your glorification change the way you approach a difficult season in your marriage right now?
The sermon argues that marriage's significance lies not in whether it makes us happy but in whether it reflects God's covenantal faithfulness. How does that reframe what marriage is *for*—and what does it mean to see your marriage as preparation for eternity rather than as a means to earthly fulfillment?

Revelation 19:7-9
What does it reveal about our hearts that we often struggle to make sacrificial commitments to our spouses—to stay faithful, to serve, to forgive—when things become difficult or when love feels absent? What weakness or fear does that surface in us?

→ When have you been tempted to condition your commitment on your spouse's performance or on your feelings of love?
According to the sermon, Christ's unbreakable covenant with us (shown in Romans 8:31-39) is the foundation that enables us to make unbreakable covenants with our spouses. How does grasping the security of Christ's commitment to you—even at your worst—free you to commit to your spouse at their worst?

Romans 8:31-39
The sermon claims that 'the goal of security is not security itself but sacrifice.' What does that mean—and how should it reshape the way you think about God making you secure in his love?

→ Where is Christ calling you this week to lay your life down sacrificially for your spouse, and how does your security in his love enable that?
The sermon states that covenant commitment sustains love, not the reverse—that feelings of love grow again in the soil of covenant fidelity. What would change in your marriage if you truly believed this promise and acted on it?

Hosea (the book)

Draft · pending review

Daily readings · Monday–Friday

5-day reading plan

Monday Romans 8:31-39

Paul's crescendo—"If God is for us, who can be against us?"—rests on the bedrock of predestination and calling established in Romans 8:28-30. This passage expands the security of God's election into a battle cry: nothing in creation, no accusation, no circumstance can separate us from Christ's love. When we grasp this immovable security in God's grace, we are freed from the paralyzing fear that our spouse's weakness or our own will disqualify us from covenant—just as nothing disqualifies us from Christ's commitment.

Tuesday Ephesians 1:4

Before the foundation of the world, God chose us to be holy and blameless before him in love—a vision of ultimate sanctification that culminates in our presentation as Christ's spotless bride at the marriage supper of the Lamb. Our marriages today are rehearsals for that final union; every act of covenant-keeping, every sacrifice made in love, trains our hearts for the gladness of eternity. We do not marry for time alone but for the formation of a Christlike character that will endure and flourish forever.

Wednesday Hosea (the book)

Hosea's unbreakable pursuit of Gomer, even after her infidelity, mirrors God's covenantal faithfulness to Israel and shows us that genuine love is not a feeling that precedes or preserves commitment but a fruit that grows when we refuse to abandon our vow despite emotional drought or betrayal. The prophet demonstrates that covenant-keeping *is* love-making—that when we hold fast to our promise to our spouse through seasons of distance or indifference, we are, in fact, cultivating the very affection we fear has died. God's promise sustains ours; His faithfulness to us models and empowers our faithfulness to each other.

Thursday Romans 9:1-3

Paul's anguish—willing even anathema from Christ for the sake of his kinsmen—flows not from anxiety but from the unshakeable assurance of his standing in Christ. His security in God's election freed him to face loss and death for others' sake; he need not cling to comfort because his ultimate belonging was already settled. In marriage, our security in God's sovereign salvation does not justify self-protection or the pursuit of personal happiness above covenant; rather, it calls us to Paul's same glad willingness to lay down our preferences, our comfort, and our lives for the good of our spouse, knowing that no sacrifice made in love can separate us from Christ.

Friday Revelation 19:7-9

The marriage supper of the Lamb—the consummation of all redemptive history—reveals that marriage is not a temporary convenience but a God-ordained mirror of the most significant covenant in the universe: Christ's union with His redeemed people. When we honor our marriages, study them, fight for them, and sacrifice within them today, we are not merely preserving a human bond; we are participating in God's cosmic narrative of covenant faithfulness and preparing ourselves to join the eternal celebration where Christ will present His spotless bride. Let us, therefore, commit to our spouses with the weight and wonder of eternity in view.

Draft · pending review

Pray together this week

Secure in His Love, Sacrificial in Ours

Father, we stand in awe of your sovereign commitment to us in Christ. You have predestined us, called us, justified us, and glorified us—a chain of grace so unbreakable that nothing in heaven or earth can sever it (Romans 8:28-30). We marvel that you have bound yourself to us with an covenant love that holds even when we are at our worst, and we worship you for this immeasurable security.

Yet we confess, O God, that we often shrink from the sacrificial commitments you call us to make in marriage. We hold back our love when our spouses disappoint us. We condition our covenant on the comfort we receive rather than the glory we serve. We forget that you have secured us not for our ease but for our transformation, and we live as though our marriages exist primarily for our happiness rather than for our preparation to meet you in eternity.

But the gospel humbles us and frees us at once: in Christ, you have already committed to us at our worst. He bore our betrayals, our coldness, our selfishness, and by his unbreakable covenant, he rose to secure our place at the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7-9). Because we are already loved with a love that will never fail, we are liberated to love our spouses as Christ loved the church—not because they deserve it, but because we have first received what we do not deserve.

Grant us, we pray, the grace to renew our covenant vision this week. Help us to see our spouses not through the lens of present feelings but through the lens of eternal glory—as companions being refined for that final day. Give us courage to make the sacrificial commitments that honor our marriages and reflect your covenantal faithfulness. And as covenant commitment sustains love, may we taste again the joy of loving and being loved, knowing that feelings of affection grow in the soil of faithfulness (Hosea). Make us, like Paul, willing to lay down our lives in loving sacrifice, beginning with the one you have given us.

To you, O God, who are able to keep us from stumbling and to present us blameless before your glorious presence—to you alone be glory, majesty, power, and authority through Christ our Lord. We commit ourselves and our marriages to your care.

Draft · pending review

Sunday-evening family table

Covenant Keeps Us When Feelings Fade

For the parent

This prompt invites kids to think about what it means to promise something when it's hard—and to see how God's promise to us in salvation gives us strength to keep our promises to each other. Listen for their instinct about whether promises can be kept even when emotions shift.

Pastor Billy talked about how God promised to stick with us all the way to heaven, even when we mess up and don't feel close to Him. If God keeps His promise to us even when we don't feel lovey-dovey toward Him, what do you think that means for how a husband and wife promise to stay committed to each other, even when they don't feel excited about each other anymore?

works for ages 8+; younger kids can listen and offer simple observations with parental guidance

Draft · pending review

Memory verse this week

Romans 8:28-30

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Why this verse: This passage anchors the sermon's central claim: God's sovereign, unbreakable commitment to our salvation—displayed in the unbroken chain from foreknowledge to glorification—is the secure foundation that enables us to make sacrificial, covenant commitments to our spouses. Every link in this chain assures us that God will complete what He has begun, giving us the security to love sacrificially as Christ has loved us.

Draft · pending review

Where this was preached

About the church

Cross of Grace Church

About us · What we believe

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# Cross of Grace Church

A church preaching expository sermons through the books of the Bible.

## Sermons
- [Session 2: God's Sovereignty in Salvation Gives Us Security in Our Sacrifices (Romans 8:28-30, 2023-08-18)](/CoGElPaso/sermons/2023/08/session-2-god-s-sovereignty-in-salvation-gives-us-security-in-our-sacrifices)

## About
- [About the church](/about)
- [Plan a visit](/visit)

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