I love you, buddy. I love you. Thank you so much. It is so good to see you. But you know what? I think I saw John Bogan spiking the drinks. I just— I don't know. I don't know. He was too excited. He was too excited about a cola. I think it was just something more. It is a joy to be with you guys tonight. Tonight. And I'm so thankful that— gosh, we presented the Gospel According to Marriage here. Is this the third time? I think the third time. So either that's saying that it's been meaningful or it's saying that the elders, they're hoping I get it right this time. So that— you'll be the judge of that. You'll be the judge of that. And I know the Lord has really blessed this church with Gospel Growth. And so there's many faces here that I know and have been blessed to know for a long, long time. And I'm so thrilled about that. That's been one of the joys of our life is the impact of this church and your pastors in my life, my wife's life, our leadership's life for many, many, many years now. But I also know there's a lot of new people. And so, you know, one of the highlights for me this weekend would be to meet you. I would just love to meet you. I'd love to just hear the story of what God's doing in your life. And that would just be awesome. That'd be awesome.
So there's a lot to cover. So can we begin? I'm not gonna start with prayer. I'm gonna give a couple verses and then we're gonna go into prayer. And I think you'll see why. So could you open your Bibles to Hebrews chapter 13. We're going to start with this great passage. It's just one verse, but oh my goodness, this verse packs a punch. And it sets a great tone for why we're here this weekend. So the writer to Hebrews in verse 4 says this: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulteress.
Boy, what a sentence. I mean, the first part is encouraging, exhorting, almost poetic. There's a vision. There seems to be almost a fragrance to that. And then it goes into judgment. Wow. For you to go from this lofty sentence about holding marriage in honor And then yoking that to a verse on judgment? There must be more to this than meets the eye. And I'm hoping that you'll see that tonight and tomorrow. Why such a big deal? Just the word honor tells us a lot. You know, the English language is so limited in some of the things that it tries to portray. The word honor in Hebrews 13 actually can have two shades of meaning. They both are pointing at the same thing. It's really the same definition. But it's used in two different ways.
The first way would be— probably we would most relate to this in terms of a sporting event. So I don't know what sports you like, if you're a soccer person or a football person, which the soccer people would say, 'I've stopped listening to you when you said that,' because soccer is football. Or you're a Cowboys fan, or you're, I don't know who you're rooting for, who your team is. It might be your kid's high school. But there's something that happens whenever the team has worked together in such a way that it has resulted in a score, especially if that score is at the end of the contest. So I was a baseball player, so walk-offs were what we just dreamed of doing, walk-off singles or walk-off home runs. And so what would happen is we would react a lot to just that moment in the game. But really, if you really looked at it, that wasn't just based on that one person. So let's talk about if it was a baseball player. That baseball player at some point was a little dude, and his parents invested into him, and coaches invested into him, and other players invested into him. And there was a lot of camaraderie and work and teamwork together that resulted resulted in something worth celebrating. Now I raised my voice there because that's really what the text does. What it's saying is let marriage be celebrated by God's people.
Not just honored, not just appreciate the fact that maybe it's a way that we're not going to be lonely. It's a way we can have children. There's a lot of great things about marriage, but the text says this is to be celebrated. Now, I love my wife and thank God for our marriage, but we're not exactly jumping up and down celebrating all the time about our marriage. We want to keep doing more of it. I don't think this is pointing to just the marriage between a husband than a wife. I think it's telling us something more. So the second part of it is this. So as loud as that first one was about celebrating marriage, the next one is as reverently quiet.
So I don't know if you've been to Washington, D.C., and you've gone past the Vietnam Memorial. D.C. is a crazy amazing place. So much history and so much, if you ever do it, I would take a tour, but use a Christian historian and take a Christian history tour of D.C. It's amazing. Well, D.C.'s a busy place, a lot of power brokers there, and there's a lot of noise there, except for one place in the city, and that's in front of that memorial. If you've been there before, it's wild. Even approaching it, there seems to be something that almost happens to your soul. Because you approach it and you see people, tears are being shed, people are taking their paper and you know they're getting the imprint of the loved one's name that served and gave his life and they're marking that with pencil and paper and getting the imprint off the wall. I would dare say it's a reverence because someone gave their life for the freedom of someone else.
6 · Synthesizes the two meanings of honor (celebratory worship and sacred reverence) to establish the sermon's foundational claim: marriage is to be honored not as an end in itself but because it represents a greater redemptive reality involving sacrificial love
That's what the verse is saying. It's celebratory. We should hold marriage in honor because it's worth celebrating. I think you could go as far as— you know, some sports fans are worshipers. I think some sports fans declare their worship of their sport or their team more than some Christians declare their worship of the Lord. But it's a worship. It's almost a celebratory worshipful moment, but it's also a sacred, reverent moment because of a life that was given up. Now, do you see why I say I don't think this is just talking about just any couple's marriage? Because I don't know about your marriage, are you always celebrating your marriage? Are you always just on your knees going, 'What a holy marriage we have'? We don't. We don't. I don't think this is pointing to our marriage as the end, as though earthly marriage is the end. I think it's saying it should be held in honor because of what it represents.
7 · Signals the sermon's trajectory toward unpacking why Scripture assigns such enormous significance to marriage
And that's what we're going to be unpacking today. So, the Bible makes a lot of marriage, it makes much of marriage, and we're going to and we're gonna discover more and more, I hope, why.
8 · Establishes historical context for Jeremiah 29—Jewish exiles under pagan rule—then draws canonical connection to New Testament believers as exiles, preparing to show continuity in God's instruction
I want you to see how important is marriage, the stakes are massive. So would you turn to Jeremiah 29? Jeremiah 29. So this is written to the Jews who at this time were in exile in Babylon. So this is not a fun place, right? I mean, if you were in Babylon, depending on how long you were alive during that time, you served under the regime the rule of 4 pagan kings that all had issues. And you were a Jew. You believed in the one true God versus a culture that was plural in its gods and its pagan idolatry and all the sexual immorality and all of those things. And so God sends a message to his children in exile. Now, do you know in the New Testament The Bible speaks of us as people who are also living in exile. We're not living, this is not our home, is it? Our home is in heaven. And so while we're here on this earth, we're exiles. This isn't the place we ultimately belong. And so there's so much to learn by reading what God said to the exiles in the Old Testament because it has shades of meaning that can really encourage us in the New Testament.
9 · Creates hypothetical scenario asking congregation to imagine being a Moses-like leader charged with giving one word of hope to God's people in exile, setting up the surprise of God's actual instruction
So if you were going to advise somebody, okay, so let's say, what is your first name? John. Jonathan. John, we know each other, don't we? Have we met before? Yeah, the last one, okay, thank you. Thank you. So I'm 64. My memory, my memory and I used to be good friends. We used to talk all the time, and now we don't even speak to each other anymore. So please forgive me if I have to get You remind me of your name. So can we just pray? Like you're a Moses figure. Do you ever see him as a Moses figure? That's a good honest, that was good. That was a good expression that you wanted to say yes, but you couldn't. Anyway, so Jonathan, but let's say you're a Moses figure. You've been raised up by God to be a spiritual leader and your people are in exile You wanna send a word of encouragement to them. How do we exist in exile? What one thing could I say? What one thing could I say that would cause them to have hope?
10 · Reads Jeremiah 29:4-7 to reveal God's countercultural instruction: cultural transformation comes not through political power but through ordinary faithfulness—building, planting, marrying, multiplying
And I think if you watched network news, you watched all the different news channels and broadcasts, I think what we would say today is, oh, start building a military, or start voting in the right guys, or there'd be a lot of things we could say to people who were enslaved in exile. Let's look to see what the Bible says. In Jeremiah 29, begin to look in verse 4. Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile— boy, there's a whole story there I don't have time to get into— from Jerusalem to Babylon. Here's what I'm calling you to do. Here's how you change a fallen world, okay? Listen to this. Build houses and live in them. Plant gardens and eat their produce. How about this? Take wives and have sons and daughters. Take wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage that they may bear sons and daughters and multiply there. I want you to think of that word multiply because we're going to go back to Genesis in just a minute. Think of that word multiply. The storyline of the Bible is an amazing storyline. And do not decrease, verse 7, but seek the welfare of the city where I've sent you into exile and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.
11 · Synthesizes Hebrews 13:4 and Jeremiah 29:4-7 to establish that marriage is God's strategic instrument for cultural transformation, not merely private domestic arrangement
Seek the welfare of this pagan culture by getting married. Wow, marriage must be way bigger than maybe we dreamed. Marriage must have more influence and more importance than just the little guys and girls we've got running under our feet at home. Marriage can change culture. Marriage can do something bigger than we ourselves by ourselves could ever do. God makes much of marriage. Honor it. Celebrate it. Treat it reverently. Don't think small of your marriage. It can change your neighborhood and it can change a nation.
12 · Pivots from the claim that marriage can change nations to the question of how, signaling the sermon will now trace this through redemptive history
So what's the big deal? How is all that possible? How is all of that possible? And that's where I want to turn to prayer tonight.
13 · Preacher physically kneels before the congregation, explaining this posture models Christ's servant-leadership and signals that the marriage vision he's about to unfold is not meant to taunt strugglers but to serve and encourage them
So what I want to do, if you don't mind, I'm going to go to my knees. I want to do this for several reasons. You know, I'm an old dude now, and I've just been around people. Anytime you get more than 5 people, that means there's going to be broken hearts. I think the Lord is speaking prophetically just from the very beginning. Why so downcast? O my soul. I want to treat this moment really carefully. You guys, God would not paint an amazing picture of marriage to taunt you with it. He's not trying to torture you. He's wanting to give you a vision and a hope. And I hope that His Word will do that for you. This week. So I've shared this before, and just in terms of training future pastors and elders, I don't know if you've been in a church where you feel like there's an attitude in the preacher, it's almost as though he's talking down to you, like he knows spiritual stuff and how kind of him to give it to me, almost like he wrote it. I just don't see Jesus like that, and we have a real visual for this, don't we? Because in the upper room before Jesus was crucified, what posture did Jesus take in front of these arrogant, self-sufficient, self-glory-seeking guys? He gets on his knees. He washes their feet. So here's what I'm hoping, because I know that there's tender hearts here, And sometimes learning about marriage when you're hurting about your marriage, sometimes you almost shut down listening in one ear. You know, it's hard. It's hard to think of moving forward with this. So here's what I want to do. I think teachers and preachers, when they minister God's word, I think we should serve it up to people. I think we're below them. We esteem you're made in God's image. And we want to serve this to you as a kindness, not lord it over you, not taunt you with what's unachievable, but to serve it up to you.
14 · Shifts from immediate marriage struggles to transgenerational vision, using personal testimony about becoming a grandfather to illustrate that what parents invest in marriage theology shapes not just their children but their grandchildren
Oh, how I pray that God will do that this weekend for us. And I'm old enough to be a lot of your dads. I'm so glad you're here. Because what we're gonna teach this weekend is really transgenerational. This has real hope for your kids. But did you notice even in Jeremiah, it wasn't just your kids, it was your kids' kids. Listen, when I held our first grandchild for the first time, I'm weeping like a baby. But not just that, I gulped because it became, oh my God, Gosh, I didn't understand how important parenting is, and now I'm a grandfather. But you're holding, you're realizing, oh my goodness, I was raising kids for this moment. I was raising kids because of how they would raise this child. And one of the most important things that you'll ever invest into your kids is God's vision and God's biblical plan for marriage. So I hope the text will prove that for you. Don't believe just me in that, okay?
15 · Opening prayer confesses the preacher's own ongoing need for transformation 37 years into marriage and petitions that the Spirit would work through the Word to exalt Christ first so marriage can be rightly honored
So can I pray for us? Heavenly Father, oh, every face I'm looking— I just want to go hug everybody. I just— what precious people, Lord. They've invested time, money. There's babysitting taking place. They had to rearrange schedules. Lord, you know all that. I know I'm not telling you anything. Oh God, would you, by your Holy Spirit, cause your word to do your work in all of our hearts. God, 37 years into marriage, and I still feel in so many ways like I'm in kindergarten. Lord, there's things that are being revealed in my life now at 37 years in, things that need to change, hard attitudes, laziness, apathy. So Lord, so I lift my heart up to you. To you along with every other person in this room. Help us to make much of Jesus so that then we could appropriately make much of marriage. We ask it in Jesus' name, amen.
16 · Establishes the conference's ultimate aim: not marriage improvement as an end but deepened love for Christ as the means to marriage transformation
If you ask me what I would hope a goal would be for this time, it's that you'd actually leave this weekend more in love with Jesus. Because what good will I have done for you if I just helped you have a few little bits and pieces of marriage advice, but your relationship with the Lord wasn't advanced? The vows we use in marriage ceremonies, one of the vows is this: I commit to loving Jesus the best so I can love you the most. That's what I hope we can do this weekend.
17 · Announces pedagogical approach—visual aids tracing marriage through redemptive history—and frames it as answer to prayer about how to display marriage's theological significance
So you guys, now I say all that and all this, I do love you dearly, but you're now gonna become guinea pigs. I'm sorry. I'm gonna, this first session, I'm gonna go through in a way I've never done it before, and that's using visuals. I am not a creative person, but I just really felt like the Lord put something in my heart about a month ago. And it was, I was praying, God, how can we make much of marriage? Can you show me? Just the biblical pathway for why we should think so highly of Christ first and foremost, but the role marriage plays.
18 · Connects the upcoming biblical theology walk-through to the church's 411 evangelism training, establishing that marriage is woven throughout the Bible's redemptive storyline at every stage
And so what this is gonna be about, and we're gonna walk through it pretty quickly, but what this is gonna be about is the redemptive storyline, really first of salvation. It's the redemptive storyline. How many of you took the evangelism training? Did some of you guys take the evangelism training? Are you— Ricky, you're the only one that raised his hand. Did anybody take it? That may have been a different group. I know the church has grown and changed a ton. They may not have known it was evangelism training. Oh, what was it? 411. 411. How many took 411? Oh, there we go. Oh my gosh. Did you see what happened? My mind, my wheels were spinning. I'm going, oh my God, whoa. You know, I'm just, oh, I'm dying. So you learned the redemptive storyline of the Bible. Do you know you cannot study the Bible, you cannot study the redemptive storyline of the Bible without finding marriage on every page, essentially. It's just an illustration. I'm not speaking literally, but without finding marriage in every part of the redemptive storyline of the Bible. Every part.
19 · Introduces visual presentation of creation with Adam alone, observing that only four chapters of Scripture—Genesis 1-2 and Revelation 21-22—depict life without sin, establishing bookends for redemptive history walk-through
So let's dig in. Let me see if you'll see what I see. So this is vision casting. And so we're going to begin. So the reference point, so this is your first visual. And I think it's gonna be up on the board. So we're talking about creation here. And right now we're just gonna start with Adam being alone. And you can see it's not good that he was alone. So your reference point is gonna be Genesis 1 and 2 for this visual. Guys, there are two, the Bible is so filled with talk about sin, right? And really there's only 4 chapters of the Bible, of all of the chapters in the Bible, Only 4 chapters speak of a time with no sin. And it's the first 2 chapters of Genesis and it's the last 2 chapters of Revelation. But I think that says something to us. Because you know the Scripture says without a vision people perish. I think vision really should look both ways. You know that's one of the safest ways to live the Christian life is look both ways. Look back at what God has done. Look forward at what He's promised to do. Let's do that a little bit. And so we're gonna look back in the beginning. We're gonna look back in the beginning and we're gonna move forward to that point in Revelation. And you're gonna see that in just a minute.
20 · Establishes that humanity's creation in God's image (Genesis 1:26-27) constitutes both an inexpressible honor and a mission: to display God's glory globally as His image bearers
The Bible, you guys, begins with a marriage, right? I think parents teaching your children Genesis 1, 2, and 3 would be one of the most important lessons they could leave your home knowing. It's not the only part, but it's a huge part for them to begin learning about. And so what we discover is man is made in the image of God. What I didn't put on this one, and you'll see it on the next one, under creation, if you would put on your, just in your own notes, if you would put this, God's global glory through image bearers. God's global glory through image bearers. So when he creates Adam and Eve, remember the Trinity, they're having a dialogue essentially. Let us make man in our image. I mean, what? Are you kidding, God? What more amazing honor could we have than to be made in the image of the holy, holy, holy God? A God of perfect love and grace and mercy. Oh my goodness, what a privilege. And so there is a mission to just being a human being, to being a believer, is God's global glory through being an image bearer.
21 · Introduces ancient Near Eastern practice of kings placing statues throughout their kingdoms to represent their authority and character in distant territories they could not personally reach
We're gonna have a little bit of fun with this because back in those days where there is no technology, there's no TV, internet, telephone, there's none of this stuff, there's smoke signals maybe, there's couriers that get the news out to people. So how would you tell a world about the nature of a king? Now kings can only be in one place at one time. It takes him months sometimes to get, if his kingdom was big enough, it takes him months for him to get to the furthest parts of his kingdom. So how do the people, how does he govern a people when you live so far away from him? You gotta have good leaders underneath you, but there's gotta be something that represents the king. Well, in those days, what represented the king was his image, and the image was what? Statues. So the statue represented, so if I was a good king, the statue would represent, I don't know, maybe a smiling king. You know, like, you know, the king that lowers taxes. I don't know what you would, what's most important to you, but it was the king.
22 · Interactive object lesson recruiting volunteers to stand as 'statues' throughout the room, visually demonstrating how image bearers spread knowledge of the King throughout His kingdom—connecting ancient practice to Genesis 1-2
So let me do this. So this is a big kingdom here. So could I get one of you at this table just to stand up? You're awesome, my brother. Actually, we could look a little related, man. I want to meet you after this. So my brother, so let's say it's a good king in this kingdom. So can you just put your hand up? 'Cause it's a good king. Okay, 'cause we just made a statue, right? So now this whole territory is learning something about the king. Be thinking where I'm going about the word. We're image bearers, okay? So now this section of the kingdom is, maybe put your hand down a little, whatever's most comfortable. 'Cause they'll take a few minutes. How about somebody at this table? Will somebody at this table stand up? Ah, thank you. You guys are making me sweat again. Hand up. You're an image bearer. Are you picking people that look like you? Well, actually, they're just standing up. I think it's just, maybe it's a father-son thing. I don't know what it is. So now this part of the kingdom is getting a little sense of how good this king is because people see the image of the king. In the statue. Okay, how about here? How about one of you guys? This doesn't have to just be a man, but it can be a man. Now, thank you, my brother. That was so fast. And it's another one. We are— this is familia here. Actually, so I'm Arabic, right? So just so you know. So, but the Moors invaded Spain. There was a lot of mingling of our people, right? So, hand up. Statue. Here's the king. The news of the king is here. So then we go back over here. How about the table right back here? Joe? Joe, would you volunteer? Joe, hand up. Yeah, so look, here again, isn't it amazing? It's like revival's breaking out. You know, look at this. The image of the King is moving and advancing through the kingdom. And let's do just one more. How about this last corner table? One of you four, would one of you four stand? Thank you, my brother. And we just, yes. I pledge allegiance to. So look what we've done here. Do you see why when God is creating humanity, he's thinking of his global glory?
23 · Unpacks Adam's missional calling to work the garden as proto-gospel: God takes Adam from the dust, gives him life, and sends him back into the world as His image bearer—a pattern mirroring the Great Commission
Can you guys thank everybody for helping me? Okay, so that's part of this story. So we have here, so if you look at the thing, God is speaking to Adam, and he's speaking to him in some significant ways. One is missional, and I've got there, he's gonna bring a harvest for the Lord. Where am I getting that? Well, he's told to work the garden. I want you to think about this. Guys, there's so much gospel imagery even in Genesis 1 and 2. And so what he's saying is, Adam, I wanna, so where did God create Adam from? The dirt of the earth, right? So God says, I'm gonna take you out of the world, I'm gonna take you out of what I made you from, I'm gonna take you out from where I rescued you, I'm gonna make you in my image, I'm gonna breathe the breath of life back in you, and then I'm sending you back into where you came from to be my image bearer. Anybody hear the gospel in that? Anybody hear Matthew 28 in that? He said, you guys, it's amazing. God's plan has not changed from Genesis to Revelation. There's a lot of bumps in the road. We're gonna see that in a minute. But that's what his plan is. There's this mission.
24 · Reframes the garden narrative from prohibition-focus to generosity-focus: God provides abundantly to satisfy Adam, warning that soul-satisfaction apart from God leads to destruction
That's how he made Adam. And it's also relational. So we do a lot of stuff about don't eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We make a lot about the commandment. We make very little about how kind God is. In giving who knows what countless beautiful tasty treats to eat from in the garden. But is that just because we watch the Food Channel? Is that just because food is good? No, it's because God is good. And what God is saying is, I will satisfy your soul. If you try to satisfy your soul apart from a relationship with me, all hell, I'm gonna use that word theologically, All hell will break loose.
25 · Establishes Adam's ministerial responsibility to protect the garden through God's word, explaining why God held Adam accountable despite Eve eating first—Adam received the instruction and was prepared to lead and protect
So he's talking to Adam about missional and relational, but there's also a ministerial thing happening here. He's tending the garden, meaning that he's being called to protect it. He's being called to protect it with truth. God spoke. He gave his word. He gave a command. God spoke. And that word was to dominate the garden. It was to prevail. It was the way people would thrive because of the word of God, and he was accountable. He was accountable to God, and precious ones, do you know why God came to Adam when they sinned? Eve took the fruit first, right? And so you always kinda go back and you think, well, why do we get such a hard time, God? It was she that ate the fruit. God made Adam first. He taught him. He was preparing him to cherish a woman he was about to bring into his life. I think, you know, as pastors, I think some of our premarital probably should just be meeting with men some of the time. Because what a high calling and privilege we've been given. To prepare our hearts to love this precious woman the way God loves me. Oh God, prepare me for that.
26 · Clarifies that Adam's 'aloneness' was not loneliness—his fellowship with God was perfect—but missional incompleteness, affirming singles as full image bearers while explaining marriage's unique kingdom purpose
So that's what's happening when Adam, but so here's the deal, he's preparing him to be an image bearer, to bring in a harvest for the Lord, but he's alone. So what's the deal? Does that mean he's lonely? I would argue no. Guys, if Adam was lonely, something was wrong with God. He had perfect fellowship with God. Every question of his life he would have answers to with God. He would have purpose. He has purpose. He has reason for living. He walks with God. He's not lonely. He's alone, meaning that the mission God has planned, though a single person— I don't know if anybody's single here tonight. A single person is an image bearer of God. Just as capable to represent the kingdom of God in the earth as a married couple. God has a unique plan for a married couple, and that's why it wasn't good for Adam to be alone.
27 · Establishes that marriage exists because one human alone—even in perfect fellowship with God—cannot adequately display God's relational nature to creation; complementary union is required
How does Adam communicate being loved by God to the zebra? I named him. That's good, but he doesn't seem to respond the way you'd hope. Well, the only way God could make his glory known is if he made a complement to Adam, a human being like him but different than him, so that together the world could experience the love of God in their relationship.
28 · Introduces second visual showing Adam and Eve together, highlighting the 'for this reason' formula from Genesis 2:24 (later cited in Ephesians 5) to establish marriage's original purpose transcends the couple—it displays God's glory globally
So let's go to the next slide. So now this is creation. With both Adam and Eve in it together, okay? So be thinking, Bible's beginning with a marriage, isn't it? So here is Adam and Eve, and now I've changed the— so I told you to write one title on your first circle. Look at this title. This is God's global glory through the marriage of image bearers. Guys, I'm just— I'm just— I'm going to call out things, and I know I'm just going fast and everything, but I think it's going to make sense. Do you see what I put up there? For this reason. Does that sound like a familiar verse from someplace else in the Bible? Somebody tell me. Somebody knows. Somebody. Oh, honey, do you? Honey. Family members of the— We don't— we're not elders. Oh, you've been to this seminar before. For this reason, a man shall leave father and mother, shall cleave to his wife, the two shall become one flesh. We read our Bibles like, 'Oh, that's the first time. Isn't that good? Wasn't it great that Paul heard the voice of the Lord and now for the first time in human history, There's a reason for marriage. No, no, no, no, no. 63-year-olds should not jump up and down. For this reason, there's a reason, and it started in the garden. God's global glory through the marriage of image bearers.
29 · Unpacks the dual arrows in the visual—Adam's devotion to both mission and marriage—correcting the common masculine error of pursuing mission at marriage's expense, establishing their inseparability
So there's Adam. And so these arrows, I want you to see the arrows within this circle. He's devoted to mission. He's devoted to bringing a harvest for the Lord. So that involved working the garden. He's devoted to that. But man, there's so many little messages within this message. He can't just be, he is not gonna succeed in his mission in the world unless he's also succeeding in his marriage with his wife. So do you see the two arrows? Do you see the two arrows? He's devoted to mission. So this is where a lot of guys, we mess up. We get a sense of what it means to be devoted to mission, and we relegate fruitfulness in the home to just our wives. It's, you know, I'll bring home the bacon kind of guy. You do all the heavy lifting with the children. And so that's not what this is saying. It's in the beginning, right, there's no sin. And so his vision for being a husband was devoted to mission, devoted to marriage, because if this isn't working well, we're never gonna reach the world. We're never gonna reach the world.
30 · Applies the creation pattern to pastoral qualification: the elder's faithful love for his wife is not ancillary to ministry but the ministry's most powerful sermon
So think about it. If anybody's thinking about being an elder, a pastor, you're wondering if you're being called to be a pastor, what is one of the chief character qualities of being an elder? One woman, man. One woman, man. His life, the way he loves her, is his best sermon.
31 · Explains the complementary orientations in unfallen marriage: Adam oriented outward to mission while oriented to her; Eve oriented to Adam while oriented to mission—their interdependence sourced in her creation from his side, near his heart
So that's what we're called to be, guys. Devoted to the mission of God's name and image and glory being spread throughout the world. How is it to happen? The way I love her, the way she submits and respects to me, and we'll talk about that. There's gonna be love on both sides. There's gonna be respect on both sides. You'll see tomorrow we're gonna talk about submission and how that works and applies to both people and uniquely to the wife as well. But that's what's happening here. And so notice Adam is oriented to going into the world that God rescued him from, that God created him from. Eve was made where? Not out of the dirt, out of his side. So we kind of made that poetry. You may have heard that at weddings. Eve was made out of his side, not out of the top of his skull to lord over him or under his heel for him to step on. Have you ever heard that? You haven't heard that? That's how old I am. That's probably— God, his references are really old. Well, those things aren't bad. I like this one better. He made her from the part of him that was probably as close to his heart as any anything, because they were interdependent.
32 · Synthesizes the complementary pattern: Adam from dirt, oriented to world mission but requiring healthy marriage; Eve from Adam, oriented to Adam but for joint mission—neither can succeed alone
So isn't it interesting? Adam is made out of the dirt from which he came. He's oriented to that, and he's called to give himself to marriage because that's never gonna be accomplished without this being healthy. She, her first focus is toward him. She very much cares about the one from whom God made her, and that is to do what? For them to be in mission together. So she's very much oriented to community. She's very much oriented to his heart, to knowing that he can't do this by himself. We'll talk about all that tomorrow, but it's this beautiful picture of this complementary relationship between Adam and Eve.
33 · Establishes theological foundation for complementarity: absolute equality in dignity, love, and worth, with differences in calling—Adam to protect/provide/proclaim, Eve to respect/rescue/reveal as helper
They were totally equal. So let's get our noses back on our papers. They were totally equal in being loved by God. They were totally equal in dignity. They were totally equal in worth. They were different though, but the differences were complementary. Adam was called to protect her physically and spiritually, provide for her spiritually and physically, and proclaim the word to her. Eve was very similar things, but she was called to respect him. She was called to be a rescuer of him. She was called to reveal more and more of God to him as his helper.
34 · Reframes Genesis 2:23 not as romantic poetry but as covenant vow—Adam speaking to God before speaking to Eve, establishing that marriage vows are fundamentally declarations before God, initiating covenant storyline
So Adam makes this amazing, it sounds like poetry. I think some people say this was the first love song of the Bible. Oh, this is really old reference. Anybody that's old as me, oh, who was it? Larnell Harris or no. Who was Bone of My Bone? Who said, who sang, you are bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh? Not the guy at our wedding. We did have that song at our wedding. But again, sometimes we can just kind of move the Bible to a place that's just not carrying the impact. When Adam comes and Eve— God brings Eve to him. God walks Eve down the aisle to give her away. Can you imagine that? It's daunting just to receive your bride from her husband. Can you imagine? This is her father. And he walks Eve down the aisle for him to receive, and Adam breaks out with a covenant vow. He's standing before the Lord, because your covenant was made before God. Before it was a declaration to your spouse, it was a declaration to God because of the grace that God was giving you to do this. So he says, This now is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And so now here comes the covenant storyline of the Bible.
35 · Uses dialogue with his wife to establish the sermon's central pastoral claim: the best part of Eden wasn't the perfect marriage but God Himself, and this remains true—God makes marriage beautiful, not the spouse
And so let me ask you this. So having said all that, what do you think was the best part of the garden? Would anybody venture? Let's have a little audience participation. What do you think after saying all that? What do you think? Your first reaction. Don't think too hard because you'll probably get the answer. So just give me your first reaction so I can tell you you're wrong. How nice is that? What a horrible man I am. But really, let's just be real. What's your first reaction to what, what, what was the best part of being in the garden here? Fellowship with who? Oh, babe. Okay, you've answered. You haven't taught that at other schools. So sometimes my wife, my wife and I never fight. We just have intense fellowship. You guys, did you hear what she said? It would be so easy to go, man, I wish I had a marriage like that. Gosh, the best part of the marriage would be having a husband like that, having a wife like that. That's not the best part of the marriage. The best part of the marriage was that they walked with God in the cool of the day. It was God. God was the best part of marriage. That's what made this picture unbelievably beautiful, and it's what can make your story unbelievably beautiful too. Amen. Oh, you guys.
36 · Introduces the fall's corruption of marriage theology: from God's glory through image bearers to personal fulfillment without God or change—the 'soulmate' mythology that dominates secular and Christian culture
Okay, how we doing? Oh, I think I can go pretty quickly right there. I can get through these last pretty quickly, but then here we go. Here comes the fall. Now, the banner that marriage exists for His global glory through the marriage of His image bearers. Oh my goodness. Here we go. Now marriage is understood as personal fulfillment. No need for God unless He's going to give me personal fulfillment. There are plenty of people that pray prayers to God, have nothing to do with His glory, have everything to do with my comfort. No need for God and no requirement to change, which is often a major point. Premarital counseling. Sometimes people think, 'I want my soulmate. I want to meet my soulmate.' Typically what a soulmate is, is somebody who accepts me as I am and doesn't require me to change. That's my soulmate. Well, that's just not a biblical plan for marriage, and you ain't all that either, right?
37 · Exposes Satan's dual strategy in Genesis 3: not only separating humanity from God through sin but also attacking marriage's structure by reversing roles—tempting Eve to lead and Adam to abdicate
And so here comes, Satan comes into the picture through the serpent. He's an alternate voice of authority. And his goal is to destroy relationships with sin, with the introduction of sin. And so what we typically think of is, so the whole issue of this part of the story is that his goal was to destroy just Adam's relationship with God, just Eve's relationship with God. But from the very beginning, you see his strategy, you see his ill intent, because he didn't just, throw temptation in that puts separation now between a sinner and a holy God, did you see how he also attacked the structure of marriage? He attacked the structure of marriage. Who did God make first? He made Eve. Sorry, I'm rewriting the story. I'm sounding a little devilish there. He made Adam first. Satan doesn't come to Adam. Satan comes to Eve. He says, 'You lead. You're equal. You're same in dignity. You're same in value. God loves you the same.' You lead. And if He had any voice of speaking to Adam, and you know what He's telling Adam, 'Hey, you deserve a break today. You follow.' And with the eating of the fruit, God's people are separated from Him by sin, and God destroys— Adam Satan and temptation and sin devastates not just marriage, but the way marriage was supposed to function, all because of an alternate authority.
38 · Applies Satan's alternate-authority strategy to contemporary marriage: romance novels, unbiblical counsel, divorce attorneys—calling congregation to identify and reject competing voices
This is one thing that when I was praying today, are you listening to any alternate authorities right now in regard to your marriage? Satan's still the same. So that alternate authority may be coming from romance novels. It may be coming from stuff that just is not biblical. Maybe you shared a problem with your spouse, with someone, and they're telling you, they're talking, they're giving you a card for a divorce attorney. Are there alternate authorities that you're listening to? 'Cause his plan is still the same. He still wants to mess your walk up with God to mess that up. And he wants to mess up the structure of your marriage that God designed for you to thrive in. So be careful with that. What alternate authority?
39 · Traces post-fall male corruption: Adam shifts from 'bone of my bone' covenant love to 'that woman' blame-shifting, manifesting either as dictator (domineering leadership) or abdicator (passive abdication of responsibility)
So now there's not equal anymore. Now they're contending for supremacy. You remember Adam said, 'You're bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.' He goes from that to saying, 'That woman!' You gave me. So he's bitter, he's angry, he's blame shifting, not just to her, but he's telling God that God didn't do it right. Wow. Satan really did some stuff here, didn't he? So now the roles are different, but they're now corrupted. Adam falls into two temptations that we inherit from Adam, men, that we can fall into. One is to to be a dictator, to lead with a raised voice. God forbid that it be— a raised voice is distasteful enough. We live in a culture where it's not just raised voices, it's raised hands, it's raised fists. That came from Adam's fall. He now became a dictator or he became an abdicator, which I think is a problem with Christian men. I think Christian men, we've kind of grown up in this culture Maybe some feminization of the culture where the best way we can love our wives is just to say all the time, 'Whatever you want, honey.' 'Oh, whatever you want, honey.' 'Oh sure, honey, whatever you think.' 'Whatever you want, honey.' I think if you ask a wife if all she heard from her husband was that, she would feel that was as oppressive as the dictating because everything is landing on her. He doesn't have to get blamed for anything. He's a dictator, he's an abdicator.
40 · Traces post-fall feminine corruption: Genesis 3:16's 'desire' is not romantic but reflects either usurping leadership or quiet manipulation—both corruptions of Eve's helper design
Eve becomes, her desire it says, Adam it says will rule over her. Scripture says Eve will desire him, that's not romantic. The Hebrew word reflects either a usurper trying to say, I don't like my role, I want the leadership role, so Satan really infected her with that. Or she can go the other way, she can be quiet. And just be a manipulator, but it's quiet. So whether that's withholding sex, whether that's letting him feel like, okay, what if I do nothing? Nothing's— you watch how this house will go if I imitate you. Yeah, that's a way for us to be married. Let's both imitate each other's wrongs. That's what sin did to the whole thing.
41 · Argues the darkest moment in human history was between Adam's sin and Genesis 3:15's promise—the only moment without hope of Messiah—then applies this: because Christ has come, no marriage is hopeless
So I wanna close, I wanna go to the last one. With this. Did you know, I think I could say this accurately, that the darkest hour in human history was when Adam and Eve sinned and before God said, 'There's a serpent there's a conquering King who's going to crush the serpent's head. What was life like when there was no promise of the Messiah and all you had was a dead soul to God and a dead marriage? The reason I say that As horrible as that is, I mean, that would be a dark night of the soul, wouldn't it? That's a dark night of the soul. And then you hear God say, 'Out of your family tree is going to come the Messiah.' That was the only time humanity could honestly say, it was hopeless. That can never be said again. It can never be said again. There's no one in this room— there's no hopeless marriage. The Messiah has come. He's come. The promise was fulfilled. There is no more dark night of the soul. There's no more dead souls. Dead soul to God for those who have come to know Christ as Lord and Savior. There's no more dead marriage. There may be marriage in process, marriage that needs work, marriage that needs counsel, marriage that needs help. Welcome to marriage. Welcome to marriage. We all need counseling. We all need that. That's wisdom. That's not folly. That's not your failing. That's wisdom.
42 · Introduces redemption visual showing marriage restored through gospel, arguing Christ's death redeemed not only individual sinners but marriage itself, restoring the 'for this reason' purpose from Genesis
But then the story of redemption comes and it looks much like It looks much like Eden. It looks much like the world before sin. So now here we go, redemption, God's global glory through the marriage of— oh, I'm sorry. Did we do redemption yet? Can we go back one? I did say the last one, but we'll do this. God's global glory through the gospel according to marriage. That's where we get the title of this conference, but it's just throughout the Bible. We could have used that. It's just that the gospel has not been declared in Genesis as clearly as it has in the New Testament. But now this is God's mission, not just through married couples, through singles too. But for this, for our purposes, God's global glory through the gospel according to marriage. You wonder why marriage is to be held in honor among all? You wonder why it's to be celebrated? Because it's victory in this. You wonder why we're humbled by it and want to worship the Savior who shed His blood to make it possible? Because when Jesus died, He redeemed us personally as sinners, but He also redeemed marriage. He redeemed marriage. For this reason, Ephesians says, it's restored.
43 · Details how gospel redeems each corrupted role: Adam's dictator/abdicator becomes sacrificial lover providing security; Eve's usurper/manipulator becomes helper giving hope and promoting holiness—the 'reverse of the curse
The husband sees that there's a mission. There's a Gospel mission. Mission to follow. But it can't be done at the expense of the marriage. Both have to be done. The wife, she's devoted to being a helper of her husband so that together they can fulfill the mission. Equality. Equality is magnified. Loved by God. Dignity and worth. And did you notice we could really essentially say this is the reverse of the curse. In the curse, Adam was a dictator and an abdicator. And so here's what the Gospel targets those qualities. And now the reverse of the curse is he lives sacrificially in his love. His love and his care give her security, and he wants her to grow as a follower of Christ. She is his helper. God aims all of this at the abuse of her role when she was a sinner. But now she's not a sinner. She's redeemed and marriage is redeemed. And now she's a helper. She gives hope to the marriage, and she wants to promote holiness too.
44 · Signals transition to closing illustration that will tie redemptive storyline together and prepare for tomorrow's sessions
This is the way we'll close. I'll introduce the next section with the last page, because we do want to talk about marriage from the beginning of the Bible to the end of the Bible. If you've been at this before, you've seen this. So this is an old illustration, but it's one I do just for my own soul.
45 · Establishes the need for ongoing gospel-centered vision because the world's marriage narrative constantly competes with what Scripture teaches
So for that redemption slide, We have to see marriage differently, right? So what we've just talked about in these last 45 or 50 minutes, the world's not talking about marriage like this, is it? And it's just easy for us to kind of look away from what we've just learned and kind of look at marriage again according to what I want it to be or what she wants it to be. We've constantly got to see it to see it through the gospel.
46 · Personal testimony about wishing for cross-shaped vision permanently imprinted on eyeballs, followed by congregation member's gift of cross-embossed glasses making the metaphor literal
I told our church years and years ago when I was first better understanding gospel centrality, I said, you know what I wish? I wish I could go to an eye doctor and instead of getting LASIK surgery so that I could get 20/20 vision back or whatever and not need my glasses, you know what I wish? I wish that doctor could, with that laser, could just put a cross on both of my eyeballs. 'Cause I don't wanna see the world the way the world sees it. I forget about Jesus too often. I love myself too often more than I love my wife. So I said that. The next Sunday I go to the pulpit and I say, 'Would you please open your Bibles?' And there's a glasses case on the pulpit and I'm going, 'I am losing it. Aren't I wearing my glasses? You know what I mean? What is this?' So while they're opening their Bible, I open this up and oh my goodness. Can you close— I'm going to sound like we're third graders. Can you close your eyes? Could you close your eyes for just a minute? Close your eyes. Okay, go ahead and open them. Can you guys over there see what I've got? Can you see? Can you guys over there see what I've got?
47 · Demonstrates the cross-glasses by looking at his wife through them, showing how seeing Christ's love first transforms how he sees and treats her—embodying 'gospel according to marriage
Jan says, 'The only bad part about this illustration is it's really cool at first, but you leave them on and you start looking kind of weird.' But can I just— and this is how we'll go to dinner. Can I just get you to think of it this way? So I'm just going to do this with Jan. It makes a huge difference if I'm just seeing her through my natural wisdom, my natural inclinations, my desires. My goals. You guys, when I see the cross before I see anyone else— so first of all, what am I doing? I'm remembering, oh my, I am so dearly loved. I forget how much you love me, Lord. I'm so forgiven. You've been so patient with me. You never give up on me. Your kindness. You delight in me? Is that what I heard the Bible say? And then I don't just look at the cross, I look through the cross at this beautiful woman. How can I not forgive her the way that the Lord's forgiven me? How can I not be patient with her the way the Lord's been patient with me? This is the gospel according to marriage.
48 · Closing prayer synthesizes the session's movement through fall and redemption using Keller's formulation (more sinful than we believe, more loved than we hope), grounding conference purpose in deeper love for Christ enabling better spousal love
Can we pray? Heavenly Father, oh, how we love you. Oh, Lord. Lord, we would say, I think it was Tim Keller, Lord, that said it, but you know, we're looking at the fall and what the fall did to our souls and what it did to marriage. God, we really are more sinful than we dare believe, than we really wanted to to dare even believe. But then when we look at the cross, we're more loved than we dared even hope for. God, You're the best thing about this conference. You're the best thing about our marriage. Help all of us. Help us each to grow closer to Jesus experience more of His love. We want to love Him the most so we can love our spouses the best. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen.