Awesome. Well, if you're new here, my name is Ricky. I am one of the pastors here at the church. It is good to see everybody back in the building this week. And it is. Oh man. It's yet another week we get to gather and sit under the word of God. So I want to open, I invite you to open your Bibles to Titus chapter two. And as you turn there, let me just share with you. I really do have a burden for this week and next week in particular. We're about to enter a string of texts in Titus that I don't think could be more crucial given the cultural confusion around us. We're going to talk today about what it means to be a man. We're going to talk next week about what it means to be a woman. We're going to talk the following week about marriage, what marriage is, then about work, then about how to change. And so this, this next few weeks I think is going to be crucial for us as a church and as we lay foundations in the middle of a changing, shifting culture.
The glorious thing is that the Bible doesn't change. Opinions change, influencer takes change, but the Bible doesn't change. Cultures change, peoples change, nations change, but the Bible doesn't change. And so let's gather around Titus, chapter two, verses one through eight and the unchanging word of God. This is God's word.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober minded, dignified, self controlled, sound in faith, in love and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works. And in your teaching show integrity, dignity and sound speech that cannot be condemned so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. This is God's word. And Lord, we pray for your blessing on the preaching and the hearing of your word today. Amen.
We live in a moment when masculinity and manhood are in crisis in our culture. Manhood is broken, fractured, corrupted, demeaned, misused and misunderstood all around us. Just a handful of statistics that I think illustrate this. Men commit 70% of violent crimes in America and 75% of felonies. Men are four times more likely to contemplate or to commit suicide. And men report that the number of friends that that they have, or close friends rather, that they have, has fallen in half in the last generation. And 15% of men today report no close friends at all, no one they can turn to when it comes to work. In one generation, men and women went from being equally likely to hold college degrees to men dropping 10 percentage points below women. Suddenly, and even outside of college, the share of men in the Labor Force has dropped 10 percentage, and no one's quite sure where they went. Just 10% of guys just dropped out of the labor force. In dating, the number of men dating in real life has gone drastically down, and unsurprisingly, the use of pornography or online substitutes for relationships is dramatically up. And men are delaying or not pursuing marriage at all in many cases. I could go on, but these contradictory statistics tell us one thing, that manhood is in crisis. Now, in some quarters, the impulse has been to say, okay, well, we know what the problem is. The problem is manhood itself. It's masculinity itself is the problem. And the impulse in some quarters has been, okay, well, men, the solution for you is just to become more like women in emotion, in ambition, in relationships. Just act more like the girls. And that has not worked broadly. In fact, it's created a cultural blowback toward men, young men in particular, gravitating toward hyper masculine stereotypes and influencers online, gravitating essentially to whoever is the brashest, loudest, most steroided out guy that they can find online. Let's follow this guy. But here's the good news. In the middle of a culture of constant confusion, the good news is that the Gospel rescues and restores manhood.
The Gospel rescues and restores manhood. And the reason I say that is Titus 2:1 tells us that all of the things that we're reading come under the heading of sound doctrine. Teach what accords with sound or healthy doctrine. And the need of the day is for Gospel doctrine, sound doctrine to, to apply, to be applied to areas like manhood and womanhood and work and government, and and to begin to shape all of those areas with what accords with sound doctrine, meaning to bring those areas into alignment. If if the sound doctrine of the cross is the the measuring, what Titus does is it begins to Paul begins to work his way outward and going, okay, manhood needs to come in alignment, womanhood needs to come in alignment. Work needs to come into alignment with the straight line of the Gospel doctrine he has been laying out.
So I'm going to give you my argument up front. It is longer than normal, but I don't want there to be any confusion. So here it is. The Gospel rebuilds men to be strong and steady in the image of Christ. For the work of Christ. We're going to work through that in, in multiple sections as we work our way through Titus chapter two. But we're going to begin first with the pattern of manhood and how the Gospel rebuilds men. Now, I want to back up and make sure that we're reading Titus 2 in the context of Paul and Titus's reading relationship. So this is Paul the Apostle writing to one of his proteges, Titus. And we learn about their relationship in Titus 1, verse 4, where he says to Titus, not just my co worker, not just my lieutenant, not just my whatever. He says, Titus, my true child in a common faith. Now these two men and the relationship in the New Testament is beautiful and you should look it up. It is compelling. But I want to use, I want to pull a couple things out of their relationship that shape how we understand Titus 2. Number one, the relationship between Paul and Titus is based on the Gospel. Now these are two men that would not normally have found themselves, well, on the same project. They wouldn't have found themselves in the same room. Paul is a, as he would describe himself later, a Jew of Jews and a Pharisee of Pharisees. He is the peak of what it means to be a Jew and ethnically, politically, in the beginning of the New Testament, culturally, all of that. And Titus is not a Jew at all. Titus is in fact a Gentile. And they share nothing in common in ethnicity, in religious background. They don't look like one another. They didn't have the same childhoods. In fact, they should be opposed to one another. And yet they're united and brought together. In fact, Paul brings Titus along to the Jerusalem council in Acts 15 and, and basically says, see this man? He's one of the Gentile believers. And we don't, we're not going to require him to become Jewish. We're going to, we're going to see that God has brought him into the family of Christ not through the externals, but through the internal of belief in Jesus, right? So Titus is that example. Now here's why this is important. Christian men, for us, our relationships are based on the Gospel. Men are hardwired to ask, are you on my team? Right. Guys love a team, right? We see this everywhere, from sports teams to gangs to army units, to clubs. Like, we want to be part of a team. That's why we're like all in. Especially at the beginning of the NFL season. We don't even know these men, but they're our team. Right there's hardwired into men. We want to be united with other men. But here, guys, here is the beauty of the gospel that men in Christ are united not by ethnicity, not by skin color, not by education level, not by income, but by the gospel of Jesus Christ. That's what binds us together. And it's a tighter bind that's than anything else in the world.
6 · Establishes the second aspect of the pattern: Paul and Titus's relationship is forged in difficult gospel work
Second thing we learned about Paul and Titus is that their relationship is marked by difficult and worthy work together. These are men who are in the trenches together. Titus becomes. If you trace what he does in the New Testament, you begin to realize Titus is the guy that gets the most difficult jobs, it seems like. And one of those jobs. If you've ever read the letters to the Corinthians. Have you guys read 1st and 2nd Corinthians? Familiar at all with them? 1st and 2nd Corinthians? Some of the most difficult letters Paul has to write to a church. They are out of control. There's all kinds of chaos in their gatherings. There's all kinds of sin going on. Paul writes them a letter to bring them back into alignment with the gospel. Guess who delivers the letter? Titus. Right? It's a. It's an intense letter. And I'm. Let me just say this. I don't think I'd want that job. I don't want to show up and read the letter and then say, all right, guys, let's talk about how to apply what Paul just said there. We do have that guy that needs to get kicked out of the church. So what are we going to do about it? That's the job. Paul gives him difficult assignments. And guys, this is what builds Christian men together as well. We are hardwired to difficult and worthy work together. We work together together, and somehow working together builds men together. I heard a guy basically tell me one time, listen, I don't like, like just sitting, getting together and sitting across from a guy and talking and sharing my feelings. That just is weird to me. But I can totally do that if we're working on a car together, right? If we're working on a car and it's like, hey, we're working on the car. Like, man, I'm having a really hard time in life. Like, it's easier to admit when I'm working on the car. Somehow this is why guys gravitate toward a gym buddy that they work out with, or they have a loyalty to the guys in their old army unit, or they play with a guy. A group of guys pick up basketball every week. Men's relationships are formed by work together and friends. There is no more difficult or more worthy work than gospel work. Which is why Paul and Titus are so tight.
7 · Illustrates the principle that men bond through work by recounting a conversation with a man who found vulnerability easier in the context of shared labor (working on a car) than in direct face-to-face conversation
I heard a guy basically tell me one time, listen, I don't like, like just sitting, getting together and sitting across from a guy and talking and sharing my feelings. That just is weird to me. But I can totally do that if we're working on a car together, right? If we're working on a car and it's like, hey, we're working on the car. Like, man, I'm having a really hard time in life. Like, it's easier to admit when I'm working on the car.
8 · Establishes the third aspect of the pattern: Paul and Titus's relationship is not unique but replicable
And last, their relationship is meant to be replicated. It's not just, okay, well, Titus and Paul, they have this real unique relationship. They. Good for them. No, Paul is essentially telling Titus, our relationship is meant to be replicated. Paul is going to tell him, show yourself a model. And Paul is saying, appoint elders in every town. These are things that Paul has done with Titus. And so essentially he's telling Titus, what I did with you, you're now to do with other men. Look, part of manhood is passing on. He's learning from the men before us and passing that on to the men after us.
9 · Illustrates the intergenerational replication principle with a personal story: the pastor's father held a manhood ceremony for him at 13 with older men charging and praying over him, and the pastor recently replicated this ceremony for his own son
This is real vivid for me. When I was 13, my dad did a guy's manhood ceremony. Not a birthday party, but a manhood ceremony, because all the invitations were not the other 13 year olds. It were like men in the church. So it was like me at age 13, like a doofus with a bunch of men. And they charged me, they prayed over me, they shared about their lives. And just recently, last year, I was able to do the same thing with my son who, who turned 13. Right? This is the pattern. There's something in this that I want to pass on what I've been given.
10 · Applies the pattern of manhood by addressing two audiences: men without natural fathers (they have spiritual fathers in the church) and all men (stop looking to worldly models and look to the Bible)
And maybe you don't have anything in the natural life. Maybe your father wasn't even part of your spiritual life. But friends, you have a legacy of faith in the church, among the fathers of the faith that you're meant to grab hold of and pass on. That's part of what it means to be a man. And so here's the thing I want to say here, in summary of this first point. If you are looking for what it means to be a man, brothers, can I just encourage you, stop looking to the world. Just stop it. We are wired to want to find models. We're wired to want to find patterns. Oh, I want to be like this. I want to be like that. Friends, what's out there, let me just say, more often than not, is just trash. It just is. It's these weird stereotypes of, well, demeaning women makes you more of a man. So, oh, I'm going to start doing right or trying to not be a Man is how you become a better man. Just try to become like the girls around you. That's not what you need either, friends. What you need is the Bible. What you need is the pattern of masculinity found here.
11 · Signals the structural shift from the relational pattern (Paul and Titus) to the specific instructions to men in Titus 2
Second, the call to manhood is to be strong and steady. Now we're going to see that Paul works his way from older men to older women to younger women to younger men. He kind of works his way through the congregation. And so we're going to take just the charge to men first today.
12 · Expounds the charge to older men in Titus 2:2 by unpacking the qualities of sober-mindedness, dignity, and self-control
Verse 2. Older men are to be sober minded, dignified, self controlled, sound in faith and love and in steadfastness. Now one of the things I love about this is that in our world today, we are obsessed with youth as a culture. But Paul begins by valuing and speaking to the older men in the congregation. And so, brothers, let me just encourage you. If you are an older man in this day, what Paul probably has in mind is men. 50 plus is probably in that culture. They didn't live super long, right? If you were like 75, you're like, whoa, right? That's. We live a little bit longer. So anybody over 50 is kind of what he's talking to. And Paul is saying, we need you, brothers, I'm going to speak to you. I need you to model something. Brothers. And what is it that they need to model? First, being sober minded, meaning that they are clear headed. They are not reactive or undisciplined in their thinking. They are thoughtful, they are insightful. They are the guy that you want to go to for advice. They are sage, like in a good way. Second, they are to be dignified. There's a healthy dignity that older men in the congregation should have. Not that they can't laugh or joke or have fun, but, but listen, they're not acting like kids. Still, they're dignified, they're acting like men. Third, they are self controlled. They restrain themselves, they restrain their impulses. They are disciplined.
13 · Continues exposition of Titus 2:2 by unpacking soundness in faith, love, and steadfastness
Brothers, let me just plead with you as a younger son to the fathers in the congregation to finish well. I have been so grieved at times where I have seen Christian leaders or pastors or businessmen or others that live commendable life and then in the last lap of the race make a shipwreck of their faith by committing adultery or by, by misusing funds or by some other ridiculous becoming drunk in public. Guys, please. Brothers, fathers in the faith, we need you to finish well. We need to see you cross the finish line and know that we can do it too. Self control and Then soundness, healthiness, sound in faith and love and in steadfastness. Now this sound in faith relates to sound doctrine. It's actually the same word there. And what it means is you're to have an inner life, a faith in the Lord, a love for the Lord and others, and an inward steadiness. And so notice this, the outward parts of dignity and gravitas and giving advice, it's powered by an inner life that is healthy because that inner life is rooted in sound doctrine. And that sound doctrine, friends, often looks like old Bibles. I remember growing up, at times I would use my dad's Bible for things. If I needed a Bible and I would open it and I would always think, why doesn't my dad get a new Bible? This one is all crumply, right? And then there would be parts where my dad, like Romans 8 would just underline. You know, most people would underline like a phrase or like a word. My dad just had Romans 8 underlined. Verse 1. Yep. Verse 2. Yep. Verse 3. Yep. 4. Wow. 5, 6. He just kept going, right? That and that did something in me. It helped me see, okay, my dad and who he is as a leader in home or church or in the community or whatever. It's powered by an inner life, an inner faith.
14 · Completes the exposition of Titus 2:2 by emphasizing that older men should grow more loving and tender with age, not more crusty
And notice this, an inner love. Look, the call is not that old men become crusty curmudgeons as they age, right? We've all met those guys, right? That it's like, man, they are grumpy, frosty, mean spirited. That's not to be the case in the congregation. It's not to be the case among the people of Christ. In fact, have you noticed something that often older men who are dignified in this way often not only are more mature than they were at 70 than at 20, they're more loving at 70 than at 20, they's more tender. They're often easier to cry sometimes at 70 than they were at 20. At 20 they were still like trying to be tough at 70 they are tough and tender. That's the charge to older men, fathers in the faith. Let me encourage you this, this is what we need to see. This is what the young men of this congregation need to see. A commendable example of you going before us.
15 · Expounds the charge to younger men in Titus 2:6 by noting that Paul gives them only one command—self-control—in contrast to the multiple qualities given to older men
And now a charge to the younger men. Now, probably what he has in view here are teenagers through 20s. Maybe you could just say, for the sake of simplicity, 40ish and below. But especially teens and twenties, the charge in verse six is this likewise urge the younger men to be self controlled. Period. Now notice this. The older men, they get a bunch of things like, hey, make sure you're this and this and this and this. Like, Paul's encouraging the older man and then he comes over to the younger men and goes, and you guys, I'm going to just give you one thing, right? And you think, okay, why does he only give them one thing? Why just self control? Well, because self control is most often not only the predominant struggle for young men, it is the quality that determines whether they will ever become godly older men, meaning everything else is attached to this ability to control yourself.
16 · Applies the call to self-control across multiple domains—sexuality, friendship, health, career, and time management
Think about it in, in all kinds of areas and how the trajectory is set. When you are young, in relationships, in sexuality, will you brothers restrain your lust? And if you will, in your teens and 20s, it will set you up to be faithful to one woman over decades. But you can't get there if you don't start with that. Or think about friendship. If you are a friend that sticks by others, that locks in and is helpful, and you may just be like, oh, I'm tired of this guy, but you lock in and you stay with him, that sets you up for friendship for the long haul. Think about health in various areas of your life. Do you drink too much? Have you given yourselves? Are you dabbling with drugs or gambling or sports bettings? And these behaviors that begin to fritter away your strength. Maybe even it's just physical health. Will you discipline your body? Cause if you aren't disciplined in your 20s, you will be an unhealthy, addicted, listless person in your 60s, right? This is the defining time in your life. Think about your career when you're in your teens and twenties. Will you work hard at jobs that you hate? Because here's the deal. Every guy that I've ever talked to in their 50s and 60s, it's like, oh, I love my job. None of them started out loving it the same way in their 20s. Usually the I love my job season was preceded by a really long I hate my job season, but I showed up anyway season. And a lot of young men get to that season and they're like, I think I'm out. I can't do it. Like, no, well, you're never going to get any further. Will you be self controlled? Will you show up on time, clock in and give your best, right? Will you commit to a course of study or a career or a craft? Or will you just complain about life? Will you show up and do the work when it comes to time? Will you give your time to things that matter? Or will you fritter it away in the endless stream of news and sports and entertainment and whatever else is out there and look up and realize I just spent two hours doing I don't know what. Will you control yourself? I love the poem from Rudyard Kipling called if. And actually somebody after the first service shared with me that they teach it first. They're a high school teacher and they teach it first the beginning of the semester to teach people you're going to have to have self control and discipline to succeed. And here's just a few lines from the poem. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you. If being hated, you don't give way to hating. If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run. Yours is the earth and everything in it, and which is more, you'll be a man, my son. What Kipling is saying is that the way that you go from a young man to an older man or a boy, say it this way, from a boy to a man is on the path of self control. And you're like, I'm a boy, I'd like to be a man. This is the path. And you're like, I don't love that path. I don't like that path. That looks hard. Looks like a lot of just pain and difficulty. Yup, it's the path. And if you're like, why am I not a better man? Let me refer you again to exhibit A, the path of self control. Right? This is what we are called to.
17 · Expounds Titus 2:7 as a charge to all men to be leaders in their spheres, not just formal church leaders
And then Paul gives a word to leaders, applying both to young men and to old men. Now this is directed specifically to Titus, but this is all, I think applicable to all men because all men. Let me encourage you, brothers, all men are called to be leaders in some respect. We will have different capacities, we will have different spheres of influence, we will have different gifts. But if you are not leading relationally, practically in work, in family, in the church, I think you're not fulfilling your God given purpose. And so then to leaders, what does he say? He says, Verse 7, show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works. And in your teaching show integrity, dignity and sound speech that cannot be condemned. These are the two things he charges them. One, you should be able to teach, and two, you should be able to live a life that backs up what you teach. These two things go together.
18 · Applies the charge to teach by addressing men who feel they lack teaching ability
Now let me encourage you, brothers, not everybody is going to have a natural ability to just teach or to give a Lecture or to give a sermon or whatever. But every single man is called brothers to be able to instruct others with the truths of God's word. And it may not. It may not be Charles Spurgeon or whoever, Billy Graham. Like, it may be simple, it may be plain, but it is beautiful in the sight of God. And you were made to do this. You were made to, in your teaching, impart the truths of the gospel to people who need them. Like, you may not realize, like, I don't teach much, man. Some of the best teachers I know don't realize that they are teaching. They're simply sharing from the Bible to encourage their wife. They're sharing from the Bible to encourage their kids. They're sharing from the Bible faithfully in home group in a way that builds other people up. And. And if you went to them and you said, hey, man, you're one of the best Bible teachers in the church, they would say, I'm not doing any teaching. Like, yes, you are. Right? You're imparting the truth of the word.
19 · Applies the charge to live consistently by instructing men to identify one quality from the sermon to work on and one sphere to apply it in
And then here's the other key. You're a model of good works that aligns with your teaching. Friends, there is no, in the church, do as I say, not as I do. Right? There's none of that. There can be none of that. The gospel you proclaim should have a life that's aligned with it. Not perfectly, but. And so, friend, let me encourage you, brother, in the faith, Father in the faith. Let me encourage you to think about how you're doing here. Let me encourage you specifically to ask the Lord. Lord, what is one thing in this list I need to grow in and one area to work on it in. Take a quality to develop, take a sphere to apply it, and then go to work. Maybe you've never opened the Bible with your kids or family in your life. And if you show up tonight at dinner and you're like, before we pray, I'd like to read a verse. Everyone in the family's gonna go, no. What? Where's our dad? You know, like, okay, maybe that's your obligation. I'm just gonna. I don't have anything else. I'm just gonna read a psalm before dinner. That's all I got. That's enough, brother. That's enough to start with. Or maybe at work. You're just realizing, man, I just. I'm. I'm complaining more than working or I'm not dignified or I have an addiction I need to break, Right? Whatever it is, in your family and your work and your home in Your life, your personal world, in your inner life, what's one thing you need to do?
20 · Applies the relational pattern from the beginning of the sermon by instructing men not to pursue growth in isolation but to ask another man for help
And then let me encourage you, the Lord doesn't leave you there. In the context of Titus and Paul, you get to ask a second question. Who do I know that can help? All right, so pick one thing you're gonna work on, but don't then just go, here's what guys do. Cool. I have a thing I need to work on. Cool. Nobody can know about it, right? Like, man. And if you were to ask people, like, hey, are you working? Like, what are you working on? Like, just, you know, things. Just working on some things, right? And guys, that's not Titus and Timothy and Paul, that's not what we see. Instead, we see this father, son relationship where we in the church can go to a brother, can go to a father in the faith, and listen, I have never in my life opened the Bible in front of my family. I don't know where to start, but I see that you do it. Can you help me? Right? That is what we do. That's the benefit we get in the body of Christ, that there are other brothers and fathers and people that go before us that we can get help from. So find an area and then find somebody to help.
21 · Establishes Jesus as the ultimate model of manhood by emphasizing his strength, steadiness, and sacrificial love
Third, the model of manhood. The model of manhood. We could spend the whole sermon here, but I just want to draw out one implication from the context of Titus. Because the call to manhood in Titus 2 is in the context of the broader call to. To be in Christ, to trust Christ and to follow Christ. Because the ultimate model, the pattern, might be Paul and Titus, but the ultimate model of where we're aiming is not Paul. It's not anybody else. It's Jesus Christ. And we see that reference at the very beginning. Paul references the Father and Christ Jesus, our Savior, Jesus. And essentially this. This pattern of fathers and sons is set not by Paul, but by God the Father. And this path, this model of what it means to be a man is not set by Paul, but by Jesus Christ. And, friends, in Jesus, we find the strongest and steadiest man who ever lived. Now, you might think, okay, well, I'm not. I'm not like Jesus. I can't calm storms with a word. I can't raise people from the dead. So he's not a good model. Friends, that's not what we're talking about here. What we're talking about is the strength and steadiness of Jesus, who sets his face to Jerusalem and does not turn aside from it. The strength and steadiness of Jesus, who in the garden of Gethsemane, before he goes to the cross, prays, father, if it's possible, let this cup pass from me yet, not as I will, but as you will. And then sets his faith to the crown of thorns and the crucifixion and the whipping and the gasping for air and the death awaiting him. That strength, that steadiness, brothers, that is our model. And in that strength and steadiness we get. One other aspect that is implied here, but is explicit throughout the Bible is to be a man means to be strong, to be steady. And then Jesus adds, it means to be sacrificial. To be sacrificial. Titus 1:4 tells us that Jesus is our Savior. Titus 2:14 says, he gave himself for us, to redeem us. Look, this is where Jesus is gloriously different than the culture around us when it comes to manhood. Do you know why? Because often cultural manhood is built around man saying, you guys die for me, right? You work for me. You give me what I want. We take that into dating, we take that into marriage, we take that into work. I'm going to get what I want out of you. You give to me. Do you know what Jesus does? He flips it on its head and he says, I give to you. I die for you. I sacrifice for you. And in that, he sets the pattern for what it means to be a man, right? That's how you get to. As we're going to talk about in a couple weeks. You get to Ephesians 5, where husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. That's the trajectory of manhood. Is this self giving now, this matters in a couple ways, brothers.
22 · Applies the sacrificial model of Jesus to the experience of failure
One, it matters when we fail the most. Look, everybody that's coming to this text, if you're a man and you're looking at, okay, I want to be a real man, let me look at Titus 2. You're going to walk away going, oh, right. I have felt Titus 2 just watching me this week in a way I don't love, right? The Bible's just open to Titus 2. And I could feel it, like, when I'm wanting to be selfish, I'm like, I'm tired. I don't want to do that. And Titus 2 is just like. And I'm going like, okay, I'm going to just close this here, you know, so it's not looking at me. Look all of us. When we look into Titus 2, it's looking back at us. It's watching us. And we are going. I'm not this there. I'm not this there. I didn't succeed there. I left something undone there. Friends, here is the good news. The gospel is so much better than what you'll hear in the world. What you'll hear in the world is you suck as a man, do better and make yourself better. And then you'll be respectable, and then you'll be loved, and then you'll be able to be look yourself in the mirror. That is not what Jesus says, guys. Instead, what Jesus says is, I die for you. I give myself for you. And so you can bring to Jesus your laziness, your lust, your impatience, your passivity, your rage. You can bring them to Jesus and say, jesus, I need your help because I can't pay for this on my own. And Jesus, gladly, friends, will forgive you of your sins because he has died for them. So, friend, if you are a man today and you have never come to Christ definitively as your savior and Lord, friend, do that today. You're never gonna be the man that you were made to be apart from coming to Jesus, apart from coming to yourself, coming to your senses, humbling yourself, getting rid of your pride, saying, I need Jesus, and then gladly accepting the gift of salvation. You'll never become who you were meant to be until that moment happens. But you can do it today. You can do it right now in your seat where you sit, claim him as your Savior and your Lord. We all come to Jesus and need his salvation.
23 · Applies Jesus's sacrificial model as the means by which men flourish
But second, the sacrificial aspects of Jesus is also our example. Friends, we are to live then the pattern of Christian manhood saying, I sacrifice for you. I sacrifice for you in marriage, in work, in community. And here is the glorious countercultural thing. As we do the hard work of sacrifice, we actually become the men we were made to be. The strongest men you know, I bet you anything in the church in particular, the strongest men you know became that way through a steady step of sacrifice every day, right? The dads that you respect are the dads that died to themselves. The husbands you respect are the husbands who died to themselves, the workers you respect, the guys that held down a hard job they didn't particularly love for 40 years for the sake of their family and others. They did that through a steady stream of self sacrifice. And friends, here is the reality. Self sacrifice causes masculinity to flourish as God designed. And in fact, you will never become the man God has called you to be until you begin to be a man like Jesus who says, I die for You. And here's what's, what's counter cultural, counterintuitive. You then become stronger. You then actually become more fulfilled. You then become more. More glorious in God's sight and. And more trustworthy to the people around you. And all of a sudden you find strength you didn't know you had. As you walk the path of Jesus, as Jesus works in you.
24 · Signals the shift from the model of manhood (Jesus) to the purpose of manhood (mission)
Now, friends, let me encourage you to the model of manhood. And last, the purpose of manhood.
25 · Establishes the missional purpose of biblical manhood by expounding Titus 2:8's reference to opponents and verse 10's reference to adorning the doctrine of God
Let me just very briefly end with this brief look. We're going to spend more time here in Titus. But. But all of this isn't just for ourselves. It's not just for our spouse. It's not just for our families or our church. Titus actually constantly has in view the world around us. And you see a reference to this in verse 8 where it says, be like this so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. In fact, the section ends in verse 10 saying that we want to act in these ways so that in everything we may adorn the doctrine of God ourselves. Savior adorned. For who? For people who don't know Jesus. So Paul has in mind an island of Crete with. Let me just say this. If you contrast chapter one with some really poor models of masculinity, contrast what we just read with what the Cretan poet says. Cretins are always liars, evil beasts and lazy gluttons. Right? That's the island. And so Paul is saying, men, we want you to model something different. We want you to model a strength, a steadiness and a sacrificial leadership that says something to the island around you. And guys, let me just encourage you. Men were made for this. We were made for this. Men are made for a mission. And men flourish when they have a mission, and they shrivel when they have no mission.
26 · Illustrates the missional purpose of manhood by tracing masculine desires from childhood (He-Man's swords, quests, princesses, castles) to adulthood (golf clubs, desert rucks) and arguing that these desires are meant to be pointed toward gospel mission
And I. Look, let me illustrate this this way. Just go with me on this. I grew up with three sisters and I love them dearly. But I was the only boy with three sisters. And now I am raising three sons, no daughters. And so my household is real different than when I grew up. And I'm noticing all these kind of things about masculinity and manhood as I raise these three little, you know, I don't know, little, little goobers. I love them. And so recently the boys and I have gotten into the old 80s character, he man. And here's the thing about He Man. He man fulfills basically every desire a young boy has in their life. They want a cool Sword. They want to go on a quest. They want to build a castle. It looks like a skull. They want to rescue princesses, they want to fight dragons and evil. And like, that's it. That's the package. That's all we really want out of life, right? And what's funny is, as I've watched my boys love those things, I realized men don't actually change at all. Because that desire to have like a cool sword just becomes a golf club later or like a motorcycle. And guys, you know, 10 year olds will stand around and be like, that's a cool sword. What you get? I got for my birthday, man. Like, honestly, really cool. It's the same thing guys do at the driving range. Hey, where'd you get that driver? I was a real cool driver, man. I like that. Like, have you ever seen that yellow guy? Like, that's, that's what we do, right? And we want to go on a quest, right? We want to, like, some of the guys at church did a big, you know, crazy ruck through the desert and, and walk through the desert. And I was like, that sounds absolutely horrible. And all the guys that did it were like, yeah, love that, right? Because there's something in us. We want a quest, we want a castle. We want to defeat evil. We want to rescue a princess. That's in us. Friends, all of that is meant to be pointed here. Because in this, friends, we find a fight worth fighting. Not just against, you know, toys in our backyard, but against the forces of evil, against the world, the flesh and the devil. And brothers, there is a princess to rescue. And she is the bride of Christ. And there is a quest for us. And it is found on the hard and beautiful road of following Jesus to the cross. And there is a castle to be built which is the kingdom of God that will shine into all eternity. And so, friends, when we as men long for some kind of a purpose, let me encourage you. Pointed in the right direction. Because look, when men aren't pointed in the right direction, we find all kinds of weird, stupid ways to spend our time. Up at 2am with another round of Call of Duty or in the gym for the fifth time that day, we don't have a quest. We shrivel. And friends, this gives us life. Brothers, you were made for something, man. You were made for something. You were made for a purpose. And so what's at stake here? When we have self control, when we're dignified, when we teach the Bible, it's not just okay, do those things. Cause they're good. Do Those things because we are on a mission, brothers. We're on a mission with Christ.
27 · Addresses the women in the congregation directly with three specific encouragements: (1) encourage men when you see biblical manhood in them, (2) encourage men toward strong male friendships, and (3) do not lower the standard of biblical manhood but call men upward
Now, as we close, I just want to end with one word to the sisters, because so far, you know, sisters, moms in the faith, thank you for being here. But I'm sure at times you felt like, why am I here? I'm just also here. But remember, the Bible is written to all of them at once. The letter would be read at once. And so what are you meant to take from this? Well, let me give you three encouragements. Number one, encourage your brothers, fathers in the faith, and sons in the faith. Anywhere you see biblical manhood in them, look, these sons, brothers, fathers in the faith, they are facing into the wind culturally. And sometimes taking a step seems really difficult. And I just want to tell you, your encouragement to us, to them, means more than you know. I mean, I was going through something really difficult a while back, and Jen, my wife, just. It was a hard series of meetings and things, and my wife, Jen, basically said very simply, I respect you. And it was all of a sudden like getting hit with an adrenaline shot in the heart. Like, boom, okay, here we go. We got this. We're gonna get back out there, right? There's something that happens that when the sisters and mothers and daughters in our life say, I see you striving. I see you trying. I see you putting the work in. I know it's not perfect, but I see it. You don't know what that does for us. You see these qualities, Call them out and encourage them. Second, encourage the men in your life towards strong male friendships. Let me just say, often we need a push, especially in this culture, right? Where it's like, oh, you're having a big problem. Have you called any of the guys about it? My wife regularly is like, have you called any of the guys about it? And have you talked to any of the guys? Have you spent time with the guys? I was hanging out with one of the brothers from church yesterday, and his wife texted him and basically said, please take your time. Like, basically, please stay out with other men, because that's. We need that in our lives. We need to be shaped by others. So encourage us to do that. And third, let me encourage you with this. Sisters. Mothers, do not lower your standards of manhood. Don't lower the standard of biblical manhood to whatever it seems like we can achieve is realistic for us. No, we grow when we are called upward and outward to the standard. We need the encouragement, saying, I see you striving, and we need the charge, brother. You can do this, brother. You must do this, husband. We need you, son. Get back out there. We need that.
28 · Closes the sermon by instructing the congregation to stand and physically lay hands on the men for prayer
So here's what I want to do. We're going to end with a prayer, and I'd love to just pray over the men in the church. So if you would please stand right now. And here's what I want to do as we're ending. I know this may feel unusual, but listen, if you're here and you've got your family with you, I'd love for your wife or your daughters or whoever, your sons put a hand on you. I want to pray over all the dads that happen to be present. If you don't happen to have family, that's okay. But let me just say, if you're with your family, put an arm on that brother or husband or dad and let's go to the Lord together.
29 · The closing prayer confesses the struggle against world, flesh, and devil; acknowledges weariness and failure; rejects condemnation by clinging to the blood of Christ and Romans 8:1; prays for the Spirit's empowerment; and ends with a doxological charge to follow Jesus down the cruciform path
Oh, heavenly Father. Lord, I just want to pray over the men of our church. And we together just want to ask for your help. Lord, we confess that we're going to fight against the world and our own flesh and the devil who hates the model of manhood in the Bible. And Lord, there are days that we are tired and we are worn out and we feel weary and we feel beat up. And then there are many, many days, maybe even more, where we add our own failures, our own messing it up, our own going to bed, leaving something undone. We should have done the conversation we should have had. And it's so easy for that moment, God, for us to be condemned and to feel like, I'm not even going to try. It doesn't seem worth it. But Lord, we want to look to you today, Lord, we look to you and we confess that you're our Savior. Every one of those failures, God, has been blood bought and paid for by Jesus Christ. Lord, I pray that no man would leave this room condemned, feeling like they've got no hope, feeling like they've no business being a Christian or following Jesus. Lord, I pray against condemnation. I pray that we would receive the truth of Romans 8:1, that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So we cling to the blood of Christ in this moment. God and Lord, I pray that we would look to you as our Lord, as our captain, as our leader, as you lead us down the cruciform path. Lord, it is bloody but worthwhile work being a man in the image of Christ. And Lord, I pray that we would. We would have strong hands and strong backs and strong legs as we follow Jesus. Lord, I just pray for your Holy Spirit to come and empower every single man in this room seeking to follow Jesus. Lord, we need your help. But we cling to the promise that you are our strength. The greater is he who is in us than he who is in the world. You are greater than the world, greater than the flesh, greater than the devil. And so, Lord, lead on, we say. Raise the banner and we will follow you. Lead us on, God, in your name, amen.